Hording - Telling somone you can't help?

I mean physically cannot do this in the time frame and without more people. I have found some resources but its just a job that's too much for me to mentally or physically deal with. So that's gonna sting but I think finding a few numbers for them to call for proper help is the best I can do. Thoughts?

Hey Moose,

If you think you can't manage something then maybe say so and then that way your not putting too much expectations on yourself???

Its that plus the job is so huge its not worth it at this point to sit and turn in circles. Its more how do I TELL them this? I mean I know I just should say so, but I don't have any idea of their reaction. This is a major deal and I'm the only person asked.

Hey Moose,

Who are the people you are talking about.... family and friends? Can you tell them?

Is there a group of people helping?

I hope I have picked you up correctly

Its a friend. Just one. I can tell her. Just that- I dunno how. I sound some professional resources but I can't call- not my apartment. The only person asked so far is me. The deadline is Sunday.

Hey Moose,

Ok... Well why not suggest to your friend that it might be more than a 2 man job since it's getting closer to the deadline?

I will. Its just a matter of I don't want her to feel I'm jumping ship on her- especialy since I'm the only person she's asked.

Hey Moose,

Nah she won't think that don't worry.... if there are loads to do then she will realise its unrealistic and will agree with you

Plus if the deadline is because the city inspector is involved or something like that, they are used to these situations. It is this person's ultimate responsibility, even if they tried to put it on you, Moose. Good on you for trying to help, but probably not a one-person job, and really much more involved than one realizes, psychologically, etc.

Yes. She will be evicted as the county inspectors are involved now. I don't think it was put on me as such, but that's what it seems like as she has used half her short amount of time avoiding doing it. And I agree that its much more involved psychologically and mentally than most people are able to deal with. I dunno if I can deal with HER dealing with this, honestly! Its her demon. I am not her mom, or sister, or dating her,... that sounds like a copout but I just don''t know that i want to get that involved emotionally via something like this- and be the only one, to boot. Not to mention I'm bipolar and finally in a good spot. I also don't wanna expose myself to any bio hazards.

Then that sounds like the city will actually be there on Monday, they won't be working on Sunday. If they are really ready to condemn the place, and you are worried about biohazards, she should be more concerned about having a new place to live, it doesn't sound like cleaning this place is worth it. Is she older? We had a dog hoarding situation in Michigan last year, I think they put the person in a group home after hospitalization for mental evaluation. That was an actual house and they demolished it. Cities now have departments working with senior citizens on this issue as it is becoming common. It sounds like she hasn't really told you the whole story and is maybe making a last-ditch effort? Or are you taking too much responsibility upon yourself because you see she is not? If so, yes, you have our "permission" to back off. As should I!

No I'm justnwanting to talk this through. I haven't done anything yet but ask for advice from three people then post here. She's not old. She's in a hotel now. But that can't last very long as they're expensive.

Well, I would go with the airplane oxygen mask example on this one. You can only help others after you have taken care of yourself, so please do take care of yourself in this matter. If she chooses to become homeless, that is also her choice, or the consequence of her actions or inaction. Why are you taking this on? You don't have to answer that, you already have, partially, because she asked. But it feels like (and I may be putting myself in your shoes here) you're afraid to tell her no and afraid of what will happen to her if you don't take care of this, AND you're already in too deep, so now how do you get out? Sigh - this is why I still have recurring nightmares about my exes, now gone (from my life, anyway) over 30 years! Good luck with this, you obviously have a kind heart.

So mutual friend of ours found a local company that does this type of thing. And I told our friend about their website and she thanked me and was so happy! So I'm off the hook and she just MAY get this done. And I was not about to get into her stuff. I decided today that its just not in me to get into the disease and yuck etc. Not physically but mentally too- though right now im doing ok with the bipolar. Another two of her friends are going to go over there with her tomorrow to start things going, apparently. Not me. *shudder*