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Yesterdays
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Default Sep 27, 2009 at 08:49 PM
  #1
For as long as I can remember I've felt a lot like I don't really belong too much. In social situations I tend to feel as if I simply don't fit in with any of the people around me. This could be because I'm a bit shy or have a bit of a social phobia? But I don't know, I've always felt like even if I do gather up enough courage to talk to someone about my interests and what not, even if we do have a lot in common I simply don't really 'click' with anyone. I haven't had too many friends in my lifetime and the people I have befriended have eventually lost interest in being around me. So what's with me? Am I boring, stupid, annoying? I can never figure it out. I mean... there's obviously something up.
Has anyone else ever felt this way before?

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Default Sep 27, 2009 at 09:08 PM
  #2
I feel this way mostly in social settings. With my closest friends, I'm fine. But with other people or less-close friends, I just feel like the "freak" or the one who doesn't belong.

(((Yesterdays))) I'm sorry you're feeling this way It's hard to see through these feelings, I know. But we're here to listen and help as best we can

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Default Sep 27, 2009 at 09:17 PM
  #3
Yesterdays im so sorry you feel this way. i think alot of people feel like that actually. some just mask it better than others. i know sometimes i can feel shy with new people . worry that i may say something stupid. if you ever want to chat., im on here alot.
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Default Sep 27, 2009 at 09:35 PM
  #4
I left my partner and children
I moved in with someone I have known
for 17yrs and her children and yet
I still aft6er 2 months cannot bring myself
to sit with them all in the lounge room etc
I feel out of place scared they all see
things like they can see through my eyes
into the very depths of me my
T I have been seeing for over a
yr now and she comments every so often
asking me when will she see my eyes
I tell her never I simply cannot even look
people in the eye either and this to is how
I feel in shopping centers at partys etc so
yes unfortunatly I do and I am sorry you do.

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Default Sep 27, 2009 at 10:05 PM
  #5
I feel this way all the time. always have. I know how you are feeling.

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Default Sep 28, 2009 at 12:15 AM
  #6
Me too. I've never belonged anywhere. I was an Air Force brat, and just moved around all the time, and noplace was ever home. I've always been an outsider. I don't know how to belong, and I'm always sure that other people already have established friendships and relationships and there is no real place for me. I make a few friends (never comfortable in large groups), but never feel like I'm a real part of their lives. It feels like if I weren't there, nobody would care, or probably notice. Even when I know that there are a few people who reach out to me or even appreciate something that I know or can do.

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Default Sep 28, 2009 at 12:20 AM
  #7
Plenty of times I feel like I'm somehow out-of-the-loop that so many others seem to be in, although I think this applies to everyone. For people I know more of and socialize more with, I don't really have this although I suppose that's something to be expected. Sometimes though, even for those who I know very well, I sometimes feel as though I've excluded myself without intending to do so. For example, if there's a conversation that ties in with some basic biology or psychology, then I'll use analyze whatever is being said, use complex terminology that my professors and most classmates know because that's the environment I'm used to using them in. Take for example, someone mentions something about laughing and in response you mention fMRIs, nucleus accumbens and so forth. It kills the mood pretty fast unless the people understand those and other more complex concepts and terms.
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Default Sep 28, 2009 at 06:03 AM
  #8
(((((((((((((((( yesterdays ))))))))))))))

I think I do know how you feel. I'm 56 and if you knew me in person, you would be surprised when I say that from the time I was the youngest I can remember, I decided that aliens must have dropped me in the middle of this strange, unrelated family because I was nothing like them and I never related to them and I hated them and from the moment I could remember, I never fit in ANYWHERE. Mostly, I still don't unless I stay quiet and play a shy person. If I let my personality show through, I would get out and out rejection and I've had enough of that. So, I keep quiet and let everyone think I'm shy and harmless so occasionally, someone bothers to talk to me. My mind works differently than other people. I actually am not shy. Just different. I think differently. I process differently. I've never had too many friends, actually hardly any friends, because of it. But I managed. And today, I am the luckiest woman in the world because one day, I happened to meet this wonderful, goofy, strange man who everyone thought was really wierd and he fell in love with me. He gets my sense of humor and I get his. We are perfect together and have been married ten years. So, don't give up. Live your life to make yourself as happy as you can and if you do that, you will be happy.

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Default Sep 28, 2009 at 06:14 AM
  #9
Me too Yesterdays.
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Default Sep 28, 2009 at 07:25 AM
  #10
I understand feeling like you never belong. I have grown my my whole life and have never really felt like I fit in anywhere. I can go out with people but I end up in a corner very quiet and very few even notice (if any) that I am there.

Do know that I understand.
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Default Sep 28, 2009 at 12:56 PM
  #11
I've felt like this my whole life. It just hit me a few days ago that I will never be normal, I will always be on the outside.

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Heart Sep 28, 2009 at 05:07 PM
  #12
You belong right here in psychcentral

Welcome home

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Default Sep 29, 2009 at 11:33 PM
  #13
Yep, like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite seem to fit in anywhere. Though, sometimes I like to pretend that I'm popular or just an important person. And even catch myself smiling at the thought which probably seems stupid because I'm usually by myself.

...it's probably a "strange" thing to know you are your own best friend.

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Default Sep 30, 2009 at 12:37 AM
  #14
(((Yesterdays)))
Pretty much all my life ....... My psych tells me it's MY thinking patterns and that
I'm just like everybody else . It's ME telling myself I don't , when in reality I belong just as much as anyone else . You DO belong here or there .

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Tongue Sep 30, 2009 at 12:39 AM
  #15
Yep! I felt that way most of my life. It didn't help that I was the black sheep of the family... I guess. I never seemed to measure up anywhere, everbody either ignored me or made fun of me.

The first time I got married it was out of sheer desperation to get out of the house. Big Mistake! I jumped from the frying pan into the fire! After 12 years of that, I made a friend because from somewhere deep inside, I found the courage to talk to him. He convinced me that what I was going through was totally wrong. Eventrually, I got out of the "fire."

There was a group of divorced people that I heard about and I was so desperate for adult interaction, that I snuck into the meeting one time. Lo and behond, they slit up into small groups! They lived up to their name, though, "We Care."

Looking back, I believe that is where I started getting the courage to be myself. I knew I wasn't as wacked out as some of the other members! From there, I've just progressed and have not been aware of, really, until recently. I'm not a wallflower anymore and I don't sit with a scowl on my face in a corner when in a group of people because no one talks to me.

There is no communication anymore with the cousins I grew up with. Maybe they're all dead. IDK. Those are the people that would probably make me really feel ill at ease. They always did. There was only one female cousin that I felt comfortable with since I was a child... and she was old enough to be my mother.

All through my life I only had one friend at a time. I still only have one friend that I go out with, but she's no good to tell things to. She has been my guardian angel through the years. She gets total credit for that! ... ... Sitting here counting the close friends I've had... six. Only six... in 3D that is... in the last 66 yrs. I have friends here on PC that I wouldn't trade for the world, but they don't have to look at me, put up with my moods, my opinions and my set ways, either!

IDK... somewhere along the line I stopped caring what people in general think of me. Either they like me for who I am, or... not. So be it. I've also stopped being a people pleaser. I'm like Popeye...

Does anyone else feel like they never belong?

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Default Sep 30, 2009 at 01:02 AM
  #16
I used to think I was just plain odd, now I just see it as not fitting into the norm and refusing to conform to what society expects of me, because I am unable to do so......................
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Default Sep 30, 2009 at 04:16 PM
  #17
Not quite as much any more, but I used to feel that way almost all the time when I was at school, especially in the later years - I was convinced that I was always in the way and nobody wanted me around, so I avoided people as much as I could. I still find myself slipping back into that way of thinking sometimes, but it has got better since starting university and meeting new people.

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Default Oct 01, 2009 at 10:34 AM
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yep, i feel that way quite frequently. It's certainly not easy for me to socialize much with people.
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Default Oct 03, 2009 at 01:27 AM
  #19
I've never had a feeling like I belong. When I come home from work, school, or wherever I sometimes get this look from my older brother like I don't belong here. I have a VERY small group of friends and most of the time, if there is more than one around me, I feel like I'm intruding. There are even times when I'm walking somewhere like college, or a mall, or at work when I have this really strong feeling that people are staring at me as if I shouldn't be there either.
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Default Oct 04, 2009 at 05:35 PM
  #20
I have felt that way pretty much my whole life. Considering I'm working on antiquity it has been a long, long time. I've had so many yesterdays that I guess it just doesn't matter any more.

When young, you open your door in the morning and see what lies ahead. It might be crappy but it still is ahead. Then one day you open your door and realize nothing lies ahead. What happen to all those days that use to be my future?

As a frog of little brain I have no answers for you but I assure you, you are not alone.
kebs

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