I have been married 32 years.

I have been married 32 years. We have had serious issues and our marriage has been dysfunctional for some time in many ways. I’m responsible for the lion’s share of our problems due to poor decisions I made many years ago that I also was largely responsible for not getting properly resolved. One of the major mistakes I made was seeking external validation from my family and friends , which , of course has isolated her from these friends of mine and my family. Venting outside rather then within my marriage or to a therapist was an enormous mistake I regret

We live together separately in a generally disconnected state. We both came from unhealthy families and don’t want to break ours up. Our 3 children are grown and have moved away. All are doing well. I must admit I have been terrified about possible estrangement from my kids since our severe troubles began when they were young, about 14 years ago. She asked that I sign a post-nuptial agreement providing her with substantial financial assets if we divorced. I had legal counsel suggest I not sign this but did anyway, again terrified that I would be a part-time dad if I didn’t.
For any divorced men out there , was this fear present for you? Were any of you estranged from your grown children as a result of a divorce?

I still love my wife and truly wish I could have fixed this a long time ago, but have definitely failed thus far