[winterlotus90]

Hello,

This is my first time posting to psychcentral. I haven't been to a therapist because it's too expensive right now and I decided to come to these forums for some instant relief in the time being. I've had OCD since I was a kid. I remember counting the number of brush strokes in my mouth when I would brush my teeth and I had no idea why I was doing it. But I had to do the exact number on both sides or I felt weird. Anyway, I've had ups and downs with my OCD for years. Anyway, I wanted to share this particular OCD behavior/ritual and I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing the same thing and what they do to cope with it or get around it.

I've developed an OCD where I have trouble purchasing things or doing certain things because I fear that a bad/scary thought will get "stuck" to that particular item I purchase or will forever be remembered alongside a particular action I take. Due to this I haven't been able to buy new glasses, get new shoes, buy new clothes, start a new video game that I want to play, etc. I understand the saying where "the less you try to think about something, the more you'll end up thinking about it" and I guess when I go to purchase or do something really important, then these bad/negative thoughts pop up in my brain. and it gets "stuck" to it. And I can't help but keep thinking the bad thoughts whenever I try to use the item I purchase, for example. And I back off and I don't purchase the item, or I will return the item, or I won't do the action. If the action is necessary, like at work or something, I try to take a different avenue quickly or distract myself with other thoughts so I can continue on with what I need to do. But it doesn't always work.

Every time I go to purchase something, especially, a bad thought pops into my head, and I fear that everytime I go to use the item I like (like shoes for example) that I will be reminded of the scary thought EVERY time I go to use the item. And I get so anxious I have to return it or I don't use it or I don't buy it to begin with. And I've tried to just let the thoughts come and still purchase the item or use it and the bad thoughts keep popping up. Obviously it's a very anxious situation everytime I go to use something I really like and I wish the bad thoughts wouldn't get "stuck" to things I want to buy.. I don't really know how to work my brain around it because exposing myself to the thoughts isn't really helping.

For example, my brother's girlfriend gave me some Japanese lantern accent lights for my room. I love them. But the moment she gave them to me, a bad thought popped into my head, and ever since then when I go to use the lights I think of that scary thought, that something might bad happen, or just an evil, vile thought gets stuck to the item and the item ends up repulsing me and I don't want to use it anymore. I've had the lights for a while and I try to use them but the anxiety keeps returning. Am I doing something wrong with this Exposure Response Prevention Therapy? Like I said, I haven't been to a therapist but I have read about ERPT and I have tried to use it in my life.

Has anyone gone through the same thing I am experiencing? Any tips or mental exercises I can try?

Thank you! I would really appreciate it

[Travelinglady]

Hello, winterlocus90, and welcome to Psych Central! That is a tough problem to have. It's like you can't enjoy getting anything new now. How about when that bad thought crops up, immediately start thinking of positive things--good experiences, happy times, and keep focusing on them?

[PaladinGuy]

Originally Posted by winterlotus90

Hello,

This is my first time posting to psychcentral. I haven't been to a therapist because it's too expensive right now and I decided to come to these forums for some instant relief in the time being. I've had OCD since I was a kid. I remember counting the number of brush strokes in my mouth when I would brush my teeth and I had no idea why I was doing it. But I had to do the exact number on both sides or I felt weird. Anyway, I've had ups and downs with my OCD for years. Anyway, I wanted to share this particular OCD behavior/ritual and I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing the same thing and what they do to cope with it or get around it.

I've developed an OCD where I have trouble purchasing things or doing certain things because I fear that a bad/scary thought will get "stuck" to that particular item I purchase or will forever be remembered alongside a particular action I take. Due to this I haven't been able to buy new glasses, get new shoes, buy new clothes, start a new video game that I want to play, etc. I understand the saying where "the less you try to think about something, the more you'll end up thinking about it" and I guess when I go to purchase or do something really important, then these bad/negative thoughts pop up in my brain. and it gets "stuck" to it. And I can't help but keep thinking the bad thoughts whenever I try to use the item I purchase, for example. And I back off and I don't purchase the item, or I will return the item, or I won't do the action. If the action is necessary, like at work or something, I try to take a different avenue quickly or distract myself with other thoughts so I can continue on with what I need to do. But it doesn't always work.

Every time I go to purchase something, especially, a bad thought pops into my head, and I fear that everytime I go to use the item I like (like shoes for example) that I will be reminded of the scary thought EVERY time I go to use the item. And I get so anxious I have to return it or I don't use it or I don't buy it to begin with. And I've tried to just let the thoughts come and still purchase the item or use it and the bad thoughts keep popping up. Obviously it's a very anxious situation everytime I go to use something I really like and I wish the bad thoughts wouldn't get "stuck" to things I want to buy.. I don't really know how to work my brain around it because exposing myself to the thoughts isn't really helping.

For example, my brother's girlfriend gave me some Japanese lantern accent lights for my room. I love them. But the moment she gave them to me, a bad thought popped into my head, and ever since then when I go to use the lights I think of that scary thought, that something might bad happen, or just an evil, vile thought gets stuck to the item and the item ends up repulsing me and I don't want to use it anymore. I've had the lights for a while and I try to use them but the anxiety keeps returning. Am I doing something wrong with this Exposure Response Prevention Therapy? Like I said, I haven't been to a therapist but I have read about ERPT and I have tried to use it in my life.

Has anyone gone through the same thing I am experiencing? Any tips or mental exercises I can try?

Thank you! I would really appreciate it

I know this is a very old post, but I can completely relate to this!

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by PaladinGuy

I know this is a very old post, but I can completely relate to this!

So can I.