Pregnant wife is very upset

Hello - i just joined this forum, because i need some advice and am not quite ready to seek counseling. My wife is 20 weeks pregnant. We had tried off and on to conceive for about a year. We finally succeeded the old fashioned way, without any drugs or treatments. We were and are extremely happy about this. We are having a little boy who is due in December. About 3 weeks ago, my brother and his wife told us that they are also expecting. They are about 6 weeks behind us. I was thrilled by the news. My wife, on the other hand was not. She was extremely upset, and cried for a very long time. She is an only child, and lost both her parents at a fairly young age. Her mother died when my wife was 17, and her father when she was 25. My family loves her to death, and is extremely happy about our baby on the way. I do not understand why she is so upset about my brother and his wife, and she resents me for not understanding. I have told her he is my brother, and i cannot be upset about the fact they are expecting. I am thrilled my boy will have a cousin his own age. But every time somebody mentions it to my wife, it sets her off again. I don't know what to do.

Hello siugoalie and welcome to PC!

I think the only thing you can do is try to be supportive. I think she’s waited so long to have this baby she wanted him to be the moon and stars to all of your family members too. The fact that he’ll have competition for attention is upsetting. Even well-adjusted people with the best intentions “compare” their grandchildren. With these children so close in age there are bound to be innocent comments made that can be hurtful. Who gets their first tooth, walks, talks etc first.

My daughter and her cousin are just over two weeks apart (they are now 19). As small children they loved spending time together, but as they got older animosity grew. One could not come home with an award or A on a report card without hearing (I assume my niece was hearing it too) oh the other did too AND ….. It was ironic because my mother in law said she hated going to her mother in laws and hearing about the other grandchildren, she wanted to talk about her kids. But she ended up doing the same thing. I honestly believe that they did not do this to hurt my daughter’s feelings, but it has been an issue for their whole lives.

So even though she’s probably hormonal and that’s affecting her judgment. This innocent coincidence could lead to some unintentional heart ache.

Time & Patience is needed here.... with Prayers that her present emotional upset does not create any ill feelings among the family - may PeAcE come to your wife once this precious little boy is born.