How Do I Overcome OCD? Please Help!

Hello!

I am a 20 year old female, and I am almost positive I suffer with OCD, particularly HOCD. I have always had obsessive thoughts and what I feel are compulsions to try to get rid of these thoughts. Oftentimes, these thoughts are not even rational.

I really started to notice these thoughts about a year ago. I had just gotten into a serious relationship for the first time ever. However, I felt I was always doubting how much I loved this guy. I would dwell on it for hours upon hours. I never felt peaceful in the relationship. The relationship did end, and I feel as though my obsessive thoughts ruined it. My anxiety got so bad that I would cry every single night, worry about dreams with other guys, and worry that he somehow knew exactly what I was thinking. I would often apologize in the relationship for not loving him enough.

This past year, after getting out of the relationship, I developed HOCD. This has been the worst obsession I have had by far. I have the fear of being a lesbian. I support the LGBTQ community. However, I have never identified myself as a lesbian or as bisexual. I forget when I started to worry about this, but I know it began about the beginning of this year. Part of me feels it is because I have very few males in my life right now. I have very close girl friendships, and that oftentimes worries me. No matter what I do, in the back of my mind I am constantly worried if I am attracted to a woman I walk by or if I would ever be interested in a woman romantically. I cannot see myself falling in love with a woman. Every time I think about being with one, I get disgusted. However, I'll have an intrusive thought or a sex dream with a woman and I plunge back into anxiety. It has gotten to the point where I need to cancel plans just because I want to avoid this feeling. I still have crushes on guys, but again, I still worry about "becoming gay." I had this fear when I was younger, and I realize now it was completely irrational. I wish I could do it again.

I have many other obsessions as well. For example, every time I hear a siren, I have to bless myself with a sign of the cross. If I don't, I worry that by not doing that the person could die that the ambulance is trying to save. I constantly worry about locking the car doors and apartment doors. I always have to say "I love you" to a loved one before they leave because I am often afraid that they will die if I don't. These are just a few of the obsessions and compulsions I have.

I NEED to overcome my HOCD and OCD. Does anyone have any advice or resources that can help me?

Thank you!

Hi constantstress. Sorry you are feeling so stressed. It appears when you put out one anxiety another appears. Have you discussed this with a therapist specializing in OCD?

Here are resources on Psych Central Psych Central - Search results for Coping with OCD

There are lifestyle changes that might help them cope if willing to discipline.

Diet can have an affect on how we feel. I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Here is what I use when my head gets over crammed with thoughts. Breathe in a natural way. Silently count one on the inhale and 2 on the exhale. 3 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. Continue up to 10 then go back to 1. This helps me focus on breathing rather than the wall of thoughts.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

Check out the OCFoundation.org website for more information and resources. Good luck!

Hi,

I'm a male: I did have HOCD some years ago. I had such a worry that led me to research about sexual orientation, about its biological and environmental causes. I had to convince myself I was not gay by looking at other men and feel not attracted. I don't remember what made my HOCD stop: today I'm feeling totally unaffected by the thought of being gay.

Now I want to give you an advice, which I wish I could follow entirely: sacrifice.
There is a reason why the sufferer ruminates for hours, to protect his ego.
Sacrifice by overcoming your ego: what is left is the experiencing being only.

Life is not meant to be conceptualized, but to be lived.
Asking "What if I am wrong?" is also a sign of ego protection.

Not sure if that helped.

@r731, You gave me one more tool to overcome my intrusive thoughts, thank you
I practice this form now