[harmfulleh]

Hi, I posted some months ago about other issues in other forums, some things have happened and now I would like to talk about my current status.
I feel much better. School has finished, and I hated it's environment for many reasons, some wrong some right. Now I have to decide what to do next, and I'm really confused. I had many ideas about my future but now they're so many I can't choose one. I've talked about it with a psychiatrist who suggested that an antidepressive wouldn't help (and didn't), I should try something else (risperidone, antipsychotic) but we're still talking about it.
When do unwanted thoughts occur? They're almost always present. But not in an effective negative way, and it's ok! I can think about many bad things and act differently.
In a different topic I talked about my sexual issues, and now with therapy and talk I've come to this conclusion: some of my sexual thoughts, are unwanted sexual thoughts that bother me when I try to find relief (I don't want to talk about why they are negative thoughts to me or what those thoughts are about, I just want to see if it's a common thing and if there are some people here who have dealt with it).
So my problem is, right now, if those thoughts make me do something that I don't want to do generally, I feel extremely bad or ashamed, like it's a real wrong way to fail at something, or to fail at treating my 'disorder'.
Do any of you have some experience with this, or any idea? Everything can help.

[harmfulleh]

Up
I wanted to open another topic but there's already this one..
I've read about this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal
and this: https://www.psychforums.com/obsessiv...pic103176.html
I'm focusing on the 'hierarchy' part now.

and here's my current situation:
I think I've made huge progress with dealing with my thoughts. I still have thoughts I don't want to have but they're different than before, and I see them as less dangerous and less serious than the ones I used to have, but they still make me feel really bad.
So I'm going to do the same thing I did before: allowing them a period of time during my day, allowing myself to think about them but not to 'examinate' them, or just thinking about something else (the reason why I examinate them, is somewhat like I want to prove I'm not like what those thoughts tell me, but I must feel like I can trust myself without examinating them and that's my final purpose); when I will be able to think about something bad and not succumb to it's meaning I will feel free. While doing this I must do other positive things in my life without letting thoughts affecting me, it's like an all or none solution.

Being in an house full of things that make me nervous doesn't help, there are two old women talking ALL THE TIME behind my room and even if I try to stay away from it I just can't stop feeling angry about it. It's not a new thing that I transform anger and fear in arousal and it's just a way to succumb and keep feeling bad.
Till now I've only found what some might call 'passive aggressive' solutions: I add volume on the radio or I train in my room without worrying about the noise I make (well, isn't it what they do while they talk?) - also, I don't think that asking them to stop will help, it's an old daughter visiting her old mother (I didn't even talk to them, I know them from hearing them everyday and it's really frustrating)