[I hate myself]

Now I am getting grandiose thoughts telling me how I am "the best at everything", "am god" and other grandiose thoughts. I honestly never really thought I was an amazing person before then and I realized I wasn't a psychopath because I can feel emotions they don't. But my real question is about these new batch of intrusive thoughts, ones telling me I am this "all-mighty" person I am not. I get thoughts like "I am better than everyone else", "they aren't as good as me", and that "I am god" when I know I am not. I am not the best and am not good at really anything overall. I don't mind having low self-esteem, so where did these thoughts come from?


Some more non-violent intrusive thoughts I get are the ones that convince me I am a sociopath, a manipulator, and a monster, and that I might act on the violent intrusive thoughts. I don't want to be cruel, be high and mighty, or be a manipulative and cold callous sociopath.


I don't see a need to manipulate others, i'm not violent, I don't want to be grandiose, nor am I charming and I am a former pathological liar.


Like my violent thoughts are less prominent, so are these, but they aren't fun and I don't want them. I just wanted to vent about this. Life was much happier in late spring to summer 2019... was it the bullying and some things my mom used to say to me at times that numbed me?

Is there a way to undo the damage to avoid harming others and losing my emotions and compassion for others.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are still struggling with all of these intrusive thoughts. I don't have anything to offer that I haven't suggested in replies to your previous posts. But I felt badly that you had received no replies to this post. Hopefully by "bumping" your post, perhaps other PC members will yet offer up their perspectives. I hope you're doing okay.