[Powermind14]

Hi I am bipolar with some OCD tendencies, not bad but when I get obsessive I get obsessive. I have a recurring as in about once a year obsession about wanting to gain weight. What is weird is that I am usually obsessive about being healthy and very lean as in bodybuilder lean. I am a personal trainer, have done some modeling etc. I usually abhore body fat on myself and anyone else but occasionally I just want to gain like 30 to 50 lbs....why why why? Any ideas? anyone else ever experience this? 40 to 50 lbs on me would just put me in the "obese" category. The most I've let this obsession go is about 20 lbs before I snap back to my senses and lean out.

[Perna]

I would think it's about "balance", kind of like dreams where we often will dream the opposite of what's happening in life because we're getting too set in what's happening. If you are obsessive about being "healthy" and "lean" (both your definitions, it's your body so there is no normal, average, correct, comparative definition) then your mind and body will occasionally remind you of that and that you're leaning all one way instead of "balanced". Theoretically, since our bodies are actually whole, they will naturally do things the way that is good for our whole selves if we're balanced people. Feeling like our body is not part of "us" and is something to be battled and forced into a particular shape, etc. is going to cause a rebound.

[Powermind14]

Wow! You know that is the best explanation I have heard yet, that really makes some sense. I have had such trouble getting balance in my life everything is always in extremes with me. The middle line is just non existent. Thank you so much I'm going to muddle this over.