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feary
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Default Apr 14, 2010 at 08:55 AM
  #1
I cannot stop thinking horrible thoughts of aging and dying

It has destroyed my life every second

I can't live knowing these inevitables and i don't know how to stop thinking them

I feel like I live the same day every day

meds and therapy are not helping

just started effexor but worried about that

worries worries worries, fears, anxiety, depression that is all my life is.

Has anyone else had this? what helps?

thanks.
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Default Apr 14, 2010 at 09:16 AM
  #2
Hi there,

Sorry to hear you've been going through a tough time with this obsession. It's a tough one, for sure. Because, how can one enjoy life when they're obsessing about the end of it?

I have two questions to ask of you: 1) Are these thoughts intrusive (they keep coming in even though you don't want them to?) and 2) Have you and your therapist ever considered ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) for this issue?
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Default Apr 14, 2010 at 09:55 AM
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Yes they keep coming even though I don't want them to. What is ERP?

thanks.
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Default Apr 14, 2010 at 10:12 AM
  #4
http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_...reatments.html

This is a good site for explaining what ERP is. It has helped me tremendously with my obsessions, and just the simple fact that thoughts are thoughts, and the only dangerous thing about them is how we react to them.

Best of luck to you!
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Default Jun 01, 2010 at 05:22 PM
  #5
Hi, Feary, hunnybunny...
I've had some of the same kind of obsession. I'm 59, really alone, and I've worried, still do worry, about what is going to happen as I age. My way of dealing with this is to focus on the present. I still have my health, good friends, and a good job. It's kind of like burying my head in the sand, but I choose not to dwell on it. If I (you) dwell on it, it becomes overwhelming. Live in the NOW!
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Default Jun 02, 2010 at 08:10 PM
  #6
I think alot of people are going through this and I thanks you for bringing it up. I am soooo obsessed with aging and death that I am turning the big 2 0 and I can;t stand it. I feel like I have done nothing and a big chunk of my life is gone and that I will never see it again. Sort of like watching the battery on your laptop lose it's charge like a ticking time bomb.

If you watch Desperate Housewives, this was sorta mentioned in the eposode where the women reflect on Ediie Britt's live.... I belive it was called "Look Into Thier Eyes and See What They know". Any way, Eddie sits on the swing with Gabby and she says that her "youth" has gone by so quickly and I will admit that i cry there because it hits that certain spot that makes me realize that i am not going to live forever and I HATE it sooo much.

I have found that taking the time each day to just sorta think about how beautiful that day is really helps me in some wierd way.

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Default Jun 09, 2010 at 03:50 AM
  #7
I'm right there with you feary. It feels like the fear of death is consuming all aspects of life. I'm still trying to cope with it myself. I find that reading a good book distracts me from even thinking about it and calms me down at the same time. But I definitely think that both seeker1950 and romanjames2004 are on to something too....try and focus on the "now". Hope to hear back soon. -Storms
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Default Aug 22, 2010 at 08:15 PM
  #8
I have the same problem. I'm 46, live alone, have suffered from depression and more recently anxiety, and very recently was found to have a benign brain tumor. Over the last few years, my parents and a best friend passed away. I'm worried about getting older and getting sick and not being able to take care of myself... and I'm terrified of dying. I think about these things every day. I can't get them out of my head. I've never been diagnosed with OCD. Perhaps I have it?
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Default Aug 27, 2010 at 08:34 AM
  #9
I can't live in the now because I feel threatened in the now by death every second that something is going to happen to me my kids or family any second and I am braced for tragedy constantly

and these "intrusive memories" are really freaking me out

I dont want to have them but they keep coming to me triggered by any and every thing no matter how small or insignificant

does anyone else get these?

and they are not bad memories but good ones to where I want to go back and relive them
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Default Sep 12, 2017 at 02:38 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by feary View Post
I cannot stop thinking horrible thoughts of aging and dying

It has destroyed my life every second

I can't live knowing these inevitables and i don't know how to stop thinking them

I feel like I live the same day every day

meds and therapy are not helping

just started effexor but worried about that

worries worries worries, fears, anxiety, depression that is all my life is.

Has anyone else had this? what helps?

thanks.
Hi there, I have depression and I have developed a major fear re: ageing. All I do is ruminate about ageing and it makes me extremely anxious. I'm 35 and even that age makes me uncomfortable. How the hell am I going to continue to age when I'm already feeling like this? It's ruined my life! I used to be so happy and care free and this phobia and depression has ruined my life. Let me know if anything helps.
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Default Sep 16, 2017 at 12:54 AM
  #11
I'm only in my late 20's and I feel so unhappy with that age...I seem to see younger people around me constantly and I also feel like I might have wasted parts of my life ad it bothers me to no end.

I've also had some really bad OCD about death and dying but that's for another thread...

Living in the now doesn't help? Hmm...have you tried really, really immersing yourself in a book, movie, or video game? That always helps me. So does music. If lyrics in music trigger you then just listen to instrumental stuff. Try keeping a notebook and writing down the thoughts that make you feel bad, and then either tearing it up or reminding yourself that they're just thoughts due to your OCD and you can't let it control your life...that has helped me.

Hugs for you.
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Default Dec 02, 2017 at 12:46 PM
  #12
I used to have obsessive thoughts about aging and dying, but not anymore. I'm happy that I am 35 but only look 25.

What I've done to not fear aging is to slow down the aging process. This means constant exercise, drinking lots of water, eating healthy food, and living a low-stress life. It all works. I've also been using anti-aging creams since I was 25. Everyone tells me how young I look. This is an affirmation that my hard work against aging has worked.

Death will come, but living a healthy life makes me feel better on the way to death.

The obsessive thoughts have disappeared. I used my fears and worries as a weapon against aging, not against myself.
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Default Dec 09, 2017 at 08:25 AM
  #13
I understand this.

Part of my intrusive thoughts everyday involve me thinking "This doesn't matter you will die soon" Or make me think that every second I will die and the more seconds I don't die I obsess over the seconds I will.

This goes from mild to moderate to severe depending on any triggers or just how obsessive it gets. Sometimes it goes into health OCD hell and I am really messed up for several months thinking I am dying etc. Doesn't help that I know we all die someday and I don't know what will happen afterwards, its all a mess.

Currently, its just been the nagging thoughts in my head it hasn't gotten to terribly bad, but when it does its awful.

I don't want to age. I am almost 29, but some reason my brain takes that as I am old and going to die soon.

All I can say is use whatever distractions or coping mechs you have. I know how hard it is to compulse out of your head cause it often just comes back. I wish you luck.

I know for me meds and therapy can only do so much, its hard to live with OCD. I really do hope something can help you better.

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Default Mar 02, 2018 at 04:26 PM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roni1982 View Post
Hi there, I have depression and I have developed a major fear re: ageing. All I do is ruminate about ageing and it makes me extremely anxious. I'm 35 and even that age makes me uncomfortable. How the hell am I going to continue to age when I'm already feeling like this? It's ruined my life! I used to be so happy and care free and this phobia and depression has ruined my life. Let me know if anything helps.
Hi Roni, I just read a message you posted about your fear of aging. I'm going through it now where I've been obsessively thinking about it for the past couple of weeks and it's causing severe anxiety and depression. May I ask how you are feeling now? Hope it's gotten better.
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Default Mar 20, 2018 at 01:02 PM
  #15
The best thing is, is to try not to think about it. If you are worried about it all the time. You are wasting the life you have here. I have Ocd about death too. Have you tried grounding or meditation?
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Default Mar 30, 2018 at 04:28 AM
  #16
*****. I have this too. I didn't realize it was OCD and thought it was general anxiety. I always think of Jack Nicholson with these old kind of things. He's old and ugly, but he's still funny and really charming. A lot of things never get old. A lot of things still remain the same with positive attitude and a bit of spirit.

obsessive thoughts aging and dying?

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Default Oct 21, 2021 at 03:37 PM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roni1982 View Post
Hi there, I have depression and I have developed a major fear re: ageing. All I do is ruminate about ageing and it makes me extremely anxious. I'm 35 and even that age makes me uncomfortable. How the hell am I going to continue to age when I'm already feeling like this? It's ruined my life! I used to be so happy and care free and this phobia and depression has ruined my life. Let me know if anything helps.
I feel the exact same way. Did anything work for you?
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Default Oct 22, 2021 at 05:52 AM
  #18
I just turned 75------I could never have imagined being that age, LOL.....However,I still feel 18--I think attitude (about everything in life) is so important.
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