We've all heard of this story but here you see it's much different. It's actually quite the opposite. Many times people come here as a sheep but trying to convince everyone that they are the wolf. Bruised ego's, false leads and so on. Portraying an image that is not real life I suppose gives oneself true meaning. Sad isn't it? To have to show strength in a place that is the only place in their entire lives that they can? I couldn't imagine this but I guess some don't have a choice. I get it though, I will take the higher ground and let them have their moment. I have shown great empathy in doing so. And they say one cannot do this with NPD. Guess what, I just did.
Yours truly,
Sir Underground

[here today]

They don't get it. They don't have empathy for narcissists because they are ashamed of or have disowned their own narcissistic tendencies.

How can one have empathy for experiences that one doesn't have or own? People without NPD seldom seem to have any empathy for people WITH NPD. Why does that happen, I wonder?

It seems to me that you have consistently shown empathy for other people's narcissism. Which, I would argue, we all -- or mostly all, except for people with some other kind of disorder, maybe -- have.

And back to why I post comments from "experts" -- because some of them, anyway, support this kind of MY opinion!

[Atypical_Disaster]

Narcissism is a highly misunderstood subject regardless of where it's being discussed.

I don't know that people who come around here *want* to be narcissists necessarily(though I am sure that is the case sometimes for reasons that escape me). I think for the most part it's the fact that people want answers, and most people have only a very basic grasp of what narcissism is(most people simply think it means you're self centered and in love with yourself), so naturally that leads to people convinced they're narcissists based on *what they think narcissism is*. I think it's why people can get so defensive, they don't understand and that alone isn't their fault.

I think that you even talking about empathy shows that you've made some progress. Sure it may not be what the "normal" people think progress should be but I see it.

Dr. Disaster

[here today]

Originally Posted by Underground

We've all heard of this story but here you see it's much different. It's actually quite the opposite. Many times people come here as a sheep but trying to convince everyone that they are the wolf. Bruised ego's, false leads and so on. Portraying an image that is not real life I suppose gives oneself true meaning. Sad isn't it? To have to show strength in a place that is the only place in their entire lives that they can? I couldn't imagine this but I guess some don't have a choice. I get it though, I will take the higher ground and let them have their moment. I have shown great empathy in doing so. And they say one cannot do this with NPD. Guess what, I just did.
Yours truly,
Sir Underground

I'm sometimes kind of dense, socially. Were you talking about anybody in particular? My reply was about the usual kinds of people that come here to take potshots at narcissists, not other people struggling with their own traits.

We all understand things from such different, personal perspectives sometimes. Even what we mean by "narcissism" may be different.

I still would like to talk about "narcissistic injury", what that is and what it means, etc., if anybody else is prone to enjoy theory and different points of view. It CAN be a way to "rise above", though a lot of theorists get narcissistically attached to their theories, so that doesn't always work either!! In any event, I prefer to discuss disagreements face to face, even though it can get uncomfortable at times. But that's just me!

[leomama]

Good catch here today. Rather then focus on who may or may not be here or why they may or may not be here, we supposedly are supposed to be focusing on supporting each other.

[leomama]

I can do a part 2 thread on narcissistic injury, looking at it from both sides of the coin. I think narcissism is learned behavior, that's for sure. However since the whole context of the thread is not dealing with me, it would probably be better suited for another forum. My narcissism now centers around not being willing to listen to those who aren't as quick as me and since the cultural climate is now all about the lowest common denominator, well, narcissists are an endangered species

[leomama]

*when I say the whole context of the thread, I meant the narcissistic injury thread, as it was about how not to cause narcissistic injury in our loved ones. (Still can't edit my posts until they post, sorry for the double post).

[here today]

I had wanted to change the focus to a more "theoretical" point of view -- I've been around a long time and the term "narcissistic injury" used to mean something else, coming from the clinical psychology of the time, not the pop psych way the term is used now.

Not so much because I didn't want to support you in your struggles but I, personally, get triggered when people are flinging out blame on parents. It's common, nobody means anything about it these days, but I still get triggered. Long story. A "narcissistic injury" on my part, I guess.

So, anyway, I had posted a recent article that described "narcissistic injury" as I had understood it from long ago. Still valid clinically, I think, and maybe helpful? Here's a shorter quote from that article:

Someone says or does something that hurts deeply. You feel unseen, betrayed, invalidated, or simply criticized. You may feel it’s unfair or that you deserve it. Either way, you are having a tough time recovering.

It eats at you. The hurt somehow sticks. You feel ashamed that you can’t just let it go. Or respond in a healthy way. So you either nurse the wound privately, or you lash back in an over-reaction.

This is the Narcissistic Injury.
It’s common – and you need not be a Narcissist to feel its sting.

Does this idea have any interest to you? It's a way to discuss hurt, I think, not so just the hurtful person.

And even though it came from trying to understand my "fractured" personality, I think the two "narcissistic motives"" "I'm great!" and "If you hurt me I'll hurt you back" may go into the dynamics of what happens for many people generally. Most folks, it's probably automatic. Because mine was split off, I had to try to learn about it and accept it consciously..

I don't want come off as a know-it-all, but would you like me to give you an example of how that might help with the situation with guy with the "I statements"? (Your mother and father are an entirely different story, lots of accumulated hurt there, sounds like.)

[leomama]

I am not blaming anyone. I am saying I love my father and I want to communicate in a way that doesn't trigger him. I don't have a problem with narcissistic injury. My problem is people who are slower then me: listening to them.

[leomama]

Just saw the second part. The other situation is far more complicated and has to do with other part of me as well as his issues, and definitely not appropriate for this thread or even this forum. I appreciate you taking an interest though and if I do decide to write about it in another forum I'll let you know. Thank you for the conversation.

Is narc injury something that is caused by more than a few comments?

If you don't mind me asking.

And btw, I am neither a sheep nor a wolf. More of a coyote. Somewhere in the middle, depending on where my bipolar mood takes me.

[here today]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Is narc injury something that is caused by more than a few comments?
. . .

Yes, I think so. But I don't know a lot about it.