[leomama]

Here's one thing I resent: a certain type of person with BPD and their advocates promoting a false belief that all people with narcissistic traits are low in EQ. Some of us just refuse to pander to a certain BPD sensitivity or a certain emotional weakness even those without BPD exhibit.
One can have a high IQ & EQ at the same time.
My props go to those who have both and are able to monetize their intellectual gifts, on their own, without family support. I'd love to meet such a person.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I think it's pretty indicative of the sad state of affairs that something this basic had to be posted. I'm glad you did though.

[leomama]

Thank you. It's been irritating me lately. I'm not targeting all people with BPD , they are some really kind ones. I'm targeting those in denial of their own narcissism. The people with BPD on psych central tend to be fairly healthy , haven't had any problems with them at all.

[here today]

For me, for what it's worth from the perspective of OCPD mostly, I numbed out my emotions so my EQ didn't develop well and I depended on my IQ to compensate. But -- lack of EQ meant that I did all the coursework for a Ph.D in cognitive psychology (not clinical, but I can kind of read their literature) and then wasn't allowed by the major professor I had chosen to try to write a truly independent dissertation. No point in finishing the degree for me at that point, in mid-life (long story) so I quit.

I thought academia was one place where IQ alone would be sufficient and valued but it wasn't.

Now my social emotions are working somewhat better, I would like to try to develop some EQ skills -- I had told my last therapist that several times, had tried group therapy, etc. Not much help.

Most of the people with NPD that I've seen have EQ skills a lot better than me in many areas.

Do you think that it's possible that when people with BPD and NPD are in denial of their traits, that could be where major problems come in?

[leomama]

I do not know. I just know it is possible to have a high IQ & EQ. Just because I am told I am callused and insensitive by certain people with BPD doesn't mean I'm lacking in EQ. It means I don't care to pander to their weakness. It's a conscious choice on my part.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Denial just about destroyed me completely. Like, it just about indirectly caused me to physically die.

[redsoxrule]

[QUOTE=here today;5283836. Do you think that it's possible that when people with BPD and NPD are in denial of their traits, that could be where major problems come in?[/QUOTE]

From what I've witnessed, I would say it does create a majority of the major problems.

[leomama]

Can you clarify please Red Sox rule? What does?

[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by here today

For me, for what it's worth from the perspective of OCPD mostly, I numbed out my emotions so my EQ didn't develop well and I depended on my IQ to compensate. But -- lack of EQ meant that I did all the coursework for a Ph.D in cognitive psychology (not clinical, but I can kind of read their literature) and then wasn't allowed by the major professor I had chosen to try to write a truly independent dissertation. No point in finishing the degree for me at that point, in mid-life (long story) so I quit.

I thought academia was one place where IQ alone would be sufficient and valued but it wasn't.

Now my social emotions are working somewhat better, I would like to try to develop some EQ skills -- I had told my last therapist that several times, had tried group therapy, etc. Not much help.

Most of the people with NPD that I've seen have EQ skills a lot better than me in many areas.

Do you think that it's possible that when people with BPD and NPD are in denial of their traits, that could be where major problems come in?

Hi, I was a bit confused, if I may ask, when you quit, did you end up with a MS or MA? Just like talent, a high IQ is not enough unless you have the potential to be a big earner for an institution. Normally you are selected not only on your intelligence but on whether you fit in with their goals. And how well you personally get along within the inner circle is a great impotence.

As for BPD and NPD I think either way, whether they are in denial or not, it may not matter. If they are untreated, there will be damage. Just go to any relationship support/survivor group and that should answer your question about denial or not. damage is damage.

Since I am here & you went to university for psychology, what you think about DID? Do you think people that either have this or dissociate within PTSD, are unable to address emotion in a conscious state? And by dissociating create a "space" for these emotions to be expressed?

I had 2 cats, one liked catnip, the other did not and would get angry when the other cat was in rapture. The 2nd cat thought he was missing out on something; no rectors. You say you have low EQ is it possible like the second cat you are unable to access the programming necessary to perceive? Just a question. For myself I am being habituated in some areas of emotion, but that is another topic.

[here today]

Hi, I did complete the M.A. psychology, did a thesis, and then took the additional coursework for the Ph.D. but did not complete a general exam or dissertation.

Because of my (untreated, though I had been in therapy) deficits, I was unable to understand the social/political realities of being a graduate student in psychology at my university at the time I was a student there.

In my experience, dissociated emotions did/do/have their own "space". I had a possibly interesting experience with my now ex-T in which I was (voluntarily, it's a long story) acting from or "in" one of my at that time known "alters" and I later became aware that "she" did not have access to "higher brain function". I can (usually) be very abstract. This "part" of me did not, still sometime does not, have access to that, wasn't a part of (the whole/usual) me in that sense. Like your second cat, maybe.

I was diagnosed by my (now) ex-T 6 years ago with DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). The DSM has changed and that diagnosis is no longer in it. What I can say is that it's like I have/had "alters" but they are/were not fully autonomous personalities. There is a constant "I" which does not go away, unlike in DID.

I like your term "habituated". I have used the term "habilitated" as opposed to "re-habilitated" to describe, mostly to myself, what it is that I believe I need now that some emotions/motivations are "unfrozen". My ex-T was a specialist in trauma and knew how to treat that, I think -- just not the PD/sense of self issues.

What do you mean by "habituated"? What forum do you think that might fit in?

[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by here today

Hi, I did complete the M.A. psychology, did a thesis, and then took the additional coursework for the Ph.D. but did not complete a general exam or dissertation.

Because of my (untreated, though I had been in therapy) deficits, I was unable to understand the social/political realities of being a graduate student in psychology at my university at the time I was a student there.

In my experience, dissociated emotions did/do/have their own "space". I had a possibly interesting experience with my now ex-T in which I was (voluntarily, it's a long story) acting from or "in" one of my at that time known "alters" and I later became aware that "she" did not have access to "higher brain function". I can (usually) be very abstract. This "part" of me did not, still sometime does not, have access to that, wasn't a part of (the whole/usual) me in that sense. Like your second cat, maybe.

I was diagnosed by my (now) ex-T 6 years ago with DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). The DSM has changed and that diagnosis is no longer in it. What I can say is that it's like I have/had "alters" but they are/were not fully autonomous personalities. There is a constant "I" which does not go away, unlike in DID.

I like your term "habituated". I have used the term "habilitated" as opposed to "re-habilitated" to describe, mostly to myself, what it is that I believe I need now that some emotions/motivations are "unfrozen". My ex-T was a specialist in trauma and knew how to treat that, I think -- just not the PD/sense of self issues.

What do you mean by "habituated"? What forum do you think that might fit in?

You used the word space and the I add the word time as both are a problem for me as I sometimes have trouble communicating where I am at. Past, present or future. It appears there is both a cognitive and disassociative relationship in my case.

I use habituated instead of the phrase "missing information" which I use to use. So instead of restoring something to back to an original state. To habituate is to learn something new. As to what forum that belongs in I do not know. I do know my emotions in some cases were missing or just dormant for the lack of a better word, and had not been activated before certain events occurred.. I say activated because in the last four years a couple significant ones were activated for the first time and were very difficult to manage. And caused a lot of hell as I had no experience in handling them. This in combination with a few on going problems combined and brought on a slew of major disassociation episodes.

we could talk about disassociating in another forum, it is something I am working on currently. I will just say I have not disassociated for 7-8 weeks and glad I am of that.

I had my own education encounters which were challenging yet eventually resolved itself with a lot of work, there was no joy in it and that is an understatement.

[here today]

Since this is the NPD forum I would like to say I feel a little put down by some of your comments. Doesn't matter where the "fault" lies -- the way I respond to what you have said is equally an issue, but that's not really what I'm talking about. I (currently) have a thin skin or weak ego. Your comments are nothing I can't handle, but do you have any interest in discussing what it was I felt put down by? Could give you information about how I tend to respond to things, if you are interested in that kind of thing. And it would give me some practice staying in my own "skin", I think -- which is something that I need "habituation" or "habilitation" for.

I'd be interested in any feedback you feel you want to share about how I am coming across to you, too.

Does that make sense? I cognitively kind of "know" all my parts now and have been liking, accepting, and even respecting the "I'm great" and "If you hurt me I'll hurt you back" motives. So the challenge now, I think, is to have them all included in a "skin" -- people used to talk about ego as a psychological skin and that concept rings true with my current experience. Didn't when I was rigid and OCPD-ish -- I had what was more like a fort, built on only part of me or something.

[redsoxrule]

Originally Posted by leomama

Can you clarify please Red Sox rule? What does?

Was referring to the part in here today's post about people with BPD and NPD. That being in denial of their traits may lead to some of the major issues faced.

[leomama]

Thank you. This thread has totally gone off topic so I'm going to drop out of the discussion.

[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by here today

Since this is the NPD forum I would like to say I feel a little put down by some of your comments. Doesn't matter where the "fault" lies -- the way I respond to what you have said is equally an issue, but that's not really what I'm talking about. I (currently) have a thin skin or weak ego. Your comments are nothing I can't handle, but do you have any interest in discussing what it was I felt put down by? Could give you information about how I tend to respond to things, if you are interested in that kind of thing. And it would give me some practice staying in my own "skin", I think -- which is something that I need "habituation" or "habilitation" for.

I'd be interested in any feedback you feel you want to share about how I am coming across to you, too.

Does that make sense? I cognitively kind of "know" all my parts now and have been liking, accepting, and even respecting the "I'm great" and "If you hurt me I'll hurt you back" motives. So the challenge now, I think, is to have them all included in a "skin" -- people used to talk about ego as a psychological skin and that concept rings true with my current experience. Didn't when I was rigid and OCPD-ish -- I had what was more like a fort, built on only part of me or something.

Hi, Yes this is a NPD thread & forum. I do not understand your reference to a put down. I was not aware that was what I was doing. So yes please tell me what you are you are experiencing. I am interested. Thank you.