I'm obsessed with uniqueness

Have you ever had the feeling you're unique until you've found out that a lot of people is just like you?

I've been feeling disappointed lately. I've always thought I was kind of unique. I'm a pretty shy person. I'd rather watch a movie at home than going to parties. I like playing games. Sometimes I've even played a game so many times that I've set challenges or restrictions to make me feel I'm playing a different one. I like wearing geeky t-shirts, too. Moreover, English is not my native language but here I am, writing in English, and always willing to improve my language skills.

But which of the aforementioned things distinguishes me? I've found out that a lot of people (more than I thought) is like that. Don't take me wrong if you like doing anything I said. But I'm starting to obsess about it. I'm starting to see myself as a clone. I don't have any strong opinion about politics. I don't have a favorite music genre. I don't have a unique clothing style that doesn't make me belong to an urban tribe... It's sad, but I'm generic.


The worst thing is that I can't stop thinking about it. I'm at a point that I'm trying to find something I could change, something that I could improve... but I'm starting to change things just for the sake of change. Yesterday I made a physical change I'm not very proud of. And if you excuse me I'd rather not say what it is. Luckily it's not permanent. I liked it at first, but when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning... I was terrified. I realized I had a problem.

I'm writing this here to know other men's opinion about this. I'm not an adult, I'm in my twenties. So some of you might believe I'm too young to worry about this. But I'm afraid of not being able to change anything I should before it's too late.

You mentioned you're in your twenties. I'm in my 70's! I can (dimly) recall being concerned about my uniqueness when I was young. But as I've aged I've come to realize there's absolutely nothing about me that's unique... despite those who say things like everyone's unique. (Perhaps there is some uniqueness in the way one's individual collection of characteristics is different from everyone else's though?) There are probably 20 men, just in the city I live in, who have the same first & last name I do. One day in a restaurant, a while back, a guy came up to me, shook my hand, & said I look just like a friend of his.

In some ways this is a benefit. All of my life I've struggled with some mental health issues that caused me to feel I must be the only person in the world who was saddled with such weirdness. (I'll spare you the details.) Of course for most of my life there was no internet. So I was completely isolated with my weirdness. As I've spent time on the internet over the past few years, however, I've come to realize I'm not unique in my weirdness either. There are even internet forums with hundreds of members dedicated to them! (I wish I could have known that way back when I was young.) So, while the desire to be somehow unique can perhaps seem discouraging when one tries to find one's uniqueness & can't, the fact that in the end no one is truly unique can sometimes also be a benefit.

I think you are just finding out that you are a part of a community of people just like you. Go join them and talk to them. Then you will find you have similar interests and you can relate to other people. Then as you get to know them and make friends, you will find out that you are unqiue within this group!