Pure O is ruining my life, 39 Y achieved nothing in life

Hi,

I'm OCD patient from age 13 and now I'm 39

Please I dont want to take medications I have taken Clofranil in young age and 8 years back I took Fluoxetine . The Clofranil worked great for me but give some kind of missed heart beat feeling and fear taking this cz it may harm the heart..... The Flouxetine didn't work that much but it gave hypertension and now I'm on hypertension medication from 14 years....

presently I take Clonazepam for my panic disorder and it just works great...

I just want to break my newly created negative thought pattern which I have created myself due to Pure OCD problem....

Previously I have successfully diverted or altered the Pure O thought patterns to get my mind into peace, but this new pattern is giving me lot of anxiety and obstructing my daily work..

Please give me some tips OR exercise through which I can break this negative patterns....

BACKGROUND REASON for Negative Thought :::

I always think of my neighbors ( 3 - 4 Houses) and 2 - 7 people who comment bad / curse/ vulgar words ( like on my Manliness etc etc..) on me cz of jealousy, hatred, racism. I cant directly argue /fight with them they just pass comment indirectly when I walk across.
I live in own hose and they also in their own house , relocating is difficult for me.
Because of this frustration I cant punch their faces or argue with them I have developed internal stuck revenge feelings and I always think about these negative people about 90% of the day from 3 - 4 years ,

The LOOPING PATTERN

(1) When I will offering prayers to GOD these peoples face just pops and I will not be able pray properly. I just feel I'm praying for these bad people what a Sh....t....

(2) to Forget these bad people I try to imagine my family members having blessings of GOD

(3) this worked in the beginning and later by time I messed up the thoughts and they jumbled...

(4) So when I think of my family members these bad people faces just pops up ,,, This is SH...t to resolve this I move to first pattern i.e (2)

and loop continues until I perform step (2) perfectly

Initially this one session took less duration but gradually over years this is ended in long duration. Now some time before I sleep I perform this rituals nearly for 1 - 2 hours .......

I have successfully altered /forgot various other different thought loops from child hood but I'M not able to alter OR forget this loop of thoughts ..

please please .... give some working tricks or tips to forget these BAD people images from my MIND

Hello srjkrn: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry... I don't have a lot to offer with regard to your concern. California therapist Kati Norton has a video on her YouTube channel on the topic of Pure O. Perhaps something she says may be of help:



I struggle with quite a lot of intrusive thoughts. How I approach them is to practice Buddhist techniques I learned from reading the books of Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. One technique I find to be particularly helpful is called "Compassionate Abiding". Here is a link to a nice description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

Hi Skeezyks thanks for responding , I will try the links provided by you
I hope it may help.....