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Old 08-30-2021, 03:20 AM   #1
black-roses
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Default Sexual thoughts and fears of asexuality.

So today I was in maths class. I just felt like I was gonna have a seizure and like my hands were shaking. I got some classmates to help me out with some maths questions. Then I ate lunch, I came back for maths and I had a migraine now and my stomach was feeling sick. I was working through my maths book I kept coming back and forth to my teacher for him to answer my questions in my booklet. I think I was just anxious and wanted reassurance or something. I think I should have sat outside and took a deep breath or something because it felt like a panic attack. I can't even explain it but I felt like everyone could hear what I was thinking. I felt paranoid. He said something about instead of looking at him try and figure out the questions and I was thinking like is he talking about me what does that mean? It was super weird. I'm not even sure what to think OCD makes me think things and feel things that I'm not certain of. When I first started to this course I had sexual thoughts of my maths teacher it was random and very confusing. I wasn't sure what to make of it to be honest. Then all of a sudden the thoughts disappeared and now I'm paranoid scared thinking that he might think I have a crush on him and I'm acting strange. I honestly don't know why Im having these thoughts they make no kind of sense. I mean what's wrong with me? I can't even trust what I think and feel because OCD got me tripping up and questioning myself. The truth is it doesn't matter what these thoughts mean. There just dumb paranoid thoughts, of insecurity and anxiety. It doesn't mean I have a crush or anything but I'm just anxious and my head is making more out of a silly situation. Whenever I get the thoughts to shout out something in class I just tell my brain to stop being stupid and act right. Another thing I worry about a lot is that I'm asexual? I'm not even sure if these thoughts are intrusive and it's OCD or if it's me? I wish I knew...
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Old 09-01-2021, 10:49 AM   #2
Labhradha22
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Default Re: Sexual thoughts and fears of asexuality.

I don't understand why you worry that you might be asexual.
So what if you are?
Don't worry about it.
You can still have a normal life.
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