I began this as a reply to another thread and realized it would probably be better to start a new one. We have to keep in mind that our thought process as much as many of us think is so great really is not. We are obviously not wired correctly and the ones who don't get us are the ones that are something more of the norm. The ways we can move on so easily, not understand others feelings or in fact really care of. We are people who truly only care about ourselves, we have fooled ourselves into believing that this makes us better than most. I have been dealing with my ways for nearly 40 years and just learning of my issues only in the last couple of years. To me for a long time this was just who I was and not a disorder. Truth be told because of carrying on for so long stuck with the same outlooks it has been imbedded into my brain so trying to change has many of times left me feeling with a "tornado in my head" to say the least. I can sit in a crowded room blank, interactions are far from normal. Because of who I am I watch people speaking to me as if their a window, looking through them but never seeing and especially not listening to them. Unless of course it is something I'm interested in or have a point to make. Normal people can look at something and see the good, bad and in-between. I look at things as what I believe to be true and that's all, I don't care about what others think. I understand the reasons why. We put ourselves on the so called high horse when in fact this is our mask, disagree and your fooling yourself. We are hurt, scared how we may be perceived and put so much effort into creating images for others to paint "our" picture as much so that it's really tiring and not heathy. A plan had been made for each of us and we were dealt with what we were. The past has passed and it has created a wronged structure for our present and future. To continue to believe we are of a greater people is to continue on the craziness we all have. As I age I have taken outlooks that are probably wrong. I don't see people as something I want to interact with. I am not comfortable around them more because I see most as full of crap. A world we live in full of lies from one another. Yes I know that the nice person talking to me at my kids school is so great and true!! Yeah right all the bs same old HS crap when you walk away the judgement they have and the talking to others about it. I think best case scenario would be for all people to show their true colors not only us. I believe that 99% of humans are full of crap. We here are ones that are great at hiding and masking. Great at exploiting others hurts and tearing them down in a way that hurts them for life. Many of us take a great pride in this but just remember our own issues as well and what made us so great at this.

I've been diagnosed with NPD traits but it's not something I feel is very strong in my life so I'm sorry if I'm intruding.

I tend to thing of people with NPD as borderlines that learned to hide it better. Not just from society but from themselves.

Where the person with BPD tends to act out the pain the narcissist takes it and buries it deep down inside and hides it behind a mask of self love but that mask is really hard to keep up when you don't really believe in it so other people are needed to 'feed' it.

Problem with that is (as ironic as this comparison is) people are like objects when it comes to their emotional endurance. If you continuously use them they are going to wear down. Just like a car engine and that's when we get the more obvious issues.

Maybe someone with NPD just needs to learn how to treat their 'toys' better. You want it to last treat it right.

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

I've been diagnosed with NPD traits but it's not something I feel is very strong in my life so I'm sorry if I'm intruding.

I tend to thing of people with NPD as borderlines that learned to hide it better. Not just from society but from themselves.

Where the person with BPD tends to act out the pain the narcissist takes it and buries it deep down inside and hides it behind a mask of self love but that mask is really hard to keep up when you don't really believe in it so other people are needed to 'feed' it.

Problem with that is (as ironic as this comparison is) people are like objects when it comes to their emotional endurance. If you continuously use them they are going to wear down. Just like a car engine and that's when we get the more obvious issues.

Maybe someone with NPD just needs to learn how to treat their 'toys' better. You want it to last treat it right.

Your right with what you say(for most of the part) but the last line is like telling a person with no arms to hand you the remote.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I tend to thing of people with NPD as borderlines that learned to hide it better. Not just from society but from themselves.

Good God I can feel the heat of the borderlines just reading that. Hahahaha.

Originally Posted by Underground

Your right with what you say(for most of the part) but the last line is like telling a person with no arms to hand you the remote.

How so? Are you not aware of what you're doing when you hurt people? I always assumed that narcissists were aware of what they were doing? Or not aware of the consequences?

I guess I tried to simplify it. You know if you start a car over and over again it's going to break down why doesn't the same apply with human interactions?

I know for me I tend to get caught up in the emotion of a situation and stop thinking of my actions/reactions it's not until some time later that I'm kinda sitting there going "well that was stupid."

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Good God I can feel the heat of the borderlines just reading that. Hahahaha.

I did think of that myself but eh. I consider us to be two sides of the same coin. BPD's didn't learn to control their emotions NPD's learned to over control. In the end we're all pretty conflicted individuals.

It does irk me to see a borderline lay blame at the feet of a narcissist in order to defend borderlines. You may not be 'that' borderline but not all of us are nice. There's a lot of broken people out there because of borderline personalities.

Having said that though. I may feel for other cluster B's that doesn't mean I want one in my life lol I think I may have already lost a relationship debacle with someone with slightly more narcissistic traits than me. Never again.

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

How so? Are you not aware of what you're doing when you hurt people? I always assumed that narcissists were aware of what they were doing? Or not aware of the consequences?

I myself don't sit there and consider how will I hurt someone unless it's a plan for a reason. Most of the time I think we are faulted for not seeing past the shades of grey. In other words we tend to have little or no filter at all. This in turn makes people think possibly that we are calculated when it comes to our actions/reactions when in fact it could be just what we are thinking(not holding back). I myself have never cared for others feelings so much that I have to worry what I say. It's nothing to do with consequences as what are they really? A person mad at me, upset or because I told them what I think. Is this wrong or calculated? Or is it just how we see it??

I guess I tried to simplify it. You know if you start a car over and over again it's going to break down why doesn't the same apply with human interactions?

This is why I lease cars. I could care less about maintenance because I get a new one every 3 years LOL just like a N!!!!

I know for me I tend to get caught up in the emotion of a situation and stop thinking of my actions/reactions it's not until some time later that I'm kinda sitting there going "well that was stupid."

I have never once considered what I said wrong until a year ago or so. You have the thoughts all wrong that we calculate the hurt at all times. When you have that emotion overcome you say things you don't mean then regret them later. Whenever I think I am right (which in the past was all the time) I always speak with emotion and that in turn is no holding back. However I do have a habit now to reconstruct my words minutes after I have said them to see the impact they have. Still learning how to hold them back all together but small steps lead to larger ones.


I did think of that myself but eh. I consider us to be two sides of the same coin. BPD's didn't learn to control their emotions NPD's learned to over control. In the end we're all pretty conflicted individuals.

NPD and BPD definitely share some traits, obviously we mask ourselves to seem much better. We don't cling to people in the same way yet we have our similar reasons for the end result. On the same page with that both make for disturbed people. We have been given a gift and our roads have been assembled for us. I think the better analogy is that it's not about changing direction on that road, I believe it's more about changing the scenery.

It does irk me to see a borderline lay blame at the feet of a narcissist in order to defend borderlines. You may not be 'that' borderline but not all of us are nice. There's a lot of broken people out there because of borderline personalities.

Having said that though. I may feel for other cluster B's that doesn't mean I want one in my life lol I think I may have already lost a relationship debacle with someone with slightly more narcissistic traits than me. Never again.

[QUOTE=BeteNoire;3790165]How so? Are you not aware of what you're doing when you hurt people? I always assumed that narcissists were aware of what they were doing? Or not aware of the consequences?

I think I understand a little better now.

I really was falling into that trap of just assuming narcissists are always calculating. Sorry.

Maybe you guys should consider making one of those "you know you are a ____ when..." boards.

Might help you guys connect better and you can avoid some stupid questions with pre-answers. lol

Good idea about the you know when your a narc when.
More for laughs though cause if you read through posts here many of us already have a great understanding of one another. Just proves how so any different people with the same titles have so much in common. Assuming is more of an issue which I suppose could be the definition of a trap!!! Glad you have a better understanding.

[glok]

I read to learn ... despite my shortcomings. Toys ... wear them out .... hurt ...

I got you, babe.

Oh, and I once was labeled a narcissist.

Todays though is to see underground everywhere