[ASeekerErrant]

Hello!
Although we all know how much a self-diagnosis is worth, I've recently come to realise that I'm likely a narcissist, using those around me to satisfy my need for attention, affection and validation, while incapable of doing the same for them. My identity consists of a set of labels I've chosen for myself and react with denial or anger when they are challenged. I lack not only empathy, but even the ability to take interest in something that doesn't involve me.(Like being told a childhood story by a friend, and only feeling anxious because my own childhod was uneventful and I have nothing interesting to respond with, which makes me a boring person.). I get mad at people simply for having different beliefs/values, having trouble accepting their individuality. In conversation, I tend to either boast or self-deprecate to get pity, and the list goes on.

Now, that I've identified the problematic behaviour, I notice many parallels with my eatig habits- a tendency to overindulge, untill I get hurt, then watch myself for a while until the cravings get the better of me and another binge ensues. Based on that observation, I decided that, since I can't be trusted with satisfying my basic needs, I must limit my "intake" to the absolute minimum necessary to function. It worked with food, allowing me to advance from a fat pig to just a pig, so a simillar approach should work with attention, preventing me from doing stupid things and abusing others.
In an attempt to "contain" my exploitative tendencies I distanced myself from everyone I could, and have been doing a decent job of maintaining that isolation for several months now. The problem is, that people, are getting worried and trying to reach out, which is a strong temptation. To make matters worse, I've been getting thoughts that accepting their " help" would be best for me, and that I can be made into a functioning human being, along with brief fantasies of an "intervention". I realise that it's just a way of talking myself into slipping up, but I fear I'll believe my own lies eventually, as it's happened before(though the previous cycle was based on a false belief from the start).
How do I make this "purging" period last? I will be seeing these people regularly for the forseeable future, so drastic masures of chasing them off are out of the question.
Also, how do I know the whole operation isn't just a massive stunt to get them to throw me a pity party? I honestly can't trust myself in the matter of my own motives.

Thank you in advance.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Errant: I'm sorry I don't believe I have the answers you seek. However I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!

I don't know if you're here simply seeking suggestions related to this particular concern, or if you plan to continue on with us. Assuming you plan to stay with us though (we hope you do), may I suggest you introduce yourself over on our New Members Introductions forum?
Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

My best wishes to you...