[ItsTheTaste]

Hello everyone!

For the past 10 years or so, I’ve been developing a really bad skin picking habit. My face is the worst area, but I also do it on my legs, arms and chest. During the last couple of years I have been getting ever more determined to finally quit this habit though, because it is crushing my self-esteem, making me feel so ugly, worthless and ashamed

I have tried to follow lists of alllll possible tips and tricks that get mentioned on these boards (and on the wider web) to try and quit the picking: using gloves, covering mirrors, making pacts with other people, always covering my skin with make-up, never lighting the lights in the bathroom, stepping away from the mirror, etc. Hell, I even had a 50-cent-a-pickfree-day plan with my mum, which worked for a month (that’s the longest I’ve ever managed to quit actually).
But somehow, I never manage to make it past a couple of days, two weeks tops… and I feel awful about it.

I just went on a crazy face-picking spree tonight, and immediately afterwards I felt way worse. One look in the mirror and I just started crying because it looks so awful: the redness, the scars. I feel so embarrassed, angry at myself for doing this, depressed about how long this has been going on, and most of all I feel like a failure because no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get rid of this habit. I’m usually very strong willed, ambitious and determined when it comes to reaching my goals – so why not this one?
It makes me so dispirited, as if this will go on for ever.

I guess what I wanted to ask is: do any of you feel like this too?
This really sad, disappointed, angry-at-yourself, and mostly dispirited reaction?
It would be nice to know if someone actually conquered this habit and won the battle – but just knowing it’s not just me (that I’m not just lazy, or weak-willed) would help a lot

Thank you…

[Phobicperson]

Well, I do pick at my thumbs and scabs a lot, everyday, in fact, so that they would bleed. My longest time without picking was probably 10 days so one month, to me, is a really huge feat.. I don't know how to overcome it but just thought you should know that you're not alone..

[ItsTheTaste]

Thank you, that's really good to hear... I mean - the content of our two posts is not really happy or good, but at least we know we're not alone, right?

[Phobicperson]

Yup! Someone suggested to play with a guitar pick but it didn't work out for me :/

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

I feel just the same way. My face is so bad and I feel so ugly especially when I see someone with perfect skin. I can not control it if I am exhausted. Something about falling asleep makes me do it without knowing and takes all my mental control away to stop. Some days it's really bad no matter how awake I am. If I feel dirty, grubby, acne has broken out along with my picking, etc... I can't tell you how to fix it. I guess just practice mental control? really lame I know...sometimes impossible. I wish I had an answer cause then I could stop too! maybe sit on your hands or smack them when you go to do it or if you catch yourself...maybe the physical sense will snap you out of it?? I'm going to try that I think...

Patient, Gentle & Kind, Y'all ... Patient, Gentle & Kind.

I find the more I freak out about it, the worst it becomes ... I try doing a little bit of gentle self talk instead.

If I can soothe myself and assure myself that it's okay and that it's a poor coping mechanism but that it doesn't mean I'm a bad person, then it seems to ease up a bit.

I think the harder we are on ourselves sometimes the worse it makes these kinds of behavior become.

I'm no expert though ...

[ItsTheTaste]

Pfrog, you're really on to something there, I think. Selfcompassion is a very important part of life! However, I still find it hard when you're desperately trying to quit a habit and not really getting anywhere... (especially when combined with a perfectionist nature).

A friend of mine recently gave me some very good advice. She told me to stop taking non-picking as the "normal" way of life (since, clearly, that only makes me beat up myself and get miserable) and start seeing my picking as the normal way - or at least, the dominating way in my life right now. In thinking like that, any day in which I don't pick will be a huge success and a deviation from the rule!
That's actually a way of being gentle and kind, I think.

Also - I came up with a new trick together with my mum: I get to pick one spot every day, but only one! So I need to make a tough decision of which spot drives me crazy the most and where I will pick, and then I can act on the urge - but only in this one tiny place. I thought it wouldn't work, but as of today I've been doing it for 4 days and it's going really well!
It gives me the freedom to not have to stop completely straight away (and the mental idea that "I'm still allowed to pick") whereas the negative consequences are severely minimized and my skin looks a lot better already.
Fingers crossed to see if this will keep working

[echoesofagirl]

Originally Posted by ItsTheTaste

...It would be nice to know if someone actually conquered this habit and won the battle – but just knowing it’s not just me (that I’m not just lazy, or weak-willed) would help a lot...

Oh man, I could have written this a few years ago! So similar it's scary! I tried EVERYTHING to quit. You're not lazy or weak-willed. I don't know you at all and yet I know you're not because you've been fighting this for 10 years. That takes a hell of a lot of energy, determination, and will-power!

What finally worked for me was taking medication for OCD (I take Luvox, but there are many others). The meds didn't make the obsession and compulsion to skin pick go away completely, but they reduced them enough so that all those techniques (gloves, covering mirrors, etc) that had never worked for me before actually worked! It wasn't an easy way out at all, because I still had to work (and continue to work) at not picking with all those healthy coping and distraction mechanisms. Rather, it is like my OCD is a radio station with the volume turned up so high that no amount of determination and healthy coping skills can ever be heard over it. The Luvox turns the volume down. It's not off, but it is SOOOOOOOO much better than before!!!

Good luck and hang in there! You are definitely not alone!!!

[BlessedRhiannon]

I always felt relief after skin-picking, but then, a few hours later, the disgust would come in.

For me, working with a therapist helped some...getting on medication for anxiety helped a ton! I'm very proud to say that right now, I have zero scabs, open sores, or spots that I am picking at. Yes, I still have the scars, but I'm learning to accept those as a part of me.

[ItsTheTaste]

Thank you soooo much for your support everyone! It really makes me feel better, 'cause there are only very few friends whom I've ever told my problem to, and nobody who has ever dealt with the same thing. It's such a relief to know that I'm not alone...

But this anxiety med thing - I had never heard about that before, that's interesting! (Only discovered it through reading some posts on PC here lately). But aren't those medications only for when you have an official diagnosis of OCD, and it's severe enough to require medication? I don't know where you all live, but where I live in Europe medication for mental health issues aren't prescribed that easily / fast (apart from anti-depressants, maybe). I don't have any diagnosis of OCD whatsoever (or at least my psychologist never mentioned it), and I would just be afraid that doctors or psychologists would laugh at me if I described the picking problem What if they say "You pick you're face? What a silly habit! Just stop it already, and everything will be fine. Run along now, girl!"

I don't know... I've never taken any mental-health-related medication whatsoever, so I'm pretty scared of such a big step. What if I become completely hooked? What if it makes me act really weird, or I become horribly emotional, or suddenly gain a lot of weight or something?
(My apologies if these are big prejudices - meds are a big uncharted territory for me, I hope I'm not offending anyone! )

[BlessedRhiannon]

I would just be afraid that doctors or psychologists would laugh at me if I described the picking problem What if they say "You pick you're face? What a silly habit! Just stop it already, and everything will be fine. Run along now, girl!"

I don't know... I've never taken any mental-health-related medication whatsoever, so I'm pretty scared of such a big step. What if I become completely hooked? What if it makes me act really weird, or I become horribly emotional, or suddenly gain a lot of weight or something?

I'm in the US, so I know that things are different in Europe. Here's been my experience.

First, I would sincerely hope that a mental health professional would never be so dismissive. However, yes, I have encountered the dismissive attitude with general practitioner doctors. Both my psychologist and psychiatrist are well educated on OCD and anxiety issues and both had lots of great suggestions of ways to deal with it. For me, medication ended up being the best solution.

As far as meds - I refused to even think about them for years. I finally agreed to just go talk to the psychiatrist - no obligation to actually take anything. After talking with him, I decided to give it a try. If you're working with a competent p-doc, they will monitor you to make sure you don't become addicted. You can talk to a p-doc about what side effects you are and aren't willing to tolerate. Sometimes, it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right medication, but if you talk to the doc, and are willing to work with them, you'll find one you can tolerate that will work. For myself - I'm on a very low dose of medication, and I've had zero side effects. This was the 3rd med I tried. First one, the low dose didn't do anything and the next higher dose just put me to sleep. Second one made me really, really spacey. Third one - took the edge off my anxiety enough that I don't tend to feel the need to pick.

[kirby777]

I pick at my scalp untiL it bleeds....then I pick at the scab. The higher my anixiety, the more I pick....At one point I had 7 lesions on my scalp and scabs on the skin of my ear canals...I know that is an odd spot. You are not alone.

[Sayu]

I do this with my fingers and I have really bad hangnails, especially on my thumbs. I've been doing it for years and for me it's just impossible not to do it. My hands are bleeding every single day.

[Nothingbutgone]

I pick at my fingers, not just the thumbs, and I like getting sunburn because it gives me an excuse to pick at my skin without mother getting upset with me, but when my brother found out he was just like "Dude, it's not an obsession. Just stop doing it." And I'd get really depressed because I pick at my scalp mostly and scabs along my body and I also pull my hair. I refuse to tell my parents. I have yet to see my therapist, but I am not going to take medicine for it. If my parents found out they'd throw me in a mental hospital. Literally.

[ItsTheTaste]

I'm so sorry to hear that there are so many of us struggling with these issues
I mean - it's good to know that we're not alone, but at the same time it's hard to read your posts and realize that all of us would like to quit so bad, yet it's such an uphill struggle...
A big shout out and hug to you all!


@BlessedRhiannon: that's interesting to hear, that you were also very medication-aversive at first! But did you have an official OCD-diagnosis before you went to talk to that doctor? Cause I'm not sure whether I would dare walk into a psychiatrist's office and say "I pick my skin and I've self-diagnosed this as OCD. Now give me anxiety meds! *slaps handbag on table*" Or is that how it goes?

And do you need to have other OCD symptoms as well, like locking and unlocking your door 5 times whenever you leave the house? (Hmmm I get the feeling I'm stuck with a rather prejudiced or untrue image of what OCD actually entails, though?)
Or do those meds also help for feeling anxious in general, like when you get verrrrry stressed out / scared / worried about tiny things, fret about them all the time and have huge amounts of stress? Because that's definitely something I do :-/

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by ItsTheTaste

@BlessedRhiannon: that's interesting to hear, that you were also very medication-aversive at first! But did you have an official OCD-diagnosis before you went to talk to that doctor? Cause I'm not sure whether I would dare walk into a psychiatrist's office and say "I pick my skin and I've self-diagnosed this as OCD. Now give me anxiety meds! *slaps handbag on table*" Or is that how it goes?

And do you need to have other OCD symptoms as well, like locking and unlocking your door 5 times whenever you leave the house? (Hmmm I get the feeling I'm stuck with a rather prejudiced or untrue image of what OCD actually entails, though?)
Or do those meds also help for feeling anxious in general, like when you get verrrrry stressed out / scared / worried about tiny things, fret about them all the time and have huge amounts of stress? Because that's definitely something I do :-/

I did not have an "official" diagnosis of OCD when I went to see the psychiatrist. My therapist referred me and spoke with him before hand. During my initial appointment, we talked about what I'm dealing with and the severity. Honestly, in that first appointment, we focused more on the anxiety aspects more than anything else. He asked me lots of questions about when and how my anxiety manifests. I'd just met the man and wasn't able to say more than 'yes, I pick at my skin' and I didn't even bring it up, he asked me about it because my therapist had told him (I asked her to mention it as I knew I would struggle to bring it up).

In fact, I still don't have an official OCD diagnosis. Mine is generalized anxiety disorder. The OCD (for me) was a symptom of that anxiety. So, the medication I am on is for anxiety, with the added benefit that significantly reducing my anxiety made the need to pick at my skin significantly reduce as well.

[voicesinmyhead2]

I have been skin picking and hair pulling more excessively over the past couple of months. My Doctor increased my invega recently and seems to have help me cut back from pocking and pulling quite a bit. Whenever my stress level increases so does the picking and pulling. Mt hair pulling was so bad that I have a balled spot now and have to wear a scarf or a wig in public. I hope you feel better too real soon

[coolhair]

You don't need to be scared about going to the mental health professionals about it. I went to see a doctor last week about my skin picking for the first time, and was utterly terrified. He didn't laugh or anything, but was gentle and referred me for cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). Since, I've spoken to a couple of psychologists about it, naming it dermatillomania. They hadn't heard of it before, so it helped to compare it to trichotillomania, and they were very understanding. I'm still on the waiting list for therapy, so I can't tell you if it's helped yet, but I'd recommend going to the doctors about it. Dermatillomania is on the OCD spectrum, so maybe you'll get some meds, but CBT is meant to help cure both anyway.

[TheJettSet27]

I always feel good after picking mine. It was always more of a self-injury thing, though, and not OCD. My OCD is a little different and not very severe.

[NWgirl2013]

I know two people who gradually moved where they pick to under their hair. But one found a lot of relief from anti anxiety meds.
The compulsion the other felt overwhelmed her at times so she just decided that if the picking didn't show she would stress less about it.