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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
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#1
<font color="blue">Recently I went into the chat Support Room needing help. I was so upset I couldn’t stop crying. I usually dive in to help people. I had never gone in there needing help.
Two people came in for a little while to try to help me, but they had to leave quickly. I sat there for over ½ hour by myself with tears of pain pouring down my face and a feeling of desertion from being left there alone when I knew the regular chat was absolutely full of other people. The next day my sorrow was under control, but I felt angry and betrayed. Ryan and I talked a lot about it and he tried to tell me the sometimes people are just not able to go to support because they’re just not that strong and they would hurt themselves. I just didn’t understand. Finally I was truly triggered by trying to help someone in chat. I had my first major bipolar episode because of it. I am not able to go to Support now without crashing again and I finally understand. What a huge lesson in humility! I realized I wasn’t abandoned. Sometimes there’s just not anyone around who is able to help in support. We are all here because we have an issue of some kind. We have to save ourselves before we can try to save someone else. </font> __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
(SuperPoster!)
21 397 hugs
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#2
For what it's worth, I understand what you went through and what you are saying. Don't know if it helps much, but this is all I have to offer at the moment.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{January}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} __________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
given |
#3
Thank you September.
I surely appreciate it. It's interesting being on the other side of the fence sometimes. I have learned from it though, and I guess that's what counts the most. Hugs, Jan __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2004
Location: Running on the wheel
Posts: 5,681
20 |
#4
(((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))
__________________ That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
19 23 hugs
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#5
(((((((((((((((( jan ))))))))))))))))))) i agree. in fact, before i follow someone to support (especially having PTSD), i have to stop and take a mental assessment to see what kind of "place" i'm in first. good point! i'm glad you feel better about it.
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,224
21 |
#6
Hi January -- I will make a point to look for solo people in Support from now on. I'm sorry you were so abandoned when you needed help. I'm glad you posted your experience as a reminder because now I will definitely keep an eye out for those who are asking for support, I promise.
Love, LMo __________________ thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2005
Posts: 514
19 |
#7
Jan, you know if I'm not in chat and you ever just need to vent you can PM me!
(((((jan))))) __________________ "Next, don't go to Europe to 'find yourself.' Who told you you were over there anyway?" -The Colbert Report on 'Things Not To Do After Graduating College' |
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2003
Posts: 1,167
21 |
#8
(((((((((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))))))))))) It happened to me too - being in support chat and nobody came in. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Big hugs.
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 530
19 |
#9
oh sweetie...sometimes the timing is so crappy...but as you know...i'd do anything in this world for you....long distance or not....you've got a friend...and I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed one....love ya. Grace
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
given |
#10
<font color="blue">(((((((silver))))))) right back!
Jan </font> __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
given |
#11
<font color="blue"> You understand. ((((((((((kimmy)))))))))) </font>
__________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
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#12
<font color="blue">Lmo, Thank you for watching out for people in support, but please, please only do it if you're up to it. I wouldn't wish my cycle on anyone and it was triggered by diving into something I should have avoided.
Many hugs, Jan </font> __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,224
21 |
#13
Thanks January -- I am, fortunately, free of major mental health issues so there's not a whole lot to trigger in me. Thanks for looking out for me!
__________________ thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
given |
#14
<font color="blue"> I know, sweetie and I appreciate it more than I can say. Mostly I just needed...hugged? I don't know.
I just wanted to make the point that I know now that I wasn't abandoned and that if there was anyone who could, they would have helped me. Love, Jan </font> __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
given |
#15
<font color="blue"> SS,
Three hugs in two days! Wow!!! I've come up in the world! I'm so sorry it happened to you, too. Maybe there wasn't anyone there who could lend their support?? Many, many hugs, Jan</font> __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
given |
#16
<font color="blue"> I truly, truly know I have a friend in you. (Do you hear music in the background?) You've proven you friendship over and over again and I adore you.
Although I wished you were there, this has been a big learning lesson for me. Maybe one that I needed to see the big picture. Many, many hugs, Jan </font> __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,336 hugs
given |
#17
<font color="blue"> I am so glad you are well.
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs, Jan PS. We need to watch out for each other the best we can...</font> __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: Mesa Arizona U.S.
Posts: 312
20 |
#18
(((((((((((((((((((((January))))))))))))))))))))
It is good that you brought this topic up. I see support chat as very important. If someone goes there I know they are in need. If you feel the need for social chat, you shouldnt be using that particular room. That is just my opinon. If you go into support chat , please don't be e-mailing, PMing, web searching or watching TV when someone comes in hurting. They need help now not after you are done with your multitasking. We need to care enough to put these things aside when someone comes into this room. If we notice someone coming into this room and you yourself aren't able to help, be supportive enough to try to find someone who can. Maybe someone else in another chatroom, or somene who just came on line. I know I need to be more sensitive about this issue. When I say we , I am included. ((((((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))) Thanks , Leslie |
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2003
Posts: 1,167
21 |
#19
More hugs ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I don't know, nobody came at all. Take care. Hugs. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,917
19 |
#20
*hugs* Jan... I try to help whenever I see a person alone in support but Indeed that there are days that I just cannot take trying to help someone that seemingly just can't be helped and it makes me feel so horrible. *HUGS* again it's NOT you at all!
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