[jf93]

Ever since I can remember I have bitten or ripped my nails down to the point where they almost always bleed. I have to tear them off as far up as possible. Most of the time I actually rip the toe nails off completely. It's often painful to walk or use my hands to press buttons, open things, write, etc. I can't stand my feet or my hands. I don't really know which came first though the nail issues or the hatred of those specific body parts. I also feel the need to pick scabs or wounds. I had a car accident several months ago. I had a compound fracture (bone sticking out of the skin) and I had a pretty large area of scar tissue/semi-dead skin/scab-ish like stuff that was healing back together to cover the open wound and I couldn't stop picking it. It wasn't thin like a scab but more just like injured flesh. It was too thick and attached to pull off so I used scissors to cut the flesh off. I also picked my surgery incision and scabs from my stiches as often as I could. I would check all the time to see if they were scabbed over again so I could pick them again.

I know all this is very detailed & quite frankly it grosses ME out so I can imagine how you're feeling if you've read this but I've never told anyone, I mean of course people notice my hands and my husband doesn't even like for my feet to get near him, even just an accidental foot on foot touch dozing off in bed really bothers him, but I've never mentioned it to a doctor or anyone else. I'm too embarrassed & I really don't think I realized it was a problem until my husband started speaking up and I really started thinking about what I was doing.

Can somebody tell me what this is called? Obviously it's some kind of OCD but it'd be nice to know what specifically. I feel like I HAVE TO do it. I don't know why. I don't feel like anything bad is going to happen if I don't. It just nag nag nags at me like it's driving me crazy. If I do happen to fight the urge long enough to forget about it (which is extremely rare) the next time I look down I've done it again anyway without thinking about it. Also, if you have this problem, is there anything you do to curb the urges?

It sounds like a very extreme form of dermatillomania, like the people who obsessively pick at their skin. However, there are just as many reasons for your problem as there are people who have it. Some people merely do it to cope with recent stressors. Some people do it to cope with a very old emotional wound, which is a lot more pervasive than stress triggers as it is not preceded by any event in particular. It could be related to an obsession regarding the skin or nails (such as dirtiness or texture, etc) & you feel the need to pick as a response to those obsessions. And also there is the good old genetics factor.

There's also no saying it could be OCD. Do you have past issues with self-injurious behaviours?

I only pull my eyelashes as a result of a recent trigger, so taking preventative measures to keep myself calm & distracted is usually enough, but it's not fool proof. You should really consider seeing a professional about this, as you could get all types of potentially dangerous infections from this habit. This is a situation where it breaches psychological upset to the realm of very real physical endangerment.

Be well.