[Blaire]

I’m so glad to have found this forum. I have had dermatillomania since my early teens, so about 25 years. I have always targeted my scalp, and the in the past couple of years it has expanded to my neck, shoulders, and upper back.

I have generalized anxiety disorder, which I only started treatment for a couple of years ago. My anxiety has improved, but I feel like by now the picking is so ingrained that I don’t have much hope of ever stopping. I try to reduce the picking by using fidget toys, which does help sometimes, but usually I find that my skin is just as bad when I’ve been using the toys, and I don’t know how it happened. I do it without realizing it.

I’m glad you guys have been brave enough to come here to support each other. I feel like I’m not alone in struggling with this.

[Skeezyks]

Hi Blaire: Thanks for sharing this. Anxiety has been something I've struggled with for many years. And, as I get older, it seems to be getting worse. (I always thought that, as one aged, one mellowed. But it doesn't seem to be the case.) When I was growing up I bit my fingernails. As a young adult I wanted to quit doing so & I taught myself not to. Then I discovered hair pulling! anyway... I'm glad your anxiety has improved. I hope you find yourself making ongoing progress.

[Blaire]

Skeezyks - Thank you for your understanding and support. I also bit my nails before I started picking. I was surprised by how easy it was to stop biting my nails, but then I realized I had just traded one compulsion for another. Once I started picking, that was it, I could not stop. 25 years now.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Blaire Yeah, skin-picking and hair-pulling are annoying and frustrating anxeity symptoms. But they can be overcome

[Jessy1239]

Hey everyone. I registered on this site a long time ago (2013) and just recently decided to come back and visit. I, too, have dermatillomania. I'm glad I'm not alone in this struggle. How to you guys cope with the shame and disgust of it all. Sorry, I should mention...I have severe OCD and, according to my psychologist, this is merely a symptom I've had since I was as young as I could remember. Does anyone else do this: ... I'll literally stand in front of the mirror for 2-5 hours just picking at my face. Once I'm done with my face, I move onto my back, arms, legs, groin area, and anywhere I can manage to find a bump. One I'm picking, I completely space out, it's almost euphoric. It's not until I "realize" I'm picking that I notice how much it hurts, let alone how badly it looks. I don't know how to stop. Every since I can remember, I've done this. The longest I've every gone without an "episode" is about 6 months. It was amazing, my scars healed and I actually had a bit of confidence. But, like always,I've gone back to it. My face is so raw and sore and painful. It looks disgusting and I literally hate myself right now. Why do I do this? How do I stop? Sometimes I'll wake up with blood on my pillow (not remembering my previous night of picking). The place I work is a wearhouse that is very hot and the sweat makes the sores so painful and uncomfortable. I don't look people in the eye, I just want to go home and be alone. I cant work to my full potential because the pain and shame that comes with it. I;m so sorry for the long post (which is mostly just me ranting/complaining). I just really want to know if anyone else has this? Or if anyone knows how to make it stop? As a 28 year old female, who's been picking her entire life, I just don't know hoe to stop.

[Blaire]

Hi Jessy, thank you for responding! I think anyone who has this and still goes out and works is very strong and brave. A lot of people do this, I was amazed and relieved to learn it has a name.

I'm very lucky that most of my sores are under my hair, but I am having more and more on my neck and upper back. I also get infections, and my lymph nodes get very swollen. I also have a couple of other "nervous ticks" where I move my eyes a certain way and do a weird thing with the back of my mouth/throat. I've made a lot of progress in improving the eye thing, but as that got better, the throat thing got worse. Go figure.

Have you had any treatment for anxiety? I've heard treating anxiety helps some people stop picking and hair pulling. This is a really hard condition to live with, but we have to have hope that we will find a way to get better.

Go on youtube and look up dermatillomania, skin picking, excoriation disorder, and also trichotillomania since it's very similar. There's some very honest, brave, and kind people on there who share their stories.

Keep in touch, and I hope you find something that helps!