[magical loser]

i never thought i had it because i always thought it was stuff like... washing hands all the time, checking doors are locked over an over. or arranging things perfectly/alphabetical order etc. i dont do any of that but ive recently found out that ocd can be obsessive thoughts, which is a major problem for me, so ive been looking it up but im still confused...

i have had a lot of obsessions which consume a lot of my time and if im not doing it im thinking about it... i made a thread about that here if you need any info on that... http://forums.psychcentral.com/gener...eak-cycle.html

but ive realised its more than that... i overthink EVERYTHING, my brain/mind is constantly full and busy and thinking about something or other (sometimes more than 1 thing at once!). everything thats has happened/is happening/going to happen i overthink it, i obsess over it. i cant really describe that, i cant really put the feeling into words tbh, but its really annoying because it happens automatically. if i have to go somewhere or do something in a few days i cant just forget about it until then and get on with whatever i need to, its always there

i also have some... intrusive thoughts... its not THAT bad but its still too embarrassing to write about so i wont. its not scary like killing people or whatever but its more embarrassing than anything else. i feel embarrassed by these thoughts even though nobody knows then. but what bothers me most is that they are time consuming and annoying. it just pops into my head when im trying to sleep, when i wake up and supposed to be getting up and when im supposed to be doing other things. the worst part is that most of the time i.... indulge it and that leads me to worry about been "something" which might actually be illeagal and worry that i might act it out in some way. i read a lot about it and read about some guy been arrested. but as long as its just a fantasy it wont hurt anyone right?

also i daydream. all. the. time. i have always done that though since i was a kid. im almost never mentally on this planet im always fantasising about stuff, because in my daydreams my life doesnt suck. in some im normal... a NORMAL person and i dont live here which is awesome and i have a job and money and all that (things i dont have in real life) and in others im... a sorceress. i have been pretty obsessed with sorcery/magic/fantasy/dragons etc for as long as i can remember. but fantasising about it is just stupid, pointless and a complete waste of time. i looked up something called maldaptive dreaming or something but there doesnt seem to be much about it, because the daydreams are usually very detailed and have a story with them

i dont think any of these thoughts are really that bad (apart from maybe the intrusive one, i have no idea) but whats bothering me is that i cant stop thinking and its wasting a lot of time and energy and cant get much done. i am depressed and have no energy to do things anyway and lieing around thinking all the time isnt helping

also sometimes i get distracted by something and it just gets woven into the daydream. i am very easily distracted so i could be daydreaming about something then something happens and it changes just like that. but the things that happen around me i can never just ignore, well some i can, i think my brain is pretty selective about that. but i will usually start thinking about things when i see them or whatever. its so so so annoying and i wish get rid of all these completely useless thoughts, because they are all totally useless

i do have a doctor appointment next week and im going to tell them and see if i can get on antidepressant again or if they suggest something else. im also probably going to get refered to a counseler...

so is this all ocd or something else?

[jelly-bean]

The best thing you can do for yourself is wait til you see the doctor and possibly a counselor. Each person is different and what is OCD for one person may be something else for another. None of us here can diagnose the problem for you so if you are patient you have a better chance of finding out what is going on when you see the doctor.

[magical loser]

its too far away, i just need something anything and tbh i dont even know what, anything to make life bearable

[-jimi-]

I sometimes overthink. I daydream. I have OCD.

For me, all these feel totally different. But I think because my mind is so busy, it is the perfect playground for all three conditions.