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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2008
Posts: 1,156
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Dec 29, 2008 at 09:16 PM
#21
Quote:
Hey... you aren't alone. I come from a long line of abuse in my own family. I "divorced" my own alcoholic (actively, not in recovery) and emotionally abusive father last summer to set a clear boundary as to what is and is not acceptable toward me as I am an adult. I haven't heard from him since and hey, that's acceptable to me. I made a choice and I stand by it. Are you in therapy with a psychologist? It took me years to learn to deal with the physical and emotional abuse/neglect on both sides of my family. I still deal with it in a way, although with therapy it doesn't affect me as much. Talking about it is the first step. Silence kills the soul as it is denial--denial is deadly. Talking about it with empathetic, understanding, and intelligent people who have experience with such matters (either in a support group and/or private therapy) is the key to escaping the past. Oh yeah... I forgot to mention that I wasn't allowed to have any feelings/emotion that are separate from my family's when I was a child, and was not allowed to express anything that was my own emotion or thought. I was supposed to be seen and not heard. Yeah... that didn't work out well. I also recommend writing in a journal anything and everything you want. It really helps. If you do art or want to give that a go, you can draw pictures in your journal or take photographs that help you express feelings you cannot put into words. Be well.  You are not alone. Many of us here have the same problems.  Post here frequently. There is also a survivors of abuse thread that is really helpful.
__________________ --SIMCHA |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
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Dec 29, 2008 at 09:36 PM
#22
(((Simcha)))) replying now since i am off and on at different crazy times these days, thanks a lot for your words andcares, for identifying and understanding.. getting it out is really helpful and with the others on the forums we are creating a co-healing that i am enjoying very much
processing the emotions, even though i can function, are still anxiety producing experiences for me.. i use meditations, visualizations, prayer, inner dialogue, and several other methods to manage my plate... i could choose to make my plate less full but there is a thing in me thats hard to describe... its something like a life duty to someone i havent seen in a very long time... i wont stop, cant stop.. will keep writing and talking and connecting with better health until i am gone from here, after that, i dont worry cause i feel its right to do the best things im capable in this moment... i get tired like others and feel sad that the hope was an illusion, ive felt spent and torn and upside down too... whats my choice tho? quit? not a good option so i just keep going... Simcha, we dont do this work alone and we get little from anywhere that wasnt by way of someone somehow... thanks for being here
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 Simcha
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2008
Posts: 1,156
15 |
Dec 29, 2008 at 09:57 PM
#23
Quote:
Rainbows follow the darkest stormy days you know... Rainbows are also a reminder to me of a promise that I have not forgotten. Sunshine too, always follows darkness. These things I have not forgotten. Have you read Victor Frankl's "Mans Search for Meaning"? Heavy stuff, but a good one. __________________ --SIMCHA |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
21
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Dec 30, 2008 at 06:46 AM
#24
heavy doesnt scare me if the wording is enjoyable and pleasant... i may have read the one you refer to Simcha, to be honest, ive taken in so much media about my issues that there might have been some turning point back in my past where it was enough finally.. at times it feels like every book written on the topic is lodged somewhere in my brain, reference able by me, not categorized by author, but instead by subject.. a meaning of life, for life , about life... all means the same to me.. read it first if you must, but choose to live it at some point in your own way... best always to you my friend
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Account Suspended
Member Since Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
21
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Dec 30, 2008 at 07:34 AM
#25
an afterthought Simcha, yes, i have been and continue to do therapy in my own way, through the experience of life, applying what ive learned so far and creating caring, growing relationships with others to the best of my ability always, everywhere i go, in real life, and here (trying anyway).. a simple rule i follow is that 'everyone is my teacher'... sometimes that puts the other in a place of not wanting to be my teacher.. i need to accept that and move on.. as the student, in class or on the grass, i am always learning, always processing, always asking and always searching... the answers are always right before my eyes, it is often only a matter of being still, and listening.. best to you again
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DocClyde
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Posts: 768
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Jan 02, 2009 at 09:40 PM
#26
hi, nowhere
I find it interesting you posted here instead of survivers of abuse hope your step brother is riddled with guilt, as he should be whatever happend to his sister, poor thing 
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Account Suspended
Member Since Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
21
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Jan 05, 2009 at 04:54 AM
#27
im trying to tell the story as im able coral... the girl has grown, was married a while, divorced.. became involved in an assisted living center and learned many useful skills.. she has a job and her own house... she is something else.. still smiles and hugs and loves all... poor thing is kinda right coral, and a real survivor too... will have more to say later..
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