[sadveiledbride]

My Obsessive Compulsive behaviors/tendencies and intrusive thoughts are getting worse. I don't really know how to manage it. I suppose I'm asking for advice here or just venting. I'm trying not to pity myself or have others pity me. That, perhaps, is one of the worst feelings, in my experience. Intrusive thoughts are there so much, and I want to vomit thinking about them. I won't go into detail. I've struggled with OCD possibly my whole life, since I was just a young kid. I don't really know how to handle this anymore, my intrusive thoughts are ruining my life.

[Mopey]

What are the thoughts exactly, sweetheart?

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

What are the thoughts exactly, sweetheart?

Things related to

Possible trigger:

gore, mostly

[Mopey]

Gore as in you want to hurt yourself? Do you know why?

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Gore as in you want to hurt yourself? Do you know why?

Do I know why I want to hurt myself? No, I don't have any intention of acting on my intrusive thoughts.

[Mopey]

That's good, honey. Do you know what the thoughts are about? Do you have a feeling if it would be better if you let them through and listened to them, or if it would be better if you distracted yourself from them somehow?

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

That's good, honey. Do you know what the thoughts are about? Do you have a feeling if it would be better if you let them through and listened to them, or if it would be better if you distracted yourself from them somehow?

No. I am not going to listen to them; just the fact that they're there, I suppose. I'll probably just push through them.

[Mopey]

You know, sweetheart, I'll share with you that I do that a lot of the time too. There's a voice that never leaves me, that tells me all kinds of awful things about myself. I can't do this, I can't do that, I'm no good, etc. And over many years, with advice from spiritual teachers that I trust, I've realized that it often gets worse if you fight with those voices. They say it often works better if you just let them bleat on in the background and don't actively engage them, while you quietly go about doing what you know you need to do for yourself, in your life as it is right now. Taking it a couple of minutes at a time. If you are alone in the evening, is there something you can do to comfort yourself? Distract yourself? Calm yourself? Until you can go to bed and go to sleep? Write about how you feel? Write a poem?

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

You know, sweetheart, I'll share with you that I do that a lot of the time too. There's a voice that never leaves me, that tells me all kinds of awful things about myself. I can't do this, I can't do that, I'm no good, etc. And over many years, with advice from spiritual teachers that I trust, I've realized that it often gets worse if you fight with those voices. They say it often works better if you just let them bleat on in the background and don't actively engage them, while you quietly go about doing what you know you need to do for yourself, in your life as it is right now. Taking it a couple of minutes at a time. If you are alone in the evening, is there something you can do to comfort yourself? Distract yourself? Calm yourself? Until you can go to bed and go to sleep? Write about how you feel? Write a poem?

I am sorry to hear you are dealing with these things. I hope it gets better for you. That is good advice, thank you. I shall distract myself.

[Mopey]

Please do, honey. I think it is the healthy thing for you to do. And to give you some hope, yes it has gotten better for me over the years, not out of the blue, but because I have worked on it without ceasing. I have fought for myself all my life even when it has seemed hopeless. This is what I urge you to do as well, even when you get discouraged. I get discouraged all the time, but I have kept fighting. And it's starting to work, honey, just as I'm sure it can for you. I have to go to bed now, but I will be checking in on you in the morning.

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Please do, honey. I think it is the healthy thing for you to do. And to give you some hope, yes it has gotten better for me over the years, not out of the blue, but because I have worked on it without ceasing. I have fought for myself all my life even when it has seemed hopeless. This is what I urge you to do as well, even when you get discouraged. I get discouraged all the time, but I have kept fighting. And it's starting to work, honey, just as I'm sure it can for you. I have to go to bed now, but I will be checking in on you in the morning.

Thanks. Have a good night Mopey.

[Mopey]

Good morning, Bride. I would have gotten back to you sooner, but naturally we had Network problems and I couldn't get on the Net at all till now.

So - just checking. Did you get a good sleep? Have anything up for today?

[Fuzzybear]

hugs

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Good morning, Bride. I would have gotten back to you sooner, but naturally we had Network problems and I couldn't get on the Net at all till now.

So - just checking. Did you get a good sleep? Have anything up for today?

Yeah, no worries, I just woke up. I slept alright. I have an appointment today, which is all that's on the agenda. How are you?

[Mopey]

Not too bad, Bride. I'm mostly relieved that our System problems, which can literally swallow up your entire day, ended up being resolved by the old "unplug the power cord, wait a minute or 2, then plug it back in" process.

After lunch, a couple of errands, then get ready for my annual CPE tomorrow. I'll probably hear the usual stuff: Cholesterol too high, exercise more, drink less, and "do we have any firearms in the house"? LOL.......

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Not too bad, Bride. I'm mostly relieved that our System problems, which can literally swallow up your entire day, ended up being resolved by the old "unplug the power cord, wait a minute or 2, then plug it back in" process.

After lunch, a couple of errands, then get ready for my annual CPE tomorrow. I'll probably hear the usual stuff: Cholesterol too high, exercise more, drink less, and "do we have any firearms in the house"? LOL.......

Oh, well good that your system problems have been resolved. I hope your CPE appt. goes okay.

[GSC2019]

Originally Posted by Mopey

You know, sweetheart, I'll share with you that I do that a lot of the time too. There's a voice that never leaves me, that tells me all kinds of awful things about myself. I can't do this, I can't do that, I'm no good, etc. And over many years, with advice from spiritual teachers that I trust, I've realized that it often gets worse if you fight with those voices. They say it often works better if you just let them bleat on in the background and don't actively engage them, while you quietly go about doing what you know you need to do for yourself, in your life as it is right now. Taking it a couple of minutes at a time. If you are alone in the evening, is there something you can do to comfort yourself? Distract yourself? Calm yourself? Until you can go to bed and go to sleep? Write about how you feel? Write a poem?

Not to deviate your advice; But when is distraction a compulsive behavior to the obsession vs. a natural process that is of beneficial nature?

If you have thoughts or obsessions and you purposefully distract yourself wouldn't that be compulsive behavior to temporarily feel better?