[leomama]

In my experience narcissism is not a piece of myself to cut off and dispose of at will. It is the direction I head in without therapy. It was the behavior that was modeled for me as a child.

Sure, it feels good to indulge in narcissism as long as you're comfortable and your needs are being met. Once you have to fend for yourself it's not such a pleasant experience. Narcissism offends people and pushes them away and without some kind of familial or relational support the narcissist can not exist. I would say the narcissist functions because they are enabled by others.

It is really painful to have to discipline oneself out of narcissism but I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I do know people that have been abused by narcissists and getting them to move out of victimhood is really hard work.

Narcissism is not a good thing, it's not something to be proud of, it's a weakness we all have if we're in this forum.

[Atypical_Disaster]

"As an orientation"... that is a brilliant way to put it and I'm so texting that to my therapist, she'd appreciate that one and might help a communication problem the two of us are having right now. Narcissism isn't my "orientation" as it were but something else, and I think if I use that word with my therapist I might be able to solve the problem.

This poses a good question for a lot of people who come around these forums. Which direction does inertia pull you in when you're not doing the work to stop it?

What you wrote here reminds me of comfort zones. People can and do find comfort in their dysfunction, that's especially true of PDs which is part of the reason I think they're so resistant to change. Even if said comfort zone can be ruinous and painful, it's still familiar. I'm not excusing anything, it's just my observation.

Pathological narcissism is never a good thing. And I've noticed just how much narcissists rely on flying monkeys, I think they rely on those possibly more than any other cluster b disorder.

As far as my narcissistic traits go, I also consider myself lucky.

[leomama]

Exactly. I know which direction I veer towards and the people who knew me prior to my treatment would tell you the same. Narcissism is an ugly disorder, it makes one a target.
I hope that you and your therapist are able to make some progress.
Thank you for replying .

[Atypical_Disaster]

I hear you. I know what direction I go, all too well, as does anyone that knows me well. I've had a very hard time getting competent treatment, but my current therapist seems to have a clue(she really helped me out earlier this morning but that's a topic for another forum).

Narcissism is not nice, there's no sugar coating it. My narcissistic traits can easily make a monster out of me and definitely have in the past. I'm not proud of it, at all.

Thank you for the well wishes and you're welcome.

[leomama]

The other half of my problematic orientation is BPD traits like emotional volatility. My mind veers towards narcissism and my emotions veer towards borderline and I'm bringing both back to the middle . Then there's my PTSD which is much more predominant in my psyche, it's the hard shell. It's no wonder I don't read as a normal or typical narcissist . If I post about the emotional part in the BPD forum I hope you join me.