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Member Since Feb 2021
Location: sister's house
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#101
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RoxanneToto
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New Member
Member Since Feb 2021
Location: sister's house
Posts: 6
3 |
#102
I am the narcissist. I victimized my spouse for decades. i need help, I want help!! But mainly what I read is compassion for the "victim" and rightly so! But does the victimizer "get thrown away?" Is there no help and compassion for the victimizer? Where does one turn?
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New Member
Member Since Feb 2021
Location: sister's house
Posts: 6
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#103
Griffy2, I too am probably a "narcissist". There isn't much "sympathy" for the victimizers, (seems like all the commentators prefer to express sympathy for the victims and ignore the victimizers even the ones who are remorseful and seeking to change). I wish you well. I know I have made my spouse's life miserable which i can't change what I have done but i have suffered as a result of this "behavior". To drive away people who mattered to me, opportunities lost, jobs lost, and just recently a long time friend who I confided in as to why I am in a home less shelter didn't return my call(?). I feel like my life was "ripped off" by circumstances which I had no control of. I am in pain.
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: On a raindrop far, far away
Posts: 871
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#104
Yes, indeed, this is a forum for victims, but also for people suffering from aflictions that are caused by causes unrelated to victimhood. The problem with NPD and ASPD is of course the emotionally somewhat shallow side of things and indeed the victimization. Which is why I think there should be a seperate space for this on this forum. But then again, there was on psychforums and they closed theirs. I don't really know why, but I suspect it is not terribly easy to find moderators willing to handle these type of forums in a reliable manner.
That being said, I don't see why this forum shouldn't be used to help victimizers, too. There ought to be some guidelines of course, such as not to purposfully troll others or such. |
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Fuzzybear, MuseumGhost
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,257
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#105
It's such a shame this thread has never historically gotten more helpful responses. I am certain there are many members here who, if they knew this, would make themselves available with replies and support for those with so many unanswered questions.
Whether you've recently received a diagnosis for a type of NPD, or suspect there is a person close to you who has this disorder and has affected your life profoundly, and you are looking for more help with it all, please know that: -These forums used to be hugely busy, and many people signed-up every day. There were many posters, and people came and went with a fair amount of frequency. Things are different now, and there are not as many users as there used to be---but the veterans who remain are largely very helpful (where they can be) and genuinely supportive folks. -Please keep in mind that MOST people here are suffering from their own mental health issues, and could also be here seeking help with a situation of their own. They might not have many answers to offer, as NPD happens to be difficult to detect in so many instances; and it can also take a long time before someone realizes what they're actually dealing with. -People's situations can be complex, they've been deeply affected by it all over time; and these things make it hard to discuss, as so much has happened in their lives. Please, if this ever picks-up again, remember to remain kind, and enlightened. More help, here: What Is Narcissism and What Causes It? Helpful info from Psych Central There's a lot there...and there are links on that page you can follow to learn more. |
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TishaBuv
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Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,257
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#106
P.S.- I am on my own path, learning more and working to heal from some profound familial and relational Narcissistic abuse. I've been working on these issues for a little over 20 years, as I strongly suspect it was a range of this abuse from various people in my life that contributed to my own diagnosis of Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety.
It's been mentioned in some of the response posts that it can take a long time to realize what's been happening to you. Even with knowledge of the subject, it can take a fair amount of time to wrap your head around exactly what happened. Give yourself time to heal! And, for sufferers: You know what you need to do. See a therapist and try your best to change the patterns in your life. And, if at all possible, try and make amends to the people who've also been profoundly affected by your condition. |
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AliceKate, Fuzzybear
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AliceKate, Fuzzybear
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Member Since Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 307
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#107
The link in the 2nd, pinned closed post about the location/thread where family members can get support for a narcissistic person doesn't work. Where is that thread please? Thank you.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,064
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#108
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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