[salukigirl]

For the year that we have been dating I have been trying to pinpoint why we never resolve arguments and sometimes can fight for days at a time but then are awesome for a month and I think I have figured it out. I think he is narcissistic.

Here are some of the things he does that make me think this:
He has to exaggerate his accomplishments or himself. Like he says he knows everyone we pass whether he does or not. He tells me all the time how he has paid taxes since he was a baby because his grandma got him a CD or something when he was born for college. I have tried to tell him that 'he' was not paying taxes on it but he refuses.

He always points out that his superintendent is a college basketball ref. And if certain things were invented in his home town I hear it all the time. He always says that he went to a Luthern school as a kid no matter how many times I have heard it.

He will say that certain famous people are from his home town or a special event was held there. If I look it up and show him that he is wrong it doesn't matter. He will make something else up later.

It has gotten to the point that I don't really believe a lot of what he says when it sounds like he is just trying to sound important.

He has pretty much lost his social life. People talk to him at school all the time and always ask to go out but he never ever calls them or texts them. But when he does find someone to hang out with he latches on.

He is pretty negative in a lot of ways. I feel like he has a comment about everything. We can be watching tv and he will just randomly go "shut up" and change the channel like he is mad at the weather man?

I just don't get it. And whenever we argue I flat out say "you did this which made me insecure. I'm sorry I got jealous". But with him its always a mind game. And after a year I can read him like a friggen book. No matter what he is saying, I can look at him and tell what he is thinking but he turns it into a game. Never admits if he is jealous or insecure. Its like prying open a pickle jar to get him to say sorry even when he knows he is wrong.

Also, he says some pretty inappropriate things that I think most people over 13 know not to say. He knows the kind of things I have been through but will still make jokes about them. I feel like he isn't very empathetic towards others' suffering or pain. And I wear my heart on my sleeve so that is really hard for me.

Does this sound like narcissism?

[Perna]

Sounds like he's young and still trying to find his place and having a hard time. My middle stepson was that way, couldn't believe a word he said, my husband made it into a positive joke about me, said he kept me because I'm right at least 51% of the time (his son was not right very often :-) He did a lot of dumb things into his early/mid-20's, hanging out with friends he'd get speeding tickets (outstanding in 3 states) and wouldn't pay his bills, bounced a $10 check to a supermarket and when my husband finally got him to hand over all his money/pay and come see him each week and establish a budget, etc. he was worried about the $10 check first instead of the fact the police wanted him in 3 states :-) He just didn't get it. But now, he's happily married with the children and job he loves and doing well, one of the pillars of our family :-)

I think you're too smart, Salukigirl to be taken in by someone truly narcisstic for a year? Some guys don't grow up as fast as girls do?

[salukigirl]

Thanks Perna. Sometimes I forget that I overanalyze things and that I need to slow down a little.

[Ascension]

It sounds to me like he is drastically insecure about himself. That people won;t respect/like/love him the way he is. Or he could suffer from delusions of grandeur, but I think it's more the security thing. Striving to be perfect so others can't find fault in me was something I struggled with as a kid.... I never went that far and maybe I am transferring some, but that would be my guess. You must be a very patient person to be one of the few people to have not left him through this. Good luck with everything.