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sito
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 02:32 PM
  #1
Is anyone a late bloomer? I seem to mature really late. I am 53 now. I feel like a 30 year old.
My mind seem sharpen at this point than when I was in my 20s.

How do you guys cope with the issue?
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Smile Nov 23, 2019 at 07:17 PM
  #2
Well... I typically avoid replying to posts in the Men-Focused Support forum. But I noticed you had yet to receive replies to this post. So I thought I would write one.

I'm 71 years old now. But I often have to remind myself I'm not 21 anymore. (My body does help with this though by keeping me aware of just how old I really am.) I recall my father saying, one time many years ago when he was younger than I am now, that he didn't feel any different "inside" (probably in his 60's) than he did when he was young. So I tend to think that, while we age on the outside, mentally we don't change that much as the decades roll by.

There is this thing that tends to happen in middle age, though, that is referred to as the "mid-life crisis" where men especially begin to feel the urge make dramatic changes in their lives. Perhaps that is some part of what you are experiencing? Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject:

The Male Midlife Crisis

When Men Feel Trapped: A Practical Guide

For me, it was around the age of 50 that the wheels started coming off my cart, so to speak. They've been wobbling off & on again ever since. So I don't think I could say that my mind seemed sharper in my early 50's than it was when I was younger. I guess I was, perhaps, more "settled" & in some ways more mature. But it was also the point where inner conflicts I had kept buried all my life began to get the better of me. The result was 2 major suicide attempts one around the age of 50, the second around the age of 60. (I seem to be on something of a 10 year cycle.)

I always assumed, I guess, that the inner conflicts I kept buried all of my life would gradually resolve themselves as I got older. But what has occurred instead is that I've just gotten crazier. So I always like to encourage younger folks to do what they can to resolve their mental-health issues while they're young because, for one thing, the older you get the less the mental-health services system cares about your problems. And for another (at least based on my own experiences) you don't get saner with age... you just get weirder.

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Default Nov 27, 2019 at 03:19 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Well... I typically avoid replying to posts in the Men-Focused Support forum. But I noticed you had yet to receive replies to this post. So I thought I would write one.


I'm 71 years old now. But I often have to remind myself I'm not 21 anymore. (My body does help with this though by keeping me aware of just how old I really am.) I recall my father saying, one time many years ago when he was younger than I am now, that he didn't feel any different "inside" (probably in his 60's) than he did when he was young. So I tend to think that, while we age on the outside, mentally we don't change that much as the decades roll by.


There is this thing that tends to happen in middle age, though, that is referred to as the "mid-life crisis" where men especially begin to feel the urge make dramatic changes in their lives. Perhaps that is some part of what you are experiencing? Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject:


The Male Midlife Crisis


When Men Feel Trapped: A Practical Guide


For me, it was around the age of 50 that the wheels started coming off my cart, so to speak. They've been wobbling off & on again ever since. So I don't think I could say that my mind seemed sharper in my early 50's than it was when I was younger. I guess I was, perhaps, more "settled" & in some ways more mature. But it was also the point where inner conflicts I had kept buried all my life began to get the better of me. The result was 2 major suicide attempts one around the age of 50, the second around the age of 60. (I seem to be on something of a 10 year cycle.)


I always assumed, I guess, that the inner conflicts I kept buried all of my life would gradually resolve themselves as I got older. But what has occurred instead is that I've just gotten crazier. So I always like to encourage younger folks to do what they can to resolve their mental-health issues while they're young because, for one thing, the older you get the less the mental-health services system cares about your problems. And for another (at least based on my own experiences) you don't get saner with age... you just get weirder.
Thanks for the reply. I guess I am the only one who goes through weird stage in life.

I am not sure it is midlife crisis.
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Smile Nov 27, 2019 at 07:40 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by sito View Post
Thanks for the reply. I guess I am the only one who goes through weird stage in life.

I am not sure it is midlife crisis.
There just doesn't seem to be a lot of activity in the Men-Focused Support forum. There have been attempts made previously to stir things up here. But it doesn't seem to have ended up amounting to anything.

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Default Nov 27, 2019 at 08:09 PM
  #5
I would say I peaked both personally and professionally at around 40. Had my first huge manic episode in 2005 at 41, and it has been all downhill from there.

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Default Feb 15, 2020 at 06:50 AM
  #6
I'm 43, so not quite as old as you yet, however, I don't feel any different to how I did when I was 21 and I don't expect to feel any different when I am 60. I am who I am right now and that's it.

I think your issue is your expectation of how a 53 year old should feel is different from the reality. Seems to me you're exactly where you should be on your life right now.
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