[dejesusmommy]

hi everyone. i started biting my nails when i was 3yrs old. my mom said my dad and grandma did it and it started because i imitated them and i just never stopped doing it. at the age of 10 i noticed i will bite my skin off around my nails and then i started biting the skin off the side of my knuckles. i did the whole knuckle skin biting for about 2 years religiously and im 26 now and i do it occasionally. i sometimes bite my toe nails when my feet are clean and i also bite the skin around it but id do that maybe once a month but the nail biting is EVERYDAY 100 times a day and the skin around my fingers as well. im obsessed with picking scabs off my body and my husbands. when i was 21 or 22 i started biting the side of my mouth because i was very stressed when i first moved in with my husband. im 26 now and i cant kick the habit. i bite the skin off only and ONLY on the right side never the left. i ;bite it until it bleeds and then i wait a few hours until some of the skin has grown back so that i can peel the skin off again. i cant get enough of peeling the skin. i look forward to doing it everyday and i now do it without noticing it. i catch my self pressing my mouth with my fingers into my teeth so that i can grip the skin better. i ignore the fact that my teeth hurt like hell and that im damaging my mouth. i barely have any nails. it feels good to me when i peel my skin on mouth and fingers and i absolutely LOVE to chew on the skin. when i get blisters on the back of my feet i peel it off and chew it very slowly and when im done i spit them out. every once in a while ill pick off a piece that got wedged in my tooth and start the chewing again. it feels like i just found a treat in my mouth. i have this huge bump on my thumb due to me chewing the skin off. its a mountain of skin. once i bit the entire "mountain" off with one bite and it hurt sooooo bad but as soon as i saw a little sign of healing i got the biting again. sometime last year i actually let my nails grow for over 4 months then i started again.

a few months ago i noticed that i talk out loud by myself. i DO NOT have conversations with myself though. i would think about scenarios where someone asks me a question and i respond but i do it outloud. for example just a few minutes ago before i registered to this forum i was talking outloud about all the things i was going to talk about in this forum. i dont talk loud i kinda whisper it. i started doing this when and only when i was alone but i caught myself doing at work and thank god no one saw me. and if they do see me ill just tell them im singing and save myself the embarrassment. when my husband makes me mad i sometimes dont tell him im upset but what i would say to him i whisper to myself. im not anti social i am actually very liked, loved and popular at work so i know its not that i dont get attention or something. i dont know whats wrong with me.

please help me guys. i dont have money for a therapist at the moment. i did however go to therapy when i was about 7 or 8 but not for these problems ive talked about above. thank you guys soooo much for taking the time to read this

[Christina86]

I think you're in the right place, I've done similar things (and do similar things as well). You say you can't afford a therapist, have you thought about seeing a doctor? Or looking into low-cost therapy in your area? Or support groups?