[Prozac1964]

Hi everyone, I have a question. My girlfriend is a narcissist and while she treats me negatively most of the time, I noticed something that made me curious. She has 2 friends, one male and one female. These are her closest friends, and they are happy all the time around my narcissist girlfriend.

Is it possible for a narcissist to treat their partner like crap and still have great happy relationships with her 2 best friends? They are not mutual friends, but when she is with them, and they take photos with their phones, they are all very happy and smiling. Why doesn't she treat them badly like she treats me? It would seem all the same narcissistic traits would be in full effect with her friends , but they are not.

I just think it's interesting when she spends time with me, she is always frowning, negative and in a bad mood. Of course she is doing all the standard narcissist stuff with me. But with her friends everything is awesome. Does anyone know why this is?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Yes it's possible. What better way to drive you crazy than to treat you like **** behind closed doors and then treat everyone else far better?

She doesn't treat them badly because they aren't her targets or her primary source of supply. You are both of those things.

It's really that simple.

[Prozac1964]

thank you so much! that's enlightening .... very. thanks

[Fractured Infant]

I agree 100% with AD. In my case I think I hide my narcissistic tendencies very well from others, it drove my wife crazy. Everyone thinks I'm such a nice guy yet I am so mean to her. It is because the relationships are different, you are her main source of support for giving her what she needs, what she is missing and instead of working to get it has stolen from you. If her friends upset her it may be easier for her to let it go than to push it. This can be justified away in her mind. It's always about getting what we want and protecting our ego. With friends who I don't see on a daily basis, especially if the events are planned and organized ahead, it is easy for things to go very smooth and for everyone to have a great time and think I am the nicest guy ever. It's a fake representation of myself.
We are very good at reading people and manipulating them. I am often surprised that people don't pick up on my manipulation but they rarely do.
My wife got to the point where she didn't want her friends to meet me. She said I would always try to take over her friends (I did, it's always about me, it's so awkward unless it is), and then make her friends hate her. She said it felt like a competition where I had to have her friends like me more than her. She was right. Well I've done it again, turned this into another opportunity to talk about myself lol.

[NothingPeopleDo]

I guess I may be a little different. My wife doesn't want me around her friends ever not because she's worried that I will try to take them but more that I can be an a$$hole and treat them not as expected as one should. Apples to oranges I suppose.

Better question may be should you stay with someone who treats you this way and her friends so great????

[Fuzzybear]

Yes, I believe it can be possible.