Sick and tired of asexual wife.....

continuosly blue · Aug 30, 2019 at 03:00 AM

I know she has physical reasons for not liking or wanting sex. But I need some kind of physical connection with her. It’s not even just sex. She basically never even touches me. Just a bull**** kiss hello or goodbye. She seems to have lost all her femininity. I need physical touch in my life. Sexually or in any way.
She won’t go to couples counseling. Won’t talk about it. I feel like my feelings don’t mean a damn thing to her. I wish I had the ***** to just leave.

SorryShaped · Aug 30, 2019 at 08:06 AM

I went through all this for a long time. Almost two years, nothing, not even a kiss. She claimed that she didn't like kissing. It was, in my case, efforts to push my mental disorder around and cause an episode. It worked. I broke down. I was hospitalized. I divorced her.
Are you in counseling?

continuosly blue · Sep 03, 2019 at 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I went through all this for a long time. Almost two years, nothing, not even a kiss. She claimed that she didn't like kissing. It was, in my case, efforts to push my mental disorder around and cause an episode. It worked. I broke down. I was hospitalized. I divorced her.
Are you in counseling?

Yes......but I think we BOTH need to go ! Of course there’s nothing wrong with her , it’s me. Look , I couldn’t do anything sexual , ( myself ) , for a long time because of physical problems. If she came to me and said she needed to be pleased, I would have . But she didn’t. Probably went elsewhere , but I can’t prove that. The fact is she doesn’t even want to touch. She treats me like a leper. I’m beginning to take it personal. I know how much women lie.
And she says I’m stressing HER out !!! Ugh..

rocketboy · Sep 12, 2019 at 08:41 PM

This sounds so much like my situation, I got turned down or ignored for sex so many times over 3 to 4 years I quit asking. Every 3-6 months she will initiate, and I can't say no. She is pre-menopausal, but refuses any hormone replacement therapy. Plus there is NO affection or warmth. Today I am feeling especially awful, I told her so, all I got was "sorry, I hope you feel better". No talking to me, no touching, nothing. Today my suicidal thoughts are especially strong. I am starting to believe my thoughts that she wants me gone, however I may leave.

continuosly blue · Sep 15, 2019 at 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rocketboy

This sounds so much like my situation, I got turned down or ignored for sex so many times over 3 to 4 years I quit asking. Every 3-6 months she will initiate, and I can't say no. She is pre-menopausal, but refuses any hormone replacement therapy. Plus there is NO affection or warmth. Today I am feeling especially awful, I told her so, all I got was "sorry, I hope you feel better". No talking to me, no touching, nothing. Today my suicidal thoughts are especially strong. I am starting to believe my thoughts that she wants me gone, however I may leave.

I can ID with you 100%. I’ll tell you one thing. My wife did have serious medical issues that negate her taking any hormone replacement therapy. Once that happens , well , that’s it. I get that. BUT , it’s my belief that you don’t NEED hormones to have feelings and be intimate. I believe that that’s a separate issue. There’s no reason, I believe , that even without a sexual drive a woman cannot “ take care “ of her man just to at least keep him happy and the marriage going !
Most women are robotic when it comes to sex anyway , I’m talking about how many times they “ fake “ orgasm or the whole thing altogether when they are not in the “ mood “.

Sep 15, 2019 at 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by continuosly blue

There’s no reason, I believe , that even without a sexual drive a woman cannot “ take care “ of her man just to at least keep him happy and the marriage going !

Once either spouse begins to perceive intimacy as a chore, it's only a matter of time before both parties begin to resent each other.

That being said, there's a psychological aspect to sex and intimacy that can be enjoyed, but that takes a considerable amount of skill and a willingness to explore new and exciting activities. Like BDSM. Personally, I get off more on watching my partners squirm than I do from anything else.

Quote:

Most women are robotic when it comes to sex anyway , I’m talking about how many times they “ fake “ orgasm or the whole thing altogether when they are not in the “ mood “.

Have you tried engaging them in sex instead of just worrying about your needs getting taken care of?

downandlonely · Sep 15, 2019 at 05:44 PM

Not saying this is the case with you, but most men I have been with don't even try to please me. They just do what feels good to them. It makes me feel like I don't matter. When sex is like that, women will not want to do it.

continuosly blue · Dec 13, 2019 at 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Not saying this is the case with you, but most men I have been with don't even try to please me. They just do what feels good to them. It makes me feel like I don't matter. When sex is like that, women will not want to do it.

My situation is the complete opposite. I’m one of those rare men I guess who actually care MORE about pleasing my partner than myself. Actually , that’s what makes it more pleasurable for me. Women shouldn’t think of pleasing their man as a “chore” . I do plenty of unpleasurable chores for my wife !

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Sick and tired of asexual wife.....

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SorryShaped Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Kentucky Posts: 3,273 7	Aug 30, 2019 at 08:06 AM #2 I went through all this for a long time. Almost two years, nothing, not even a kiss. She claimed that she didn't like kissing. It was, in my case, efforts to push my mental disorder around and cause an episode. It worked. I broke down. I was hospitalized. I divorced her. Are you in counseling?
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downandlonely Legendary Member Since Mar 2018 Location: United States Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.6k hugs given	Sep 15, 2019 at 05:44 PM #7 Not saying this is the case with you, but most men I have been with don't even try to please me. They just do what feels good to them. It makes me feel like I don't matter. When sex is like that, women will not want to do it.
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