Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Sep 27, 2009, 08:49 PM
Yesterdays's Avatar
Yesterdays Yesterdays is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,196
For as long as I can remember I've felt a lot like I don't really belong too much. In social situations I tend to feel as if I simply don't fit in with any of the people around me. This could be because I'm a bit shy or have a bit of a social phobia? But I don't know, I've always felt like even if I do gather up enough courage to talk to someone about my interests and what not, even if we do have a lot in common I simply don't really 'click' with anyone. I haven't had too many friends in my lifetime and the people I have befriended have eventually lost interest in being around me. So what's with me? Am I boring, stupid, annoying? I can never figure it out. I mean... there's obviously something up.
Has anyone else ever felt this way before?
__________________

Does anyone else feel like they never belong?

Let the shadow prove
The sunshine.


Hugs from:
Anonymous327501, Anonymous37868, Anonymous37914, Anonymous48690, BLUEDOVE, Buffy01, cyberangel2000, floatingbutterfly42, ForeverLonelyGirl, Mefisto, Merxis, Pinny, Rayne Selene, serenity2298, Stillhuman, uaworm
Thanks for this!
Beachlover527, floatingbutterfly42, ForeverLonelyGirl, serenity2298, uaworm

advertisement
  #2  
Old Sep 27, 2009, 09:08 PM
Indie'sOK's Avatar
Indie'sOK Indie'sOK is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,584
I feel this way mostly in social settings. With my closest friends, I'm fine. But with other people or less-close friends, I just feel like the "freak" or the one who doesn't belong.

(((Yesterdays))) I'm sorry you're feeling this way It's hard to see through these feelings, I know. But we're here to listen and help as best we can
__________________
Only you can prevent neurotypical jerkiness!


Last edited by Indie'sOK; Sep 27, 2009 at 09:29 PM.
  #3  
Old Sep 27, 2009, 09:17 PM
FeelingHopeful's Avatar
FeelingHopeful FeelingHopeful is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 1,223
Yesterdays im so sorry you feel this way. i think alot of people feel like that actually. some just mask it better than others. i know sometimes i can feel shy with new people . worry that i may say something stupid. if you ever want to chat., im on here alot.
  #4  
Old Sep 27, 2009, 09:35 PM
starrina's Avatar
starrina starrina is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Posts: 275
I left my partner and children
I moved in with someone I have known
for 17yrs and her children and yet
I still aft6er 2 months cannot bring myself
to sit with them all in the lounge room etc
I feel out of place scared they all see
things like they can see through my eyes
into the very depths of me my
T I have been seeing for over a
yr now and she comments every so often
asking me when will she see my eyes
I tell her never I simply cannot even look
people in the eye either and this to is how
I feel in shopping centers at partys etc so
yes unfortunatly I do and I am sorry you do.
__________________



"Look at me, I'm a tangled puppet--I might be a mess, but I sure can survive."
--4 Non Blondes

"We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay."

--Lynda Barry

"Years Teach Us More Then Books"
  #5  
Old Sep 27, 2009, 10:05 PM
bebop's Avatar
bebop bebop is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Ga
Posts: 13,936
I feel this way all the time. always have. I know how you are feeling.
__________________

He who angers you controls you!
Hugs from:
floatingbutterfly42
Thanks for this!
floatingbutterfly42, kindachaotic
  #6  
Old Sep 28, 2009, 12:15 AM
Rapunzel's Avatar
Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
Me too. I've never belonged anywhere. I was an Air Force brat, and just moved around all the time, and noplace was ever home. I've always been an outsider. I don't know how to belong, and I'm always sure that other people already have established friendships and relationships and there is no real place for me. I make a few friends (never comfortable in large groups), but never feel like I'm a real part of their lives. It feels like if I weren't there, nobody would care, or probably notice. Even when I know that there are a few people who reach out to me or even appreciate something that I know or can do.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

Hugs from:
Anonymous327501
Thanks for this!
chalmette70043
  #7  
Old Sep 28, 2009, 12:20 AM
GrayNess GrayNess is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 228
Plenty of times I feel like I'm somehow out-of-the-loop that so many others seem to be in, although I think this applies to everyone. For people I know more of and socialize more with, I don't really have this although I suppose that's something to be expected. Sometimes though, even for those who I know very well, I sometimes feel as though I've excluded myself without intending to do so. For example, if there's a conversation that ties in with some basic biology or psychology, then I'll use analyze whatever is being said, use complex terminology that my professors and most classmates know because that's the environment I'm used to using them in. Take for example, someone mentions something about laughing and in response you mention fMRIs, nucleus accumbens and so forth. It kills the mood pretty fast unless the people understand those and other more complex concepts and terms.
Hugs from:
Anonymous327501
Thanks for this!
Junerain
  #8  
Old Sep 28, 2009, 06:03 AM
VickiesPath's Avatar
VickiesPath VickiesPath is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Posts: 2,779
(((((((((((((((( yesterdays ))))))))))))))

I think I do know how you feel. I'm 56 and if you knew me in person, you would be surprised when I say that from the time I was the youngest I can remember, I decided that aliens must have dropped me in the middle of this strange, unrelated family because I was nothing like them and I never related to them and I hated them and from the moment I could remember, I never fit in ANYWHERE. Mostly, I still don't unless I stay quiet and play a shy person. If I let my personality show through, I would get out and out rejection and I've had enough of that. So, I keep quiet and let everyone think I'm shy and harmless so occasionally, someone bothers to talk to me. My mind works differently than other people. I actually am not shy. Just different. I think differently. I process differently. I've never had too many friends, actually hardly any friends, because of it. But I managed. And today, I am the luckiest woman in the world because one day, I happened to meet this wonderful, goofy, strange man who everyone thought was really wierd and he fell in love with me. He gets my sense of humor and I get his. We are perfect together and have been married ten years. So, don't give up. Live your life to make yourself as happy as you can and if you do that, you will be happy.
__________________
Does anyone else feel like they never belong?Vickie
Hugs from:
Anonymous327501, BLUEDOVE
Thanks for this!
dfwsteph, Junerain, Onward2wards
  #9  
Old Sep 28, 2009, 06:14 AM
possum220's Avatar
possum220 possum220 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,416
Me too Yesterdays.
  #10  
Old Sep 28, 2009, 07:25 AM
Porcelain_doll_2004's Avatar
Porcelain_doll_2004 Porcelain_doll_2004 is offline
Grand Magnate
Chat Leader
 
Member Since: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,120
I understand feeling like you never belong. I have grown my my whole life and have never really felt like I fit in anywhere. I can go out with people but I end up in a corner very quiet and very few even notice (if any) that I am there.

Do know that I understand.
Hugs from:
floatingbutterfly42
Thanks for this!
floatingbutterfly42
  #11  
Old Sep 28, 2009, 12:56 PM
Amazonmom's Avatar
Amazonmom Amazonmom is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: usa
Posts: 1,730
I've felt like this my whole life. It just hit me a few days ago that I will never be normal, I will always be on the outside.
__________________
"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"

Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more.
  #12  
Old Sep 28, 2009, 05:07 PM
Junerain's Avatar
Junerain Junerain is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2004
Location: dreamy land
Posts: 16,887
You belong right here in psychcentral

Welcome home
__________________
Thanks for this!
Amazonmom
  #13  
Old Sep 29, 2009, 11:33 PM
kameo1991 kameo1991 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: In a field of paper flowers
Posts: 112
Yep, like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite seem to fit in anywhere. Though, sometimes I like to pretend that I'm popular or just an important person. And even catch myself smiling at the thought which probably seems stupid because I'm usually by myself.

...it's probably a "strange" thing to know you are your own best friend.
__________________
  #14  
Old Sep 30, 2009, 12:37 AM
Naturefreak's Avatar
Naturefreak Naturefreak is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 5,146
(((Yesterdays)))
Pretty much all my life ....... My psych tells me it's MY thinking patterns and that
I'm just like everybody else . It's ME telling myself I don't , when in reality I belong just as much as anyone else . You DO belong here or there .
__________________
Depression is not a weakness ...... it is a sign that you have been strong for too long.
  #15  
Old Sep 30, 2009, 12:39 AM
SeptemberMorn's Avatar
SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
Most Legendary Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
Yep! I felt that way most of my life. It didn't help that I was the black sheep of the family... I guess. I never seemed to measure up anywhere, everbody either ignored me or made fun of me.

The first time I got married it was out of sheer desperation to get out of the house. Big Mistake! I jumped from the frying pan into the fire! After 12 years of that, I made a friend because from somewhere deep inside, I found the courage to talk to him. He convinced me that what I was going through was totally wrong. Eventrually, I got out of the "fire."

There was a group of divorced people that I heard about and I was so desperate for adult interaction, that I snuck into the meeting one time. Lo and behond, they slit up into small groups! They lived up to their name, though, "We Care."

Looking back, I believe that is where I started getting the courage to be myself. I knew I wasn't as wacked out as some of the other members! From there, I've just progressed and have not been aware of, really, until recently. I'm not a wallflower anymore and I don't sit with a scowl on my face in a corner when in a group of people because no one talks to me.

There is no communication anymore with the cousins I grew up with. Maybe they're all dead. IDK. Those are the people that would probably make me really feel ill at ease. They always did. There was only one female cousin that I felt comfortable with since I was a child... and she was old enough to be my mother.

All through my life I only had one friend at a time. I still only have one friend that I go out with, but she's no good to tell things to. She has been my guardian angel through the years. She gets total credit for that! ... ... Sitting here counting the close friends I've had... six. Only six... in 3D that is... in the last 66 yrs. I have friends here on PC that I wouldn't trade for the world, but they don't have to look at me, put up with my moods, my opinions and my set ways, either!

IDK... somewhere along the line I stopped caring what people in general think of me. Either they like me for who I am, or... not. So be it. I've also stopped being a people pleaser. I'm like Popeye...

Does anyone else feel like they never belong?
__________________


Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
  #16  
Old Sep 30, 2009, 01:02 AM
paddym22's Avatar
paddym22 paddym22 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: somewhere
Posts: 1,136
I used to think I was just plain odd, now I just see it as not fitting into the norm and refusing to conform to what society expects of me, because I am unable to do so......................
Thanks for this!
Junerain
  #17  
Old Sep 30, 2009, 04:16 PM
Rio_'s Avatar
Rio_ Rio_ is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Aug 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,133
Not quite as much any more, but I used to feel that way almost all the time when I was at school, especially in the later years - I was convinced that I was always in the way and nobody wanted me around, so I avoided people as much as I could. I still find myself slipping back into that way of thinking sometimes, but it has got better since starting university and meeting new people.
__________________
Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #18  
Old Oct 01, 2009, 10:34 AM
melinda84 melinda84 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 93
yep, i feel that way quite frequently. It's certainly not easy for me to socialize much with people.
  #19  
Old Oct 03, 2009, 01:27 AM
Nordic's Avatar
Nordic Nordic is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 7
I've never had a feeling like I belong. When I come home from work, school, or wherever I sometimes get this look from my older brother like I don't belong here. I have a VERY small group of friends and most of the time, if there is more than one around me, I feel like I'm intruding. There are even times when I'm walking somewhere like college, or a mall, or at work when I have this really strong feeling that people are staring at me as if I shouldn't be there either.
  #20  
Old Oct 04, 2009, 05:35 PM
kebsfroggy's Avatar
kebsfroggy kebsfroggy is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: Lily Pad, USA
Posts: 4,025
I have felt that way pretty much my whole life. Considering I'm working on antiquity it has been a long, long time. I've had so many yesterdays that I guess it just doesn't matter any more.

When young, you open your door in the morning and see what lies ahead. It might be crappy but it still is ahead. Then one day you open your door and realize nothing lies ahead. What happen to all those days that use to be my future?

As a frog of little brain I have no answers for you but I assure you, you are not alone.
kebs
__________________
kebsDoes anyone else feel like they never belong?
  #21  
Old Oct 04, 2009, 10:28 PM
maymie maymie is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 109
I know how you feel. I feel this way often. I don't really know how to help you as I'm going through some stuff my self. Please know you are not alone.
  #22  
Old Jan 10, 2011, 10:12 PM
thebody thebody is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Posts: 3
Hi there everyone. Thank u all 4 sharing ur feelings. I don't feel like I'm the only one now. I have never felt like i belong anywhere. My mother and father left me when I was 6yrs old. I was found a few days later and put into an orphanage. When I was 7 1/2 I was placed with a foster family, and lived there till I was 18. I was horrible. Apart from the physical, mental, and sexual abuse, I was never shown any love. I was an outsider and never fitted in. I always just wanted to to belong somewhere.
I'm 30 now, and engaged to an amazing woman. We both have custody of my 10yr old sister. My sister is a part of my fiance's family. She is someones grandaughter, niece, cousin, ect... But not me. It's a stab in the heart that I fought to get my sister, and now she has a place in the family, but I still don't. The family loves me, but I don't fit in anywhere. I'm no ones daughter, niece, sister ect. It really hurts. They all love me, but when it comes to christmas family photos and special occassions, I get left out. I know I'm grown up now. But never have i ever felt like I belong anywhere. It hurts me so much, cause to belong, is all i ever wanted.

Last edited by Typo; Jan 10, 2011 at 11:22 PM. Reason: add trigger icon
  #23  
Old Jan 10, 2011, 10:16 PM
thebody thebody is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Posts: 3
It hurts so bad that I'll never belong in a family :'(
  #24  
Old Jan 10, 2011, 10:16 PM
thebody thebody is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Posts: 3
I am a child trapped inside a womans body
  #25  
Old Jan 11, 2011, 07:53 AM
sarek sarek is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 178
I also feel this sense of not belonging. Of being different. I remember over twentyfive years ago I mentioned to someone that I had always been a minority of one.
I feel like the proverbial iceberg. 10% of me relates with the world around me, the rest I keep forever hidden from most people.
While I live my life together with others at the same time I always have several other inner worlds running in parallel, which they know nothing about.

But instead of feeling sorry and misunderstood I seem to be able to turn it into a strength. I do not play along with the games of the world. Instead I am free to think and feel and perceive.
__________________
YOU are a beautiful, inherently powerful, irreplaceable, unique and wonderful being of infinite worth and value.
Reply




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:02 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.