[gadgeteer]

Hi everyone. I hope more than people whom have been subjugated by narcissists come through here, since it'd be nice to interact with others that struggle with the same personality disorder and approach our condition constructively and also contemplate the occurrences -- both hereditary and environmental -- that were conducive to our development of NPD. As for myself, I am a 29 year old whose finally accepted having NPD (specifically Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder.) To both my fellow peers with NPD and to those whom come here to inquire and share their experiences with those in their lives whom have NPD, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Welcome, this forum is dead right now but I come by here at least once a week.

[wordshaker]

I guess on the NPD spectrum, you're a bit unusual, and more open to change than most. Hope you find support and insight!

[plzmakeitstop]

I'm glad you're on here, I recently found out i probably have NPD, and it's really scary trying to get informed what you have to do about it, because there's loads of literature on how to handle a narcissist, but not what to do if you ARE one yourself. I came on here because I wanted to get some insight on my worst symptoms. I go to a counselor once a week, but I can't really open up to her, I just keep slipping into my more appropriate "social" persona, and so I don't know if she really knows what's really wrong with me.

Anyway, I won't go on and on, but I have issues with compulsively talking for hours, and basically having attention getting "tantrums" at home when someone has to criticize me, complete with hysterical screaming and crying. I've had this for a few years, and it just won't go away, and I can't seem to make it.

I also have this thing where I can't seem to be myself when I'm insecure/stressed, I just start to subconsciously mimic my abusive, arrogant, awkward relatives. It makes me really self conscious, and when it happens, I have to fight back the hysteria (I lost that battle tonight. Big time.) It just feels like no one else knows what that feels like to feel disgusting and repulsive, and not in a "forget them, if they don't like you that's their problem!" way... If I were them I would think I was repulsive too.

Anyway, thanks for listening - tonight I just begged God to let me die for ages, because I just feel like I can't face another day with that mimicking and the way I can't stop that crying, so it helps to know someone else might understand what I'm going through a bit.

[Steiger]

Welcome! I'm relatively new here myself and embrace the same desire to converse with those of like mind. Well said. Your articulation is a breath of fresh air. I don't bother with all the labeling but can guarantee a productive and insightful conversation if you'd care to entertain the idea. Cheers to godliness!

[NothingPeopleDo]

I have been here for quite some time now. I used to frequent this area much more often but due to inactivity and life I have not been here as I once once was. I am the writer formally known as "Sir Underground"!! Probably doesn't mean much to most here but some do know who I am. Finding this forum was very helpful for me. A place where I met like minded individuals, so much so that it was scary, helpful and made sense. The beginning of knowing what I was, was the most difficult time. A person who prides themselves on being top seeing that they were tarnished by a "disorder" was mind numbing. I do admit that I took many things and people as a joke (self entertainment is my strong suit) and in doing that did not help me much other than amuse myself. Bottom line is people here can help, if you ask the right questions you will get replies that will wow you. Having someone truly understand what you think, feel, see and so on is priceless. Welcome to all the new titles here and a big hello to my old friends as it has been a while. I am sorry to the ones I tried to be better than and look forward to my eternal change which is constantly evolving. Welcome back me.

All the best,
NothingPeopleDo
AKA Underground