Are you on meds at all? Meds have helped supress most of mine. EVery now and then they really get to me. Now I try to remind myself that as long as I believe that killing someone is wrong then I'm not going to act on it, no matter how much I think about it. A lot of people have very violent thoughts. I read an excerpt from a book recently (I wish I remembered the title) and a psychiatrist was talking about how he's seen thousands of patients and what makes him concerned are when three things are present: the client not concerned about these thoughts, extreme anger, and I can't remember the third exactly but I thibnk it was something about believing that there is no value to human life. However, almost no patient who has these obsessive thoughts ever quits worrying about them, and the few that do manage to quit worrying about them go on to live much happer lives, and still don't act on the thoughts. I'm sorry you are struggling with this. Recent news stuff sparked my feelikngs towards my violent thoughts and my T is slowly helping me process them. It is helping some. Do you have a T you can talk to. It's important to have professional feedback.
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
|