[SilverRocket]

I have had anxiety since I was a child and then at around the age of 10, OCD began to creep into my life. It began as harmless and mild, doing routines such as trying to hit a bucket with a tennis ball standing from a specific distance in order to bring good luck. That's an early memory of it. I'm now in my late 20s and for the last few years, OCD has taken almost complete control of my life. Anything and everything can be a routine and the routines are not always set, I can pick up and abandon routines daily. Because they are not always set that means they can sneak up on me and suck me in to doing routines I wasn't expecting to have to avoid.

One of many examples is that I may think of something that I don't like as I click on an internet link or close a browser and then I have to bring up the site again and re-do it until I approve of my thoughts. Of course this has limited my internet activity as each click is a major effort as I try to suppress bad thoughts as I click on links. The thoughts are not that of being worried about acting on violent impulses, more fear based, worried that thinking of something that scares me will make it come true. It is all geared towards protecting myself and my loved ones.

My routines can be anything that I do physically. As simple as looking at something. Say I look at something and think of something bad, I have to look at it again and look away until I control the thought and think of something nice. Thinking of something nice as I finish a drink. I have drunk litres of water before in trying to co-ordinate a good thought with my last sip of water.

These routines have effected many of the things I love doing. I have been seeing a psychologist since mid-December and since I have been going to her, my OCD seems to have intensified rather than easing. I'm not sure if I'm correct in saying this but my shrink just takes notes and says next nothing to me. This makes me feel very alone and confused and I was hoping she would work with me a little bit. Should I be seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist instead to help me manage my daily behaviour and slowly curb my OCD?

[coko27]

Originally Posted by SilverRocket

I have had anxiety since I was a child and then at around the age of 10, OCD began to creep into my life. It began as harmless and mild, doing routines such as trying to hit a bucket with a tennis ball standing from a specific distance in order to bring good luck. That's an early memory of it. I'm now in my late 20s and for the last few years, OCD has taken almost complete control of my life. Anything and everything can be a routine and the routines are not always set, I can pick up and abandon routines daily. Because they are not always set that means they can sneak up on me and suck me in to doing routines I wasn't expecting to have to avoid.

One of many examples is that I may think of something that I don't like as I click on an internet link or close a browser and then I have to bring up the site again and re-do it until I approve of my thoughts. Of course this has limited my internet activity as each click is a major effort as I try to suppress bad thoughts as I click on links. The thoughts are not that of being worried about acting on violent impulses, more fear based, worried that thinking of something that scares me will make it come true. It is all geared towards protecting myself and my loved ones.

My routines can be anything that I do physically. As simple as looking at something. Say I look at something and think of something bad, I have to look at it again and look away until I control the thought and think of something nice. Thinking of something nice as I finish a drink. I have drunk litres of water before in trying to co-ordinate a good thought with my last sip of water.

These routines have effected many of the things I love doing. I have been seeing a psychologist since mid-December and since I have been going to her, my OCD seems to have intensified rather than easing. I'm not sure if I'm correct in saying this but my shrink just takes notes and says next nothing to me. This makes me feel very alone and confused and I was hoping she would work with me a little bit. Should I be seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist instead to help me manage my daily behaviour and slowly curb my OCD?

Yeah that would help with meds and I hope your ocd will get better for you .I also suffers from ocd my the nail biting and the compulsives behavior and the violent thoughts .

Hi there, sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time! Your therapist is NOT treating you correctly by merely taking notes and hardly talking to you. I would suggest finding a new therapist who specializes in OCD/anxiety, and asking them to do CBT or ERP (exposure response prevention). Both of these forms of therapy have helped me immensely.

Please keep us updated on how you're doing!