[moonshift]

Hello!

So I'll keep this brief. For over four years I've lived in a state of constant, unending self-criticism. It could be about anything and everything; the way I walk, the fact that I checked my phone and there were no messages on it, the fact that I'm not more awestruck by a beautiful piece of artwork, etc. It's an unyielding quest for perfection that's ultimately unattainable. I understand my thoughts aren't logical and I really don't think I hate myself; however, I can't seem to dissociate from these thoughts. I haven't been able to fully enjoy any moment of my life in the last four years because I even criticize myself for the way I enjoy things. This post is giving me anxiety because I know it's not written to the best of my ability. I must have hundreds or thousands of these thoughts a day. They leave me exhausted and unable to accomplish much of anything.

I've tried counseling with multiple therapists and many medications, including several SSRI's, amphetamines, benzos, etc. Nothing has helped even slightly with these torturous, painful thoughts.

I'm willing to check out/try anything (and I mean ANYTHING) that would help alleviate my problem. What could the problem possibly be? Thank you so much for reading this.

[Phobicperson]

I'm no expert but it sounds like OCD to me... What have the therapists said???

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Sounds exactly like part of my OCD. Currently getting CBT from my psychologist, and sometimes attend an OCD support group - early days, yet.