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Thanks to all of you for responding. My happy challenge right now is a pretty big one. I get to find some proactive way to use my adult ADHD, dyslexia, cognitive delay, among other Dx's plus several years of inactivity, pull them together and come up with a creative nonfiction book that is good enough to get published. Oh, it needs to sell well, too.

I have been "working" on my first book for several years but my mind has been too scattered to do much except create a writer's notebook. I have several notebooks full of fragmented, emotional dribble and lots of self-talk telling myself the things I should be doing with all of my ideas. But I have nothing even resembling a manuscript. I should probably go out (of my hobbit house) and get involved with former peers. They need to be interviewed and I am in dire need of a storyline.

This was my plan about ten years ago before I had to quit work due to psych disability reasons.

I "rediscovered" this idea and even wrote detailed action plans about it over one year ago. I still have not ventured out; it's like terminal fear or something! And this is the best recovery I have had, in terms of long term stability and proper medication. This time there is none of this "slightly overdosed" feeling so I am perpetually groggy and unable to think. I've been there and done that, for several years.

On paper, I should be out there kickin' tail and takin' names. But my nerves are fried. I no longer trust. Where there once was faith in my own abilities there now is fear and the inability to move.

More background issues and current circumstances can be blamed but I am supposed to be very "enlightened" yet I am still frozen in place.

God, help me...I am supposed to be supporting my family, getting my three 20-something sons off to a good start in life, and bringing in enough income so my wife is finally able to stop slaving away at work after all these years of supporting my a_ _.

[pachyderm]

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Maybe things are just starting to come together for you...

[gimmeice]

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Have you considered joining a local support group? That is one way to get used to talking to people and helps lower the anxiety on venturing out. I would like to write a book too but I am stuck in a mean writers block, my plan of action is to read books about writing, they can be very helpful for getting the juices flowing.