My Picking Diary

4.5 days is fabulous! Good for you!!

Well. I was doing so good up until about 3 days ago, & then the combination of being on the rag, having a cold, & working 6 days/40+ hours a week helped torpedo my progress. I’m still not picking my fingernails, but I am picking my face, lips, & the skin around my fingernails. /:

....& then I picked my fingernails...

Ok, I want to start making more of an effort to replace these picking behaviors with less destructive behaviors starting again now. I can do it; I’ve done it before. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.

Welp, I lasted 4 days. Pretty good. Better than 3 days. Ordinarily I would encourage myself to start again by telling myself something like “tomorrow is another day”, but that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. Today really kicked my butt. Working 6 days a week for 43-48 hours doesn’t help. My work transfer is still only status “submitted”. I’m supposed to get an offer letter in the mail next week I guess? Even if I don’t get it, I have a break in service next month. I’m ready to not be around my coworkers for five days straight. I can live with that.

I haven’t even been trying to not pick & it shows. My fingers are raw & there’s a spot on my face that looks like I’ve been burned. Once things settle down I will try again.

Ok, I’m starting again today. I made a spread in my dot journal to track my progress for the month…

Good for you!
I was doing pretty well for about a month, then starting tearing at my cuticles again. I'm so frustrated with myself, but I'm making a huge effort to stop, at least for as long as I can.

Sorry you're struggling with this I have been struggling with it too. I also pick at my nails and cuticles, and I picke at the skin on my neck and ears, I can't stop unless my hands are doing something else. I also started drawing again to give my hands something else to do and it has been somewhat helpful

I got up out of bed last night to pick at my face & it looks worse today, obviously. I was so close to having a face picking free day yesterday too. I see how this compulsion is a way to try to regain the illusion of feeling in control. I’m feeling so angry at myself & members of my family of origin right now. I just want to let it all go. I’ll do some yelling in my car on the commute to work & see if that helps expel some of this pent up energy. I’m in a rural area so no one will hear.

I've been thinking of you, @FloatThruThisand wondering how you're doing. I was having a better time with not tearing my cuticles, but a couple of weeks ago I started again and it's been pretty bad. One night I said, Eh, just stop trying to stop. But...I want to stop. You are so correct about the control thing.

Hello *Beth*! Thank you for asking. I’ve been tracking my picking behaviors for the past 2 months now.

September no picking days:
Lips 18
Face 15
Fingers 15

October no picking days:
Lips 23
Face 13
Fingers 13

The last days of October, I stopped caring.

November no picking days
Lips 17
Face 14
Fingers 17

The first week of the month I was just half heartedly trying. The second week, I didn’t try at all. Then I realized thanksgiving was coming up, so that was good motivation that carried me through.

December no picking days
Lips 11
Face 11
Fingers 10

December sucked. I might have had more no picking days, but I shut down about week 3 and I am just now starting to feel okay again. So I might have missed counting a few days.

I picked at my fingernails too, which I haven’t done in about six months. I hate it, because it takes about 2 solid weeks of not picking at my fingernails for them to heal. I’m in a customer facing job, so it makes me feel more self conscious.

Oh well! There are worse problems to have, & after today, the holidays are over! …until next year… I’m not a fan, but it took me by surprise a little just how much more I despised them this year.

I haven’t posted here in a while. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will never be 100% free of this bad habit, & it’s okay, but… I tore my nails off down to the quick again yesterday. I really hate when I do that.

I’m so sorry to hear that @FloatThruThis

We can start again, from afresh! What drives yours?

I’m struggling with mine too.

I’ve been picking my arms and both a colleague and my mum have made comments recently.
I just made stuff up but I was so incredibly embarrassed

Hi Pinny, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this too. Although I gave up on not picking my face, lips, & the skin around my fingernails, I had been going for months leaving my fingernails alone. My trigger to pick at my fingernails was that I had just trimmed them and one was a little ragged. That’s all it took. What about you?

Aww I’m so sorry, it’s so difficult because I don’t know about you but sometimes I don’t even realise I do it! Until afterwards…
I guess stress is a huge factor for me. I’m always looking for ways to ease my stress but it’s hard at the moment as I’m working away from where I live. I don’t move jobs for another 2-3 months.

Do you use fidget toys?

Yes, it’s like my fingers have a mind of their own. Someone gave me a fidget spinner & I bought myself some playdoh, but they’re both put away somewhere unused. Have you found fidget toys helpful?

I actually don’t, but I do fidget with my phone pop thing and one of my rings. So I think they could be of benefit.
Maybe I should try one!

I tore my fingernails off down to the quick again last night. So this time I lasted 2 months. Better than nothing. I was picking at a toenail and it started to tear my fingernail a little; that’s what triggered it. I don’t really care about my toenails because nobody sees them, but my fingernails are a different matter. I think I’ll just try keeping my fingernails filed down even shorter than they were so I’m not as tempted to rip them off completely next time.

Only lasted nine days this time before tearing my fingernails off down to the quick again. My boss is back from vacation & our air conditioning isn’t working. Woe is me!

I tore my fingernails off down to the quick again last Sunday. I was picking at my toenails and my fingernails started to tear off and that’s all she wrote. I was doing okay in leaving my healing fingernails alone to grow back this week, but I went to a family gathering this afternoon and started picking at my fingernails and the skin around them again. Now I’m home and I don’t want to stop picking at them… It feels too good in the moment, but so painful and embarrassing later on. I have such a love hate relationship with this compulsive little behavior of mine. Oh well, there are worse problems to have. If I just leave them alone for two weeks they will heal themselves.

I tore my fingernails off down to the quick again Thanksgiving night. I was in bed watching tv/movies and started picking my toenails and my fingernails started to tear. That’s a trigger. I was rereading this thread after my last post and noticed that I had motivated myself last year by noticing Thanksgiving was coming up, so that kick started my willpower to keep that upcoming date in mind as a short term goal.

A new thing that has helped is (on top of the usual nail care), rubbing neutrogena hand cream into my cuticles. I do use cuticle oil, which is good, but rubbing in the hand cream after helps immensely. In addition to kind of locking in that oil, it creates a short term barrier to not see/feel where the cuticle may be dry or ragged.

I’m also going to look at fidget toys today, but I haven’t had luck with those in the past. It’s not enough to just have something to fiddle with, I need something that creates a feeling of flow as well or else I won’t be motivated to use it. I’m also going to try to be mindful of cutting my toenails regularly & start to wear socks to bed now that it’s cold out.

To top off the lovely week I’m having, I’ve got the zit from **** on my cheek. It looks like someone punched me and I wish they would. Oh well, at least my nails look okay finally…