Ocd ruining my affection to my partner

Admadguy · Jul 23, 2014 at 01:38 PM

Hi guys

I m sure my problem is not new and there are fellow OCDers who have gone through this before..and i seek perspectives from both women n men especially men on how have they been able to deal with this.

So i m in a relationship with a girl who had a failed marriage for a year and is a divorcee, the guy cheated her and perhaps married her only for dowry and had a parallel affair with a model. This girl comes from a very known family with strong values and is an entrepreneur like me running a business since 4 years now...we both share great chemistry and understand each others business challenges very well, we have an amazing sex life and i love her insanely...

But heres the thing i have a profound past and had 4 relationships and she was only physically involved for a brief period with that jerk and was the only guy in her life she was physical with which lacked emotions and deep down she was unhappy and felt cheated....

Anyways so while everything is awsome and i m looking at marying her (i m never married) those ruminations about her past dont leave, i feel terrible with the thot that that jerk touched her and those imaginary obsessive sexual images create back n forth obsessions affecting my affection on her and stopping me from giving my 100% to her...

I really need a perspective and a new thought to ger over this and enjoy my life with her to the fullest.

I m in pain and this is affecting my work life and personal life horribly.

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

bluekoi · Jul 23, 2014 at 05:38 PM

Admadguy, Remember your partner did nothing wrong. They were married and he cheated on her. Do you have a relationship counsellor that you could see together?

Admadguy · Jul 23, 2014 at 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluekoi

Admadguy, Remember your partner did nothing wrong. They were married and he cheated on her. Do you have a relationship counsellor that you could see together?

Just curious...how would a marriage counsellor help...arent these ocd driven obsessions? I was diagnosed with ocd 6 years back....is this happening cos i love her a lot and need exclusivity even with her past which is impossible i know...i need a way to move on...and think that her past never happend.

bluekoi · Jul 24, 2014 at 10:09 AM

Admadguy, I was thinking that you & your partner could discuss your concerns (due to OCD) with the counsellor. The counsellor may be able to refer you to a therapist who specializes in OCD. You partner can ask questions and be assured you are searching for help with your OCD. The marriage counsellor can help both of you understand the difficulties you are trying to sort out.

Feluram · Jul 27, 2014 at 03:23 PM

You can't just erase that feeling and move on. The more you try, that thought will come more often to make you feel terrible. If you can't convince yourself that you can't change her past, then you might share your troubles with her. It might lessen your burden and help you to move on.

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Ocd ruining my affection to my partner

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bluekoi Administrator Community Support Team Member Since Feb 2014 Location: Vancouver, BC Canada Posts: 13,617 (SuperPoster!) 10 11.4k hugs given	Jul 23, 2014 at 05:38 PM #2 Admadguy, Remember your partner did nothing wrong. They were married and he cheated on her. Do you have a relationship counsellor that you could see together?
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Feluram Junior Member Member Since Jul 2014 Location: India Posts: 10 9 4 hugs given	Jul 27, 2014 at 03:23 PM #5 You can't just erase that feeling and move on. The more you try, that thought will come more often to make you feel terrible. If you can't convince yourself that you can't change her past, then you might share your troubles with her. It might lessen your burden and help you to move on.
	Reply With Quote