[kristen29]

My name is Kristen, and I have a problem. I'm not a psychiatrist, so I can't diagnose any illnesses, but I suspect a close family member is a narcissist. She never showed any emotional connection to me growing up; she didn't even tell me that I was smart or pretty, she never even told me that she loved me. She never taught me how to take care of myself, shaving my legs, washing up, or how to be a woman. She just bugged me about my period. I grew up feeling lonely, isolated, and depressed. I cut myself, and worse. I read about child abuse without really knowing why, and I skipped school from jr. high to halfway into high school. I warned her about a guy she was dating, but she fought me on it. Not only did he verbally and emotionally abuse me, but I nearly died because of him. When I told her what he did to me, she cried, asked me why I didn't tell her, and just walked away. No comfort, no show of love or caring. I broke down emotionally after that. I vowed to never trust anyone again. She takes her anger out on me, using tactics from silent treatments to treating my emotions like they don't exist. The good thing is, I have a loving man who sees right through her. I feel the only thing I can do is complete and total seperation-no contact whatsoever. I feel horrible, but I don't know what to do anymore...

[happy101]

The best thing to do is 1) cease contact with her till you gather your feeling, thoughts 2)dont tell her anything incase she manipulatres you to stay or blows up from anything you tell her 3)by ceasing contact , you will begin a journey on how to look after yourself. You must be and is the only most important person in the world.Then comes your loving man and others.The most important thing is to place you as the number one person. 4)Lastly after a long period of 6 months or so rhen you can evaluate if you still want 'her' in your life or you are happy to move on without her until such time 5)Until such time means : being able to set healthy boundaries, who knows how long this will take and if this will even work. Most people like her, can never learn so thats why you have to take the lead to love yourself and place yourseelf as number one.
This is what I have done and Im still in the healing journey.It makes me feel strong.Sometimes I dont know the extend of the power of the word 'choices' has given people.The true meaning and experience in so powerful- Im trying to prepare myself to embrace it fully....its great!

[kristen29]

Thank you, I will definetly work on that It's kinda hard because I live with her; financially I don't have much of a choice. I'm working on that part too. Ive been agonizing over this, but this is the right thing for me, so thanks

[zora1891]

Originally Posted by kristen29

Thank you, I will definetly work on that It's kinda hard because I live with her; financially I don't have much of a choice. I'm working on that part too. Ive been agonizing over this, but this is the right thing for me, so thanks

Feel blessed that you have the support of your partner. Support sometimes makes all the difference.

[kristen29]

Originally Posted by zora1891

Feel blessed that you have the support of your partner. Support sometimes makes all the difference.

i do, he's absolutely wonderful and patient thru this. His support is part of what's holding me up