[Reina-Rena]

Like I have stated in one of my previous post, I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. Im am currently 16 years old and I have been with him since I was 13. We have a long-distance relationship. When we first started going out, he would discribe himself to me-What he looked like, his hobbies, ext...Then something really weird happend.

One day when I was ridding the bus, I noticed a guy. He looked like how my boyfriend discribed himself! He began to talk to me, and we soon became friends. I knew of course that he was not my boyfriend, although with him looking and acting like my boyfriend, I was a little shy. The only reason why I thought he was cute in the first place was because he looked like my boyfriend. I know it sounds a little weird, but it was kind of like being with my boyfriend in a way-just sitting and talking (I never did anything with this boy! We were just friends!) It felt as though it filled the absence of my boyfriend not being here. I remember I would want to hurry and get to school so I could just look at him and talk to him-because he reminded me so much of my boyfriend! Sometimes I would think about him whenever my boyfriend and I were fighting, and I really regret it. He did like me in a way more than a friend, but I told him no because I had a boyfriend. I once told my friends that the only way I would go out with him was if I wasn't going out with my boyfriend, and I really regret saying that also.

Lately, I have really been regretting the fact that I was friends with this boy. (We are not friends now, really long story.) Even though I never did anything with him, I still feel like I cheated on my boyfriend somehow. I told my boyfriend about this and he wasn't mad, I mean we were only friends. I have this 'High Moral' issue that eats away at me alot! Where I have OCD, my mind makes me think that I have done actions that I have not. I even had my mom call this boy and ask him personally if we did anything that could be considered cheating. Here is what he said:

"No, she never did anything that could be considered cheating. I know she loves her boyfriend. The reason why I didn't try harder to get her was because she loved her boyfriend so much."

I just can't help but feel like I cheated on my boyfriend somehow, can someone please help?

[FooZe]

Just one quick question, Reina-Rena (then I need to go):

Have you ever found that worrying a lot about one thing (maybe something nice and specific) helps keep your mind off other things that, maybe, are harder to get any kind of handle on? Maybe because you haven't thought much about them before so they're still pretty vague for you, or you're uncomfortable thinking about them and you'd rather worry about "the devil you know"?

I'm repeating (kind of) something that I wrote earlier in another topic. I don't know if you happened to see it:

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

Back when I was seriously trying to be perfect, I found that I often did get quite anxious if I didn't have something to keep me busy. A little later I started to notice myself regularly making plans that required me to be places at exact times, then managing to fall just far enough behind schedule so that I was constantly rushing -- fighting traffic or whatever -- to get there. It took me a while to notice that whenever I was busy enough (whether meticulously following rules or fighting traffic), I didn't have much attention on whatever I was worried about at the moment, that I didn't feel ready to deal with.

(OK, it looks like I lied -- I do have more to say! lol)

This is about how you and your boyfriend communicate, sure -- but I was thinking it might also be about what kinds of things you are and aren't into thinking about.

For me (and maybe for some others here) it feels kind of jarring to see you so ready to think the worst of yourself. "Lordy! That Reina-Rena seems like such a nice person, what's she calling herself names like that for?" But of course if that's what you're doing, that's what you're doing and I, for one, would be happy to stick around as you continue to find out what that's about for you.

[Reina-Rena]

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

Have you ever found that worrying a lot about one thing (maybe something nice and specific) helps keep your mind off other things that, maybe, are harder to get any kind of handle on? Maybe because you haven't thought much about them before so they're still pretty vague for you, or you're uncomfortable thinking about them and you'd rather worry about "the devil you know"?

Whenever I think about the things that bother me, I do sometimes try to think of something positive instead. Although, when I do try to think of something positive, that bad thought lingers...My minds says "Don't think about this bad thought..." And when you tell yourself not to think of something, you end up thinking of it.

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

This is about how you and your boyfriend communicate, sure -- but I was thinking it might also be about what kinds of things you are and aren't into thinking about.

Sometimes it seems like I don't have control over what I think about. My thoughts race so fast sometimes, I have no control over what I do and don't want to think about.

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

For me (and maybe for some others here) it feels kind of jarring to see you so ready to think the worst of yourself. "Lordy! That Reina-Rena seems like such a nice person, what's she calling herself names like that for?" But of course if that's what you're doing, that's what you're doing and I, for one, would be happy to stick around as you continue to find out what that's about for you.

Thank you so much Fool Zero! You always give such wonderful advice!

[FooZe]

I really must've been in a hurry earlier. I notice I was replying here partly to things I remembered you saying -- in another topic!

Thank you so much Fool Zero! You always give such wonderful advice!

My pleasure, as always.

--------------------------------------
My advice is free -- and worth every penny!