[leahcim]

It has hit me like "A silver diamond right in the middle of my forehead"/a line from 'Apocalypse Now')

GUILT! My problems, and there are quite a few, pale in comparison to about 90 percent of the threads and posts I have read here and at other sites.

I feel guilty for even being here. My bi-polar issues are mild, and while I thought my "caregiver" issues were horrendous, they are nothing compared to what others are dealing with.

I have become more emotional over the years and find myself crying alot about what I read here, which could be part of my bi-polar or depression issues. But I feel, being a logical person, that I'm having trouble asking for help here from people whose problems appear to be exponentially greater than mine.

I'm sorry that so many of you are suffering!

Your illness/disorder whatever you want to call it is just as important as anyone elses as it affects YOU !

So dont belittle it as its not right.

Hugs to you

[paddym22]

Hi Leachim

I have noticed your posts and they are all very supportive and well thought out, so I would imagine that everybody here is very glad you are a member and welcome you here. Just as Tishie said your issues and problems are every bit as valid as anyone elses.

Keep posting

Paddy

[Rohag]

Whether you're holding a mug or a teacup doesn't matter; when it overflows it scalds the hands. You've no less reason to be here than anyone else. (This is from me, a person who feels guilty, and feels guilty for feeling guilty...)

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Whether you're holding a mug or a teacup doesn't matter; when it overflows it scalds the hands. You've no less reason to be here than anyone else. (This is from me, a person who feels guilty, and feels guilty for feeling guilty...)

[pegasus]

((((((((( leahcim ))))))))))

No need to compare or feel guilty for what you have or haven't been through, we are very glad you are here. And if you happen to shed a tear when reading of others pain then that shows what a caring and compassionate person you are!

[(JD)]

No guilt required.

Not every member here is here to receive support only. Most of the members, like yourself, also give support to others.

Everyone needs to know they're being heard, whether dealing with mental unwellness or not. This site is more than online support from other members.

Stick around and find your particular niche.

[Rmdctc]

You shouldnt feel guilt. Everyones problems are as valid as the next person. We all fit here.

[leahcim]

Thanks to everyone that has already posted here. Your input and understanding have been very helpful. To any others that post here, I thank you in advance and will read all. Thanks again.

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by leahcim

It has hit me like "A silver diamond right in the middle of my forehead"/a line from 'Apocalypse Now')

GUILT! My problems, and there are quite a few, pale in comparison to about 90 percent of the threads and posts I have read here and at other sites.

I feel guilty for even being here. My bi-polar issues are mild, and while I thought my "caregiver" issues were horrendous, they are nothing compared to what others are dealing with.

I have become more emotional over the years and find myself crying alot about what I read here, which could be part of my bi-polar or depression issues. But I feel, being a logical person, that I'm having trouble asking for help here from people whose problems appear to be exponentially greater than mine.

I'm sorry that so many of you are suffering!

I agree with the others. An illness is an illness no matter how it effects us we are all here to fix what we have. By joining together we have a better chance at curing our illnesses. I feel we must stick togeather.

I too become very sad when I read some of the post here. Sometimes I can't believe how much more others have suffered. But then again we are all suffering in our own way and have our own problems. PC is a great place for all of us to come, ask question, vent, give support, write down how we truly feel, and get support. If we felt like we could do these things in the real world we would not need PC. I am thankful for PC and all it's members. One should never feel guilty for asking for help and support. I hope you and all members here have a happy day.

[Shangrala]

Originally Posted by leahcim

It has hit me like "A silver diamond right in the middle of my forehead"/a line from 'Apocalypse Now')

GUILT! My problems, and there are quite a few, pale in comparison to about 90 percent of the threads and posts I have read here and at other sites.

I feel guilty for even being here. My bi-polar issues are mild, and while I thought my "caregiver" issues were horrendous, they are nothing compared to what others are dealing with.

I have become more emotional over the years and find myself crying alot about what I read here, which could be part of my bi-polar or depression issues. But I feel, being a logical person, that I'm having trouble asking for help here from people whose problems appear to be exponentially greater than mine.

I'm sorry that so many of you are suffering!

To be perfectly honest...I felt the exact same way when I first joined.
I joined for support regarding a relationship issue, (which I actually already knew the outcome of, but still needed support that I was, in fact doing the right thing).
From there, I hung out. Read LOTS. Cried over and for some. Perplexed about others, learned more than I ever dreamed I would have, (and still am), and, of course...realized that my issues are null in comparison to many here.

However, one of the most wonderous things I have learned since I've joined here is...that simply by availing myself to help others is, for me, far greater therapy than I would have ever imagined likely. Not to mention the fact that every day is a learning experience here....and I've met and made some of the best friends here. Yay PC!

You are equally important
We are a comminity of the "whole"

Shangrala

[Christina86]

(((((((leahcim)))))))))

I struggle with the guilt problem myself.

It's hard comparing ourselves to others, and our problems to others... because we usually find ourselves coming up "short" ... we're never the worst, we've never had it "that bad", we've never had x,y,z bad experience happen to us, we only deal with ______ but other people deal with ______ and that's far worse, why should we complain because there are starving children in another country....

It's a never ending cycle, and it just makes us feel a lot more crappy.

I think some of it is instilled in us as children, when your parents say "stop complaining" because someone else has it worse... we gradually learn to keep our mouths shut. We don't admit that our problems may actually BE bad - we diminish our feelings.

It sucks comparing yourself to others. Because guaranteed, yes there will be people worse off than you. But also, there WILL be others who aren't as bad off as you are too!!

It's hard comparing apples and oranges.

One person could have a relatively small crisis (idk, like their TV being completely broken) and wind up going completely bananas, whereas another person might go through what would be a slightly more substantial crisis (idk, like losing their house in a fire) ... but maybe they're able to deal with it better than the other person!

We don't have to be perfect. We don't have to justify asking for help or needing help - because if we think we need it, we probably DO!

Nobody else can be in your shoes and judge whether or not your problems are "bad enough" ... you really can't walk a mile in someone else's shoes, because you'll never BE them!

I am the best Christina I can be, nobody else can be better at being me than ME! (Same for everyone else, but just replace my name, lol )

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by leahcim

... I feel, being a logical person, that I'm having trouble asking for help here from people whose problems appear to be exponentially greater than mine.

I think the fallacy of putting anyone as complex as yourself and the rest of us on a linear scale and comparing whose problems are "greater" -- is sure to create far more problems than it could possibly solve.

For one thing, at least some of the people who have the most problems, or the most interesting problems, are bound to have had the most practice at dealing with problems -- theirs, or yours, or anyone else's.

For another thing, the one place where you're likely to have the poorest view of your problems is smack in the middle of those problems: right where you happen to be. Someone else who's smack in the middle of their problems might have quite a clear view of yours and be able to give you excellent support -- completely regardless of whose problems could be called "worse".

And finally, the principle of this place seems to be that supporting someone else benefits you just as much as it does them (and likewise, supporting you benefits them). Are you sure you want to obstruct that process with (sorry!) irrelevant logic?



--------------------------------
...and post-finally: On our profile we have the option of stating we're here for "self-improvement" instead of for any particular problem big or small.

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by leahcim

It has hit me like "A silver diamond right in the middle of my forehead"/a line from 'Apocalypse Now')

GUILT! My problems, and there are quite a few, pale in comparison to about 90 percent of the threads and posts I have read here and at other sites.

I feel guilty for even being here. My bi-polar issues are mild, and while I thought my "caregiver" issues were horrendous, they are nothing compared to what others are dealing with.

I have become more emotional over the years and find myself crying alot about what I read here, which could be part of my bi-polar or depression issues. But I feel, being a logical person, that I'm having trouble asking for help here from people whose problems appear to be exponentially greater than mine.

I'm sorry that so many of you are suffering!

leahcim,
Don't do this to yourself!
Don't compare yourself/your problems to any here or irl.
When we do this we always come up short. We don't see the importance of our own problems, the validity of our presence here, and we shortchange others when we don't feel "qualified" to give our support...

In Peace
Catherine

[possum220]

Dear Leahcim,

Never feel guilty for being here. You have every right to be here, to be heard. You are going through hard things. Please don't under estimate that. This is a guilt free zone.

[turquoisesea]

I also agree.

I wanted to point out, that some people feel guilty for posting becuase they're putting "too many problems on other people"... some feel guilty because like you they feel their problems are to little! (you're not the only one who feels that way).

I agree - your problems are no more or no less important than anyone else's.
The same goes for ANYONE else who feels they have problems "too big", or ANYONE else who feels they have problems "too small"

Please don't feel bad about posting here.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

I wanted to point out, that some people feel guilty for posting becuase they're putting "too many problems on other people"...

If you were to dump your problems in someone else's lap instead of addressing them yourself, you might lose out on some learning opportunities of your own. Meanwhile, if the other person(s) happened not to like having your problems on their lap, they could always stand up and walk away.

On the whole, I do find other people's problems (and solutions) more interesting than my own so I'd rather hear about them. When I approach my limit (or run short on time) I can just stop reading (and replying).

I figure that coming to PC and being embarrassed at the quality or quantity of your problems is something like going to a fish market and being embarrassed that you only need half a pound of fish.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Catherine2

leahcim,
Don't do this to yourself!
Don't compare yourself/your problems to any here or irl.
When we do this we always come up short. We don't see the importance of our own problems, the validity of our presence here, and we shortchange others when we don't feel "qualified" to give our support...

In Peace
Catherine

((((((((((((((( Catherine ))))))))))))))))