[crosstobear]

I don't know if anyone here is familiar with the philosophies of Sartre, Camus, Nietzche, Heidegger, etc... but I find it refreshing to think of ourselves outside psychology and psychiatry for once and imagine the world through the lenses of existentialism and phenomenology. Despite the bleakness and pessimism of the existentialist outlook on life, its focus on authenticity, acknowledgement of the human condition, and central thesis of making meaning and constant change are actually very optimistic and can be used to cope with a lot of psychological problems. The philosophy of existentialism posits three levels.

First, there is being, or existence. Also known as being-in-itself. Being is the baseline and exists without rhyme or reason, no justification. Think "I am that I am". Draw a mental diagram- being is the outer circle. Then, there is the negation of being- non-being, or being-for-itself. This is also known as consciousness. The reason it is a negation is because consciousness seeks to constantly negate and differentiate itself from existence. Become aware for a moment of your conscious experience. You are an observer- and your consciousness brings to light phenomena around you- your body, colors, objects, etc. In order for these parts, this screen, to be envisioned as existence, you must acknowledge and negate your conscious experience from the grander scheme of being in order to fulfill the role of an observer. Go back to your mental diagram, draw a circle inside being, and call it consciousness. The final component is phenomena. These are objects, events, things, that are apparent to our consciousness. Cars, other people, cups, chandeliers, dogs, roads, the town, etc. These objects do not exist in and of themselves but rather in relation to our consciousness. Without consciousness, they are not. They only are in relation to consciousness. So draw in your inner circle, objects and call them "phenomena".

Thus, consciousness is grounded in being or existence, which simply is, while phenomena or objects are grounded in consciousness and only exist in relation to it. Thus- time, space are not beings that exist, but rather parts of consciousness that exist in relation to it- more on this later. Likewise- words, the laws of physics, up, down, left, right, sounds, smells, shapes, colors everything we take for granted in this world- are contingent upon our consciousness and exists only in relation to it. An object viewed from multiple angles and at multiple distances exists in multiple ways in relation to the consciousness experiencing it, but without that consciousness, it doesn't exist, per se. Do a phenomenological exercise- pick a word (for example "boat") and say it multiple times, on and on. Eventually it loses its meaning and the absurdity of the word, the object, etc. comes to the fore. Enough thinking about the world and its objects and constructs will also reveal their absurdity and meaninglessness.

Consciousness does a funny thing. It judges- we as humans judge, and this is rooted in expectations and desires, which are rooted in lack, or non-being. A cake is not cooked- not in and of itself, but not cooked in relation to a consciousness that desires or expects for it to be cooked. This is because consciousness is a negation of being, it is a consistent striving to redefine, adapt, and evolve, which is predisposed to finding lack or non-being in the phenomena it experiences. Hence, we want what we can't have. When we get it, we want something else. Objects and phenomena are defined by what they are not, from a consciousness which expects or desires.

Why is this in the personality disorder forum? Because in seeking to create an identity, the human being is striving to differentiate him or herself from existence, and constantly striving to redefine itself. Existentialists posit there is no individual essence that is, only existence, which precedes the essence which the consciousness creates. Time and space, or temporality, don't exist in and of themselves, but are rather tools or languages consciousness uses to organize, dissect, and interpret existence. Thus, outside of consciousness, time and space do not exist, hence being-in-itself is not rooted in anything, but simply is.

Because existence precedes essence, one creates this essence (identity or meaning ascribed to oneself and life) over and over as he or she evolves and experiences new conditions, thus creating new desires and expectations, and thus assigning meaning to him or herself and the phenomena that are experienced. This, in the grand scheme means there is no such thing as true fulfillment and happiness, or an escape from emptiness or the void that many posit the personality disordered have in their psyches. It means that in order to live and avoid the great crime of suicide, one must acknowledge that the ideal is a bogus assumption in a frankly absurd world. It means recognizing the responsibility- the condemnation to be free, as Sartre put it- for one to define their world and themselves as they progress in life toward the inevitable death or oneness with being-in-itself. To essentially make meaning in every situation and take action (action defining the self and one's world) according to that meaning. This is explained in down-to-earth terms in Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" where he dissociates from daily camp life and begins thinking of a future where he is lecturing as a professor on the psychology of concentration camp life. He explains that this made the meaning he needed to take the actions necessary to preserve his life and dignity, which led to him acting humanely, patiently, and with purpose while other inmates were reduced to human animals and were conquered by the oppression of the extermination camp. It is also explained in Camus' "Myth of Sisyphus".

Existentialists posit that the world is irrational and meaningless to the point of absurdity- again, going back to the lack of justification, purpose, or reason that defines being-in-itself, or existence. It just is. In the Myth of Sisyphus, Camus depicts the Greek mythical figure that is condemned to rolling a rock up a mountain, only for it to roll down again and for him to push it up again. Faced with such a monotonous, prison-like existence, why doesn't Sisyphus kill himself? That is the fundamental question of being- to endure or to vanish, and for existentialists, suicide is the antithesis of the one existential goal of endurance and meaning-making. Hence, while we all have lives like Sisyphus- pointless, meaningless, mundane and full of suffering and pain, it is still possible to find meaning in these lives. In fact, it is imperative to live a meaningful life, because of temporality- we are given one life and death is inevitable, thus in light of our progression toward death, we must ask ourselves if we live meaningfully. Imagine Sisyphus singing Lady Gaga while rolling his rock up the mountain, or playing mental tic-tac-toe, talking to himself at length, talking to an imaginary friend, fixating on and studying the beauty of the mountains and trees around him, or simply alternating the path which he rolls the rock up the hill, or which arm he uses to roll it up. These are all attempts by which Sisyphus, through action, defines his meaningless life. He may even justify each push up the hill; this is how he makes meaning. This is the metaphor of the Sisyphean predicament of the human condition.

So do people really, truly "know themselves"? Do people have "identities"? Not in so far as static, immutable personalities go. It is true that much of our patterns of action are determined through attachments and events, developmental milestones, etc. But as adaptation machines and Sisypheans, we are constantly- inevitably- changing ourselves and our worlds through our changing desires, expectations, and meanings. This is rooted in the fact that our consciousness is a negation of being- as observers of this absurd and meaningless world, we MUST differentiate ourselves from what we see in order to make sense of it because it only exists in relation to us. Our identities, our "selves" change. You as an angsty 13 year old are not you as a 20-something, you as a married, child-rearing 30 something, you as a 50, 60, 80, etc something.

A fundamental part of the human condition is that we are engaged in this quixotic struggle for immortality and infinity- to achieve oneness with being or existence. To outlive our temporality. But this is impossible due to our role as negations of being. Thus, the emptiness we feel, the constant existential angst, the lack of true self, and the feeling of lack or abandonment are very natural parts of the human condition. It is by nature the definition of consciousness and negation of existence. Its just that different personalities cope with this existential angst in different ways- narcissists likewise.

Key to existentialism is the goal of achieving authenticity. Are you living true to yourself at the moment? Are you making your own meaning of the world? Defining things in accordance to your desires and expectations? Are you changing for yourself, according to yourself, or are you acting in "bad faith"? Bad faith is a term that existentialists use to describe learned helplessness and a self-consciousness which essentially posits that outside circumstances and people are in control of one's life. Acting authentically and taking responsibility means knowing that when a gun is held to your head by a robber, you still have a choice, and that choice has consequences, and should be made taking into consideration what you want. Take route A and give the man your money, hoping he will not shoot, or route B, attempt to push off his hand and perhaps be shot in the process. Either route you take, you made a choice and cannot say you were forced to. Authenticity means living for yourself and evolving, constantly ascribing meaning. Creating meaning. It is impossible to find meaning in a meaningless world and to find a true, static "this is who I am". It is however possible to redefine, evolve, and keep oneself moving along and living a meaningful life by creating meaning for oneself.

It's my argument that those of us with personality disorders or the traits of them were not given the security in attachment or care at the earliest ages where we come to terms with the void, the meaninglessness and lack of justification of existence. Thus, we had no proper defenses to construct a healthy, functioning way of keeping safe from existential despair and angst, and recognition of this is key to any therapeutic endeavor. At the end, this is an inevitable response to the human existential condition that the unprepared and unprotected child's mind makes when he or she is raised or exposed to conditions that prevent the healthy negotiation of existential angst.

Thoughts, let's please discuss.

[crosstobear]

Some good reads:

"Essays in Existentialism", "Being & Nothingness", "Existentialism & Humanism", "The Wall", "Nausea" by Jean-Paul Sartre

"The Myth of Sisyphus", "Resistance, Rebellion & Death", "The Rebel", "The Plague", "The Stranger", "A Happy Death", "Exile & The Kingdom" by Albert Camus

"Being & Time" by Martin Heidegger

"The Existentialist's Guide to Death, the Universe, & Nothingness", "How to Be an Existentialist: Or How to Get Real, Get a Grip, and Stop Making Excuses", "Sartre: A Guide for the Perplexed" by Gary Cox

"Thus Spake Zarathustra", "Beyond Good & Evil", "Will to Power", "The Gay Science", "The Antichrist", "Ecce Homo", "The Geneology of Morals", "Twilight of the Idols" by Friedrich Nietzche

"Existentialism: A Guide for the Perplexed" by Steven Earshaw

"Introducing Existentialism" by Richard Appignanesi

"Man's Search for Meaning", "The Will to Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

"The Sickness Unto Death", "The Concept of Anxiety", "The Concept of Dread", "Works of Love", "Fear & Trembling", by Soren Kierkegaard.