[blind archer]

When I'm handling something fragile, or am in a museum, I involuntarily imagine myself breaking it and suffering the consequences.
When I'm having a conversation with someone I like or respect, I get a vision of myself doing something very rude and hurting their feelings.
When I'm in the lab doing experiments, I get a vision of making mistakes and causing a lot of damage to myself and others.
When I'm creating something, I visualize myself destroying it for no reason.

Sometimes I even get intrusive thoughts of others doing such things even when it has no consequences for me. Like seeing someone during their wedding and imagining them crapping their pants and earning everyone's disgust.

This stuff happens all the time for every situation. It always makes me feel much much MUCH worse.
I want to get this to somehow stop but I also don't want to do that. I'm very clumsy. I have a lot of trouble paying attention. I have a terrible memory and I make stupid mistakes all the time especially when is something that involves socializing.

I know a lot of the stuff I visualize can never happen. But it feels like as if I stop having these things, bad stuff will happen even more. Like an hour ago I was crossing the road and you know what image came to my mind. I tensed up and tried to prevent that from happening. What if, if I hadn't imagined that, I would not have been so lucky? But anyways, it killed my happiness.

[emwell]

I have had intrusive thoughts my whole life.
It can be scary getting rid of something you have known for so long.
I am enjoying being free of most of them.
I have also been challenging my obsessions and compulsions.
Nothing bad has happened.