How do you guys feel?

Do you think that we should allow the women to post a question in here to gain insight into our way of thinking? The only reason I ask is because men and women are so different and it might help them to understand that special person in their life.

yeah.. i support the idea.. if there's a way you're thinking of to keep it in balance? to keep it still men's forum, but like have a question of the week or something? i like the idea Dragon..

Yeah I don't think a question of the week would be bad...maybe start the thread by one of the guys. That way we can keep it in check.

yeah... might wanna check w.Clyde, but i think if a guy starts it then asks for woman input, its legal and we wont get tossed in jail.... or, i mean, in trouble... yeah, thats what i meant...

I've never cared if women post here so long as they remember this area is for and about us guys. It's our den, and while they can hang out, they can't control the remote.

Cyran0

I am definitely gonna check with Doc John about it, but I havent got to yet. My internet provider has been down most of the day. I will let you know as soon as I know

i dont think women should post here. There are plenty of other places here to ask for a womans input. This is suppossed to be a mens forum, and someone may only be saying something or asking a question because women cant post here.

heyjoe... i see where you're coming from... more discussion might bring out what has yet to be observed...

i dont think anyone is asking that we give full benefit to women as far as posting in mens goes, but, instead, allow a limited communication, with respect on all sides, and an attempt to greater understanding.. why allow this imaginary wall to exist? it is not healing...

so a woman asks one question a week... thats hardly taking over the forum imo... and they still would not be allowed to post here at all unless by invitation...

sure, there are ways to share opinions thoughout the site without this... the thing is, this forum establishes a rule guide which doesnt exist in other forums and simply finding respondants is much easier, both for them, and for ourselves...

This is the first time I have even read this forum....but I don't think it would bother me one bit.....I'm use to it.

Heck, if any of you can actually understand women without their input...pm me so I can learn what ever you have, cause I sure don't get it.

I have to admit though it is nice to have a place they don't actually get to control, I have a wife, 2 little girls and even a female dog...so I hardly ever get to be right, here at home, or get my way anyway...my wife and I have never communicated well at all and have been together for .......well since we were 17 approx. and we are now pushing mid 30's.

If we ever do agrue my wife is not one to admit she was wrong.....if she was....she just drops whatever it is she is saying..after getting in the last word of course and pretends like nothing ever happened later, oh well, I have learned to live with it...I am not innocent all the time either.

But it would be nice for her to actually listen to how I feel for once without being defencive, that will never happen though.
We are totaly opposite, but somehow managed to stick together this long...most of the time we do fine.

oh well atleast I got to vent a bit.... LOL..that was nice.

Heck I need to vent some more...I don't get it ....I only work 4 days a week and the kids stay attached to me for the other 3, since they like to play outside and help me with whatever I am doing......my wife don't have to work, and one is 5 so she is in school most of the day, when I am at work...and she acts like her job is harder than mine. She spends most of the day working out, or talking on the phone to her best friend IMO, & gets to take a nap when our 3 year old does?????

She better be glad she's so hot....just kidding..I love her, but she really gets on my nerves sometimes...I'm sure I do hers plenty, as well

oh well..dang, that felt good to actually be able to say.

The one thing I can tell you Coral is to cherish every minute that you get to spend with your kids and wife...it has taken me four months of separation from my wife and kids to realize how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. Being a stay at home parent is a very tough job...when you go to work you are around people that can talk to you on the same level as yourself...when your wife is at home and the kids are there the only real conversation she will get is when you get home or she goes out with her friends...If you broke down everything that your wife does in the house she would be making almost ten times more than you do...not that I am trying to make exscuses, it is just the way it is...

ya I understand...I do cherish our time together,and it is mostly good....

she does have friends that she talks to on the phone and go's out shoping and all, but I quess even then she has to bring our youngest one along

We usaully get along great, and she constantly reminds me I am stuck with her no matter what, but I quess after being with someone so long you start to get a little...well...whats a good word??

We do allot together ..we probably go on vaction atleast 3-4 times a year...and I feel she has it made compared to most of her friends some with husbands that treat them like crap in my opinion and spend little time with their kids...

I just wish she would listen to how I feel if I ever do have something to say about her...since I really don't have much choice if I want to listen to her or not...I quess it has allot to do with how she was raised ....her mother is very overbearing..and her father just takes it

oh well..atleast I got you guys to listen

thanks

Coral, I hear where you're coming from. My wife is definitely in charge and I knock myself out trying to do everything I possibly can for her and my kids. I know we're both exhausted but a little recognition is nice now and again.

Truth is though, once you're married with kids, the husband is the last priority. Number one is the kids. Number two is the wife. Number three is the dog. Number four is the husband. We are an after thought. What we want, need, think, it's all secondary.

This is more or less out of necessity. The kids have obvious needs and are 100% dependent. The wife is the primary care giver to the kids so what she needs to continue on is the next priority. The dog is a dependent and will poop on your couch if you don't take care of her. Us? We're just expected to keep the show going, one way or another.

This seems to be the most recent update to the traditional family structure. In previous generations, the woman was completely exploited and her needs/wants were ignored. Now the power arrangement seems to have shifted in some demographics. Obviously the old structure still applies in many cases but it certainly does not apply at my house.

I could see getting flamed for this post but it's true in my case so it's just an honest observation.

Cyran0

I am sorry Cyran I tend to disagree with that statement about Husbands coming last...My wife on my 30th birthday planned a whole day of all my favorite things...the one thing I can say about my wife is she really puts me first,

Like I said, every household is different. And I was just venting. Truth is, both my wife and I are overwhelmed and neither of us are really having our needs met.

Cyran0

dragon..you are lucky then, I do have a good wife don't get me wrong, its just we don't communicate well if we have a problem, I feel it is probably both our fault for this partly, and I am not deprived sexualy or nothing...almost every other day just about, even after all these years, rarely do more than 2 days pass before I am getting lucky.....if it was my birthday, that would be my favorite things to do all day LOL..... I guess she knows how to keep me complaisant...but it would still be nice to get to express my opinion if it is not the same as hers without friction.

I guess since we have been living together since we were 17years old....16 + years.....things change and I have to learn to change with them, we have been through allot, 2 miscarraiges, and having 2 children...plus just reaching our own maturity......

It has not always been like it is now since I really did not have much to complain about when I was younger since it was a whole different life style for me then than now, I do have allot more to be happy about though, since there is 4 of us now....but stress works on both of us every now and then

though it still would be nice to be listen'd to once and awhile when I am stressed. We normally just get along fine ,its just when a problem does arise ...most of the time something stupid...there is just no way of expressing how I feel..she is a good women, she is just hard to communicate with far as problems go for me

example: if she asks if I like a outfit better than another she'll put both on then ask me which I like better.

If I say the blue one. She might say well it really don't go with these black boots and jeans. Do you really think it looks good?? I really think the red one looks better with these boots.

Then I might say. Well if you already knew then why did you ask me ??

Then from there she might get on defence and make a comment...that I might follow with my own and it becomes a stupid argument...

I won't fall for that one any more though....I know to just say something like.

Let me see the red one again, ya I think your right it does look better

oh well..I'll never know it all I quess

Cyran...you are right ...in my house she rules, first the kids then the wife then me...I put a dog door in, so I did not have to spend as much time with her, and have to be last in line ...but she still demands some attention also..but we live in the country were she has woods and fields to roam and stays busy out there

We went out tonight and I let her do the drinking since I had to drive, so she is already sleeping, she had a blast I think LOL

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL

Know about women???

A guy that has been a good man all his life gets a visit from God. God tells him he can have anything he wants. The man asks God to make a bridge from Ca. to Hi. since he likes to drive and visit there because he dosen't like flying. God says it would take to long to get the logistics and materials together, not that it can't be done, but, it would take a lot of effort. Can he think of something else he would like. The guy says 'sure, I wanna know all about women, what they really feel, what they mean by saying oh, and what is that supposed to mean, etc. " God says "would you like 2 0r 4 lanes on that bridge.

LOLOLOL that was good

Coral communication is very important with couples...if it is not there then the basis of the marriage tends to fall apart. I have seen friends that we thought were going to stay married forever because they were the perfect couple only to have their marriage fall apart. It sounds to me like you and your wife have known each other for a very long time...just like my wife and me. As far as the questions about which dress looks better...yeah don't really have an answer there...usually when I tell her which one looks better she asks me why? Ummmmmm because I think it looks better. My wife is a wonderful woman that has put up with a lot of my crap during our seven years of marriage and I admire her for that...but because we really did not communicate (in the way we should have...i.e. me listening to what she had to say) I am in the process of trying to mend the marriage that I broke and the friendship that I lost. Just remember it is nice to be listened to...and nicer to hear what she is saying...and you will not be able to fix the problems that she has...just smile, hug her and tell her that you love her...because that is all she wants...she wants to know that you are listening to her problems and not being a man and trying to come up with a solution to them.

Happy New Year

Dragon

......... I am sorry your communication problems led to seperation....I understand its nice to be listen'd to .....heck thats what I'd like...to be listen'd to...we have a great life style and probably what most would consider the perfect marraige...... though some may have a perfect marraige...I have yet to see one...including ours

even one of my wifes best friends, her and her husband(him mostly) are very religious, they have many more problems with communication than us even, heck even she and other of her friends tell my wife how lucky she is....she called the other morning around 10:00am and my wife was still in bed, so her friend gave me the perfect husband award for keeping the kids entertained and letting her stay in bed...I liked that

I let her sleep in friday thru sunday, provide her with anything she wants or needs and do listen to her all the time, it is just when we have a problem that we have communication break down, though I am sure "I contribute", as well, I am not gonna sit around and be as passive as her father is to her mother and she knows it LOL...her mother jokes all the time about one time when she was over (which is a few times a week) since she lives down the road, my wife was naggin me about something, I told her your not gonna talk to me like your mother does your father, you can take that to the bank......so when ever we are at her parents house around her dad, if she says something snipy...her mom will jokingly say " your not gonna talk to Eddie like I do your father " where he can hear it LOL

I quess she respects the fact that I am not a push over like him, I don't think women want a total passive wimp either,but may be wrong

I don't feel our problems would ever lead to a seperation since we have yet to even spend a day apart....but i quess that is just something you can't predetermin

Heck...I'm gonna be building a small quest house with a sleeping loft and bathroom, for when her family comes up from florida to visit, then I will also have a safe haven, LOL

It was funny last night her and one of her friends got a little drunk when we were playing cards, they had a little dispute about the rules about something....though it was not a serious dispute, they both would not back down, then this morning her friend called her and they got into it again LOL, her husband said they are just alike...it was funny to me and him

atleast her friend gets to plead her case LOL ...he or I would just be wrong if they were disputing with us