I am having really obsessive thoughts :(

Oct 14, 2012 at 08:49 PM

I can't stop them. Usually when these start it means I am due for a hospitalization and I really want to avoid it if at all possible, because hospitals traumatize me. But I can't stop obsessing. Over every word I say and everything I do. Over small things. The temperature of my apartment. The length of my dog's nails. Time. Money. Dust. Snags in my carpet. I obsess about the internet. My blog. My facebook wall and pictures. Is everything perfect? The amount of gas in my car. What speed I'm going. I cling on everything that I say. Did I say it right? Did I smile? Did I appear passive? I can't be passive. No you didn't say it right. Shut up, please shut up. Stop thinking about it. You need to stop thinking about it. Lydia, stop thinking about it.

Then I get so anxious and my leg moves 100 mph and I can't sleep and I'm miserable. I end up going mad, and either signing myself in or finally trying to end it and getting put in. I sort of haven't worked a lot in my recovery with my OCD, so any suggestions for me?

perseverance11 · Oct 14, 2012 at 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LydiaB

I can't stop them. Usually when these start it means I am due for a hospitalization and I really want to avoid it if at all possible, because hospitals traumatize me. But I can't stop obsessing. Over every word I say and everything I do. Over small things. The temperature of my apartment. The length of my dog's nails. Time. Money. Dust. Snags in my carpet. I obsess about the internet. My blog. My facebook wall and pictures. Is everything perfect? The amount of gas in my car. What speed I'm going. I cling on everything that I say. Did I say it right? Did I smile? Did I appear passive? I can't be passive. No you didn't say it right. Shut up, please shut up. Stop thinking about it. You need to stop thinking about it. Lydia, stop thinking about it.

Then I get so anxious and my leg moves 100 mph and I can't sleep and I'm miserable. I end up going mad, and either signing myself in or finally trying to end it and getting put in. I sort of haven't worked a lot in my recovery with my OCD, so any suggestions for me?

Hello LydiaB,

So when you have obsessive thoughts like that, it is a sign of hospitslisation?

Is there something bothering you at this time that can contribute to all that?

Oct 14, 2012 at 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by perseverance11

Hello LydiaB,

So when you have obsessive thoughts like that, it is a sign of hospitslisation?

Is there something bothering you at this time that can contribute to all that?

Yea, because it makes me go insane. It doesn't stop. And then I think, what about a hospital does make it stop? And I don't know. My medications are rarely ever changed. Maybe because it gives me time to switch between parts. But I know this and I've tried to like lay low for a couple days, but my efforts are worthless. Hospitals are pretty traumatic for me, so I don't know if the trauma of them causes me to switch.

perseverance11 · Oct 14, 2012 at 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LydiaB

Yea, because it makes me go insane. It doesn't stop. And then I think, what about a hospital does make it stop? And I don't know. My medications are rarely ever changed. Maybe because it gives me time to switch between parts. But I know this and I've tried to like lay low for a couple days, but my efforts are worthless. Hospitals are pretty traumatic for me, so I don't know if the trauma of them causes me to switch.

Maybe your medication should be ajusted?

Oct 14, 2012 at 09:45 PM

Obviously the hospital fulfills some kind of need. What can you replace it with so you don't require an admission? The place does not seem to be beneficial so why get traumatized all over again? Anyway, hospitals are limited in what they can do.

Perhaps, a medication review should be done or another one added (PRN) to help ease the thoughts.

It could also be stress or even boredom. When I feel overwhelmed or lose my sense of control my obsessiveness intensifies.

Oct 15, 2012 at 10:42 AM

I definitely feel a loss of control in my life right now. I just had to quit nursing classes, I have no idea where my brother is on his journey back from Afghanistan and his wife doesn't want to answer questions, my other brother is consistently sending me texts calling me a failure for quitting nursing school. I just rekindled with old friends who all have these great lives now and I'm just here, being sick.

Oct 15, 2012 at 11:12 AM

hope you don't have to end up in hospital.

do keep us posted on how you are doing

poptart316 · Oct 21, 2012 at 09:28 PM

Hi, I have obsessive thoughts too! I also have delusional thoughts/fears that I obsess over from time to time.
I just try to keep myself busy and focused on external things.

Sila · Oct 21, 2012 at 10:43 PM

Maybe going to the hospital is just a big change of scenery and a sudden 'shock' to the system because it's a rough transition, that it kind of "resets" the thought processes for a bit?

Oct 23, 2012 at 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sila

Maybe going to the hospital is just a big change of scenery and a sudden 'shock' to the system because it's a rough transition, that it kind of "resets" the thought processes for a bit?

Yea I think you're right. It really is quite a shock. I hate hospitals. lol. Despise them. People try to get me to calm down. But I am on overdrive. I sign my 72 right away. And spend my entire 72 hours begging the doctor to let me go earlier. They usually let me have a room of my own though because it's such a hard time for me. And then that's sort of a reminder that I never want to go back to one, so I shut up and stop telling anybody what I feel.

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I am having really obsessive thoughts :(

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Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 15, 2012 at 11:12 AM #7 hope you don't have to end up in hospital. do keep us posted on how you are doing
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poptart316 Veteran Member Member Since Oct 2012 Location: Michigan Posts: 518 11 196 hugs given	Oct 21, 2012 at 09:28 PM #8 Hi, I have obsessive thoughts too! I also have delusional thoughts/fears that I obsess over from time to time. I just try to keep myself busy and focused on external things.
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Sila Grand Member Member Since Oct 2012 Posts: 899 11 443 hugs given	Oct 21, 2012 at 10:43 PM #9 Maybe going to the hospital is just a big change of scenery and a sudden 'shock' to the system because it's a rough transition, that it kind of "resets" the thought processes for a bit?
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