Please pray for me

Due to a long history of trauma and abuse, I have severe ptsd and it caused me to have relentless obsessive terrifying thoughts about aging and dying for the past 20 years where I feel constant impending doom and can vividly imagine myself at older ages and hating it and feel myself dying all the time from horrible diseases.

My mind and body are terrorizing me. I feel like I got robbed of a life since I was never able to feel safe at any point or enjoy anything peacefully.

I have tried several treatments, therapy, and medication over the years but nothing has worked well. I lost everything and everyone.

I am now 51 and believe it is too late and am fated to live this way for the rest of my life because my body and health are terrible already and believe that I will not live much longer. My life is completely empty and alone.

I recently started medications but am worried that they will not work and am scared of the side effects. It has only been one week but I am still severely anxious and depressed.

Please pray for me that things will get better. And to everyone else struggling, you do not deserve the bad things that happened to you and I pray for your healing. Thank you.

I am sorry to hear how much you are struggling @darkfeary - that sounds rough.

Most psych meds can take longer than a week to notice an effect. You could ask the pharmacist or the doc that prescribed them how long it shoulld be before you see relief.

Other reasons I have anxiety include fasting or not eating regular heathy meals, eating high carb diet, not exercising, not showering, leaving chores undone and staying inside all the time.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

I appreciate your response. Yeah, I am definitely not doing any of those things.

I know that I need a purpose and connections but I lost everything and everyone. It is impossible to go through life completely alone.

I cannot connect with people anymore. I feel like no one likes me, ever has, or ever will.

Thank you though. I hope that you are well.

I'm struggling, too. Reading your story helped me feel less alone. So, you connected with me and I thank you. I am sending you prayers!!

I've just come across Anna Runkle (The Crappy Childhood Fairy), she has a book and talks about abuse, trauma, neglect and PTSD and C-PTSD. She also has videos on YouTube.

Also, what is really helping me now is doing EFT Tapping on myself. In thie video below, it teaches you how to do it. PESI Inc, that put out that video, has other helpful videos on YouTube, as well.

Also, I listen to John Davisi's guided meditations on YouTube. He has several. Just search for his name and a topic such as "self love" and you'll get a video that might help you.

Here is a 5-minute video, he narrates: