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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
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#21
Thank you Beth. I don’t currently use hand lotion, but I do use cuticle oil. I’m not sure, but for me it seems a balancing act of paying just enough attention to keep myself groomed, but not so much attention I’m focusing on little flaws. That, and finding habit replacements for the picking and being aware of where/when I’m likely to engage in the picking.
When I did the most damage to my fingers most recently, I was in my car at lunch. I was thinking of putting a spare cuticle oil pen in my bag, so when I do get that urge to pick my fingers, I might oil my cuticles instead. Other potential habit replacements are drawing (which I have been doing lately) & knitting (which I have yet to begin again). |
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*Beth*
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#22
Using the oil pen when you feel the urge to pick is a great idea. For the past few months I've had a lot of sleep trouble, so I'm tending to lie in bed and tear at my cuticles. After reading an article about the types of infections one can get from cuticle tears I was creeped out, and managed to stop for a full 24 hours. Then I started again. So I'm back to square one, determined to stop...again.
Thank you, Float, for writing so candidly about this miserable issue - which I suspect is far more common than we may think it is. __________________ |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
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#23
Aw, thank you Beth. Yes, I also have sleep issues. Not every night, thank goodness, but enough that it’s had a negative impact on my wellbeing. I take a magnesium in the afternoon to relax me and a melatonin before bed, but it doesn’t always work. And then yesterday & today I’ve leaned into the bathroom mirror & picked my face. Ugh! Once I start, I don’t want to stop, but tomorrow is another day...
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*Beth*
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#24
I've been considering buying a magnesium cream that you rub on the bottoms of your feet at bedtime. Apparently, many Americans lack magnesium.
The past couple of days have been slightly better with regard to scratching and picking. I am forcing myself to use a clipper thing, rather than tear. So I'm proud of that. But the weird thing is that I actually miss the "good" feeling that happens when I scratch and tear my cuticles. I really wonder what that's about. It feels instinctual. I wonder if it's an instinct gone off in the wrong direction. YES, tomorrow is another day. Keep that hope going __________________ |
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FloatThruThis
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
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#25
Quote:
Well, I am currently at 4.5 days no picking face, lips, & skin around fingernails. I’ve been trying to wash my face as soon as possible after getting home from work in the afternoons. The longer I wait, the more likely I am to lean into the mirror and start picking. |
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
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#26
4.5 days is fabulous! Good for you!!
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
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#27
Well. I was doing so good up until about 3 days ago, & then the combination of being on the rag, having a cold, & working 6 days/40+ hours a week helped torpedo my progress. I’m still not picking my fingernails, but I am picking my face, lips, & the skin around my fingernails. /:
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
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#28
....& then I picked my fingernails...
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*Beth*
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
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#29
Ok, I want to start making more of an effort to replace these picking behaviors with less destructive behaviors starting again now. I can do it; I’ve done it before. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
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#30
Welp, I lasted 4 days. Pretty good. Better than 3 days. Ordinarily I would encourage myself to start again by telling myself something like “tomorrow is another day”, but that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. Today really kicked my butt. Working 6 days a week for 43-48 hours doesn’t help. My work transfer is still only status “submitted”. I’m supposed to get an offer letter in the mail next week I guess? Even if I don’t get it, I have a break in service next month. I’m ready to not be around my coworkers for five days straight. I can live with that.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
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#31
I haven’t even been trying to not pick & it shows. My fingers are raw & there’s a spot on my face that looks like I’ve been burned. Once things settle down I will try again.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
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#32
Ok, I’m starting again today. I made a spread in my dot journal to track my progress for the month…
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
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#33
Good for you!
I was doing pretty well for about a month, then starting tearing at my cuticles again. I'm so frustrated with myself, but I'm making a huge effort to stop, at least for as long as I can. __________________ |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#34
Sorry you're struggling with this I have been struggling with it too. I also pick at my nails and cuticles, and I picke at the skin on my neck and ears, I can't stop unless my hands are doing something else. I also started drawing again to give my hands something else to do and it has been somewhat helpful
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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*Beth*, FloatThruThis
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
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#35
I got up out of bed last night to pick at my face & it looks worse today, obviously. I was so close to having a face picking free day yesterday too. I see how this compulsion is a way to try to regain the illusion of feeling in control. I’m feeling so angry at myself & members of my family of origin right now. I just want to let it all go. I’ll do some yelling in my car on the commute to work & see if that helps expel some of this pent up energy. I’m in a rural area so no one will hear.
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
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#36
I've been thinking of you, @FloatThruThisand wondering how you're doing. I was having a better time with not tearing my cuticles, but a couple of weeks ago I started again and it's been pretty bad. One night I said, Eh, just stop trying to stop. But...I want to stop. You are so correct about the control thing.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
2 2,118 hugs
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#37
Hello *Beth*! Thank you for asking. I’ve been tracking my picking behaviors for the past 2 months now.
September no picking days: Lips 18 Face 15 Fingers 15 October no picking days: Lips 23 Face 13 Fingers 13 The last days of October, I stopped caring. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
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#38
Quote:
Lips 17 Face 14 Fingers 17 The first week of the month I was just half heartedly trying. The second week, I didn’t try at all. Then I realized thanksgiving was coming up, so that was good motivation that carried me through. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
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#39
December no picking days
Lips 11 Face 11 Fingers 10 December sucked. I might have had more no picking days, but I shut down about week 3 and I am just now starting to feel okay again. So I might have missed counting a few days. I picked at my fingernails too, which I haven’t done in about six months. I hate it, because it takes about 2 solid weeks of not picking at my fingernails for them to heal. I’m in a customer facing job, so it makes me feel more self conscious. Oh well! There are worse problems to have, & after today, the holidays are over! …until next year… I’m not a fan, but it took me by surprise a little just how much more I despised them this year. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,851
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#40
I haven’t posted here in a while. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will never be 100% free of this bad habit, & it’s okay, but… I tore my nails off down to the quick again yesterday. I really hate when I do that.
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