I'm not sure if I belong here

LucyD · Jun 01, 2016 at 02:13 AM

Please tell me if I fit here. I have glimses at peoples privates and then thoughts that I shouldn't and then I try to look away and I feel really bad. The meds I am on help to slow it down but at times when stressed it comes on and my sight goes straight to people's private parts like breasts or privates and I look away feeling so ashamed. I feel like what is wrong with me. Am I perverted? It has happened only with adults as I am not around kids. I fear people are thinking she is a pervert to be looking at me like that!! Any feedback.

Skeezyks · Jun 01, 2016 at 07:28 PM

Hello LucyD: The Skeezyks can't really speak to the origin of such "compulsions". Someone with more knowledge of psychology could, perhaps, speak to the question of what causes a person to do this sort of thing. However, the thing I wanted to say is that you are not perverted!!! And there is no shame in this. It is simply an emotional / psychological "tic" you have developed... an habitual response most probably to social anxiety & stress.

From my perspective, the biggest problem here is the worry & shame this is causing you. Perhaps if you can find a way to let go of that, perhaps via some individual therapy, you will find that your need to catch glimpses of peoples' private parts will gradually dissolve. And even if it doesn't you will certainly feel a lot less guilty about it if you can just let go of the worry over being perverted & the shame that accompanies it. Please take care...

LucyD · Jun 01, 2016 at 10:26 PM

Hi Skeezks. This problem came on while I was in therapy for PTSD. Right now my medication for depression and PTSD is keeping it pretty well at bay but I never know when it will happen again. It comes out of the blue at times. I thought it was a tic. I have had so much shame about it. People have laughed at me, too. I don't know how to let go of the shame and worry. I'm not in counseling right now. I would like to let go of all of this shame and worry that's for sure. Thanks for your post.

MusicLover82 · Jun 01, 2016 at 10:37 PM

That seems like a very common OCD symptom you are dealing with. I have had intrusive sexual thoughts like that, and I have been afraid there was something wrong with me, too. Now I have a healthier perspective on it, and I know that when I have intrusive sexual thoughts (or any other intrusive thought) that it is my OCD, NOT ME. OCD has a funny way of making you think of things that are the opposite of what you want to focus on. If you can take a step back and realize that, you have already started winning the battle.

I would see a psychiatrist and a psychologist about this. Intrusive thoughts can be very disturbing and upsetting. Getting the proper medical care can greatly reduce your anxiety level and make you feel more in control. I know because I've been where you are and I am currently receiving psychiatric treatment and I'm doing much better.

HUGS!!!

cincidak · Jun 01, 2016 at 11:33 PM

Hello Lucy, I've had the same kind of problem in the past. It's sounds like intrusive thoughts, which are a symptom of ocd. I had to have a med change, and when my doctor found the right med my symptoms abated. Now my ocd is very mild. I don't attach any guilt to intrusive tjoughts, I just call them junk thoughts and ignore them.

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LucyD · Jun 02, 2016 at 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicLover82

That seems like a very common OCD symptom you are dealing with. I have had intrusive sexual thoughts like that, and I have been afraid there was something wrong with me, too. Now I have a healthier perspective on it, and I know that when I have intrusive sexual thoughts (or any other intrusive thought) that it is my OCD, NOT ME. OCD has a funny way of making you think of things that are the opposite of what you want to focus on. If you can take a step back and realize that, you have already started winning the battle.

I would see a psychiatrist and a psychologist about this. Intrusive thoughts can be very disturbing and upsetting. Getting the proper medical care can greatly reduce your anxiety level and make you feel more in control. I know because I've been where you are and I am currently receiving psychiatric treatment and I'm doing much better.

HUGS!!!

I see a psychiatrist and thought I said something about that in my post. It was when I was seeing a psychologist that the tic came on. I feel I have good medical care now. I have found a good balance of meds. The tic only comes on now once in awhile and I can't predict when it will happen. But when it does all the embarrassment comes back. I have no idea what sets it off. Thanks for trying to help.

LucyD · Jun 02, 2016 at 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cincidak

Hello Lucy, I've had the same kind of problem in the past. It's sounds like intrusive thoughts, which are a symptom of ocd. I had to have a med change, and when my doctor found the right med my symptoms abated. Now my ocd is very mild. I don't attach any guilt to intrusive tjoughts, I just call them junk thoughts and ignore them.

Sent from my SM-T550 using Tapatalk

Good for you!! Intrusive thoughts are also a symptom of PTSD and I have both PTSD and the tic. It's a double whammy. Thanks for trying to help.

LucyD · Jun 04, 2016 at 09:18 PM

The reason I don't have the tic as often is that being around people sets it off, the stress of being around people and I am hardly around anyone accept the manager here. I am not working because of this. How could I hold a job with this?!

cincidak · Jun 04, 2016 at 09:24 PM

How bad is the tic? When I started taking Saphris psychomotor agitation started, as well as restless leg syndrome. My pdoc prescribed Requip and Amantadine. My MD prescribed Gabapentin when those were not enough. Is your tic caused by medications you take, or just stress? I put up with taking the three add on meds because the Saphris has made me stable.

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LucyD · Jun 04, 2016 at 10:26 PM

The tic started when I wasn't on any med and it was horrible. It was going wild crazy bigtime. People were laughing at me at times. I got rejected for jobs. I went on disability because of the tic and PTSD and depression. I got on meds and stayed away from people. The tic is often triggered by being around people a lot, I don't know why. It comes out of the blue sometimes even when I am not around a lot of people. It's like the dam thing is telling me "I'm still here to torment you". I feel so bad when it happens. I don't tell people I have it because I don't think they would understand. I assume they think something is wrong with me, though. I take low dosages of meds right now because I get really bad side effects from higher dosages. Like prozac, I only take 40 mg. My doc wanted me to take 60 but it made me have to urinate all the time. Thanks for taking the time to listen.

Right now since I am hardly ever around people for the past 20 years the tic happens occasionally.

cincidak · Jun 04, 2016 at 10:30 PM

I'm good at listening,lol. I understand how you feel to some degree. When my psychomotor agitation was out of control I couldn't sit still at all, and I'd constantly squirm in my seat, or have jerry movements. It was so disruptive it made me so depressed. With the add on of Requip it stopped. I don't know if an anti-parkinson medication like Requip might help you, but it wouldn't hurt to ask your doctor.

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LucyD · Jun 04, 2016 at 11:59 PM

Well, I am currently taking primidone for a shaking disorder called essential tremor and Topamax for binge eating disorder. I don't know if that med. would mix with all the others I take and currently don't have the tic very often because of not being around many people. I have to think about it. I will discuss it with my doctor. Thank you for suggesting that. Sounds like you have been through hell, too. I was horribly depressed about the tic at one time. My current meds may be helping the tic. Every once in awhile they throw get togethers here and the tic hasn't happened at them yet. I just thought about that.

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LucyD Grand Poohbah Member Since Apr 2015 Location: USA Posts: 1,818 9 1,667 hugs given	Jun 04, 2016 at 09:18 PM #8 The reason I don't have the tic as often is that being around people sets it off, the stress of being around people and I am hardly around anyone accept the manager here. I am not working because of this. How could I hold a job with this?!
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