[joshuas-mommy]

How come narcissists are unable to realize that other people have vulnerabilities just like themselves? Additionally, they are not really attempting to look for other people whom are like themselves because they only scope out the potential friend arena in a superficial manner. This really is not helping them find anyone that they can relate to and/or empathize with. Furthermore, they are so easy to spot because they find it amusing that other people have personal inadequacies just like they do and the narcissist is unable to realize that this is why it satisfies their sadistic sense of humor.

How come no one ever tells the narcissists that they do not have to pretend like they are someone that they are not to make superficial friendships? I think that someone should tell them that it is better to have someone dislike you for who you are than to like you for someone you are not. That way they might attempt to find people that they can relate to and/or have similar ways of relating to the world around them.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Narcissists don't see that people have vulnerabilities because they are incapable of seeing their own. They exploit people's vulnerabilities but it is always debated whether Narcissists know what they are doing or not. It is the nature of their disorder. The superficiality, same thing. They are so self-centered because again it is the nature of their disorder that it is very hard for them to connect with someone on a deeper level.

A lack of empathy is seen by most as a hallmark of NPD. Again, it is the nature of their disorder. It's not that they don't care exactly, it's more like they are totally unaware of anyone's feelings because they are so wrapped up in themselves.

I've known quite a few narcissists, and only one of them was a sadist. But they are totally oblivious to how their actions affect others with few exceptions(that sadistic malignant Narcissist that is deceased now), again there is the NPD style of lacking empathy.

As to why nobody tells a Narcissist what you mentioned, frankly many people are intimidated by Narcissists or conversely some people are familiar with Narcissists and know better than to try and "get through" to them. Then of course there are the slew of people who try to "get through" to a Narcissist that is their romantic partner, parent, etc and they end up emotionally devastated because no matter what they say the Narcissist is oblivious and cannot see how they are hurting their children/partners/etc. Most Narcissists are not very self-aware. 99% of the time trying to talk some "sense" into a Narcissist is like talking to a brick wall. You are not going to get anywhere. Most people don't know how to handle Narcissists, I do but I realize most just don't because they haven't had as much experience with them as I have... that and I am not blindsided by emotions that most people have, so I can look at a Narcissist objectively. That helps a lot.

Like the reply atypical!! Now I am almost 40, and I always knew something wasn't right but lived up to the age at around 36 or 37 when I finally found out what my issue was. I never thought of myself as broken or disordered, rather unlike most. You also speak of how people just don't tell a narcissit like it is but do you really believe that all people are equipped to spot a person with npd??? I really don't think so and as a matter of fact most people will never even know what npd is. My ways are done in a way that makes me, me. Tactics are natural and may be the reason why people like me are considered so bad. Yes people here know of npd as we are all involved in this type of community. Ask a FREIND a coworker or even a stranger if they ever heard of npd and chances are they'll just say whats that? Not like BDP or aspd that's more spoken of and easier to notice. Npd is the true wolf dressed as granny!! Not seen till it's too late, and for the ones who believe they know when they meet one then that's because your dealing with low functioning narcissists. The top are good at what and who they are. Not because of anything other than this making them who they are.... The top of the food chain!! Just my Sunday morning thoughts...

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Underground

Like the reply atypical!! Now I am almost 40, and I always knew something wasn't right but lived up to the age at around 36 or 37 when I finally found out what my issue was. I never thought of myself as broken or disordered, rather unlike most. You also speak of how people just don't tell a narcissit like it is but do you really believe that all people are equipped to spot a person with npd??? I really don't think so and as a matter of fact most people will never even know what npd is. My ways are done in a way that makes me, me. Tactics are natural and may be the reason why people like me are considered so bad. Yes people here know of npd as we are all involved in this type of community. Ask a FREIND a coworker or even a stranger if they ever heard of npd and chances are they'll just say whats that? Not like BDP or aspd that's more spoken of and easier to notice. Npd is the true wolf dressed as granny!! Not seen till it's too late, and for the ones who believe they know when they meet one then that's because your dealing with low functioning narcissists. The top are good at what and who they are. Not because of anything other than this making them who they are.... The top of the food chain!! Just my Sunday morning thoughts...

You're welcome.

The underlined portion is right on point. Most people don't recognize they are dealing with a Narcissist until it's "too late". Narcissists, like Psychopaths, are ridiculously charming and charismatic.

I've noticed many people often will call someone a "sociopath" when really, it's a Narcissist they're in deep **** with (or have been in the past) but they don't understand what NPD is so the ASPD'ers get a lot of flack that belongs to the Narcissists, it makes me laugh.

Funny you mentioned low-functioning Narcissists. I think that's the case for Psychopaths as well, there are low functioning criminal Psychopaths that spend their lives in and out of jail(or in jail for life/on death row) and then there's someone like me who functions perfectly well in society. Oh how fun it is to climb to the top, I love the challenge.

the things we could do to change the world.... Just imagine ha ha ha ha

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Underground

the things we could do to change the world.... Just imagine ha ha ha ha

That could be a book. Or a song, The Narcissist and The Psychopath in b minor! HA HA HA.

[Fontaine Moore]

I think you would serve yourself well to learn a whole lot more about NPD. You're speaking of narcissists as if they are "normal" with the sensibilities of "normal" people. That is not the case and it's an exercise in futility to think it is. The more you understand NPD, the more you should be able to understand what is and is not possible or at least likely, in terms of relating to someone with this disorder. Of course they're human beings like everyone else, but their emotional reactions are NOT the same and you're setting both yourself and them up by approaching them as if they were. The better you understand this, the better off you will be in trying to relate to people with this condition. There are a number of good books by professionals about this disorder that should help you gain a better understanding. Good luck!